HSBC

Been thinking about TP’ing your CEO’s house? Or placing a massive trade that, let’s be honest, probably won’t work out and will ultimately cost the firm billions? Or taking the keys to your boss’s vintage Ferrari and driving some colleagues uptown for a joy ride, and when confronted about, claim you thought the office had a “what’s mine is yours” policy? Or dressing up as his wife for Halloween? Thanks to a new compensation plan being considered by London bank, now you can? Read more »


She’s got a money fan and she’s not afraid to use it. Gird your loins. [Twitter]

Related: Spandex-Clad, Billy-Club Brandishing Roller Girl Also Moonlights As ‘Ethical Fiscal Fairy’; Spandex-Clad Roller Girl Was Not Only Prepared To Put Citi Execs Over Her Knee But Read Them Their Rights; Blow-Up Jamie Dimon Recieved An Ass Kicking Today; Noted ‘Bank Reform Bitch’ Also Makes Appearances As ‘Desperate for Justice Housewife’; Bank Reform Bitch/ Ethical Fiscal Fairy/ Spandex-Clad Roller Girl/ Better Banking Butterfly Weighs In On Derivatives; Bank Reform Bitch/ Spandex-Clad Roller Girl/ Better Banking Butterfly/ Ethical Fiscal Fairy Pays Jamie Dimon A House Call

You can waterboard him. Pull his finger- and toenails out with rusty pliers. Electrocute his genitals. Make him talk to a House of Commons select committee.

But know this: Jonathan Evans will take HSBC’s darkest secrets to the grave. Read more »

  • 19 Mar 2013 at 3:26 PM

The Ballsiest Country In The Western Hemisphere

The passing of the torch.

It’s not Venezuela, now that old Hugo is gone. It’s not Cuba. And it’s definitely not the U.S. Indeed, the ballsiest country on this side of the globe seems to be measuring its cojones against us, in a series of direct throw-downs. And Argentina’s are bigger. Read more »

Deutsche Bank Sinks Right Past HSBC

Getting caught money-laundering for the Iranians and drug cartels is pretty bad for business, as HSBC’s 2012 results demonstrate. But coming into compliance with all these new banking regulations is even worse.

Disgraced though HSBC may be, what with the $4 billion-plus it paid in fines to regulators last year, and the 17% drop in profit that entails, the old Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corp. managed to shrink less than its friends in Frankfurt in an unusual race backwards, thereby dethroning the Germans as Europe’s largest bank. Read more »

  • 11 Dec 2012 at 5:50 PM

It’s Good To Be Too Big To Fail

So, HSBC is going to have to cough up almost $2 billion for, in effect, running a massive money-laundering operation that helped fund such luminary do-gooders as the Iranian government and Mexican drug gangs. But the U.S. has decided not to throw the cuffs on the British bank because, well, that would be pretty hard. And could create an awful lot of collateral damage that no one needs as the country careens off the fiscal cliff. Read more »

Swiss banks are turning over thousands of employee names to U.S. authorities as they seek leniency for their alleged role in helping American clients evade taxes, according to lawyers representing banking staff. At least five banks supplied e-mails and telephone records containing as many as 10,000 names to the U.S. Department of Justice, according to estimates by Douglas Hornung, a Geneva- based lawyer representing 40 current and former employees of HSBC Holdings’s Swiss unit, Credit Suisse, and Julius Baer Group Ltd. The data handover is illegal, said Alec Reymond, a former president of the Geneva Bar Association, who is representing two Credit Suisse staff members. “The banks are burning their own people to try and cut deals with the DOJ,” said Hornung. “This violation of personal privacy is unprecedented in the Swiss banking industry.” [Bloomberg]