Hurricane Sandy

  • Hedge Funds

    Hedge Fund Manager Throws Up Hands, Professes Ignorance About Meaning Of Popular Graffiti

    In case you missed it, the British graffiti artist Banksy has been in town for a few weeks, infuriating local vandals and certain aesthetically-sensitive officeholders alike, inspiring entrepreneurs, sending those in-the-know into boroughs that they had not previously heard of and fueling the manufactured-outrage industry with the observation that One World Trade Center is not […]

    / Oct 29, 2013 at 4:00 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    Local Man Won’t Be Impressed By Inclement Weather Until His House Is Seaborne

    Fermat Capital Management’s John Seo lives in Westport, Conn., and so the faux-pas narrowly averted by New York’s next mayor and not-New-York’s-next-mayor does not concern him. Nor, it must be said, did the thing whose anniversary will send Messrs. de Blasio and Lhota into sack-cloth and ashes, not only because it only meant nothing more […]

    / Oct 28, 2013 at 4:06 PM
  • 220px-Sandy_Oct_25_2012_0400Z

    News

    Economy Not Nearly Good Enough To Take Credit For Everyone Getting Knocked Up Circa Sandy

    Only your raw sexual magnetism/the lack of cable/light/food can do that.

    / May 30, 2013 at 6:13 PM
  • News

    Area Nonpartisan Hedge Fund Manager Still Working Out How People Could Cast Their Vote For President Based On A Little Rain

    “For years I kept these memos away from anything related to politics. But more recently I began to discuss issues facing the United States, and this has required some mention of policy and thus of politics. I’ve tried very hard to be non-partisan, with a goal of not having readers know my leanings…Because I found […]

    / Nov 21, 2012 at 12:34 PM
  • leoncooperman

    News

    Leon Cooperman Has Nothing To Say About You-Know-Who

    “I have extreme problems with my office due to the hurricane and that is where I am focused,” Cooperman wrote in response to a request for comment by Absolute Return about the reelection of Barack Obama, whose rise to power Cooperman previously likened to that of Adolf Hitler and who, by the by, is still […]

    / Nov 9, 2012 at 12:56 PM
  • News

    Former Mayor Still Has His Finger On the Pulse Of New York, And If It Were Up To Him He’d Give The City What It Wants On Sunday: A God Damn Party

    As you may have heard, things are not going so well for New York City* of late. Lower Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn have been without power for days. A hundred or so houses that once stood in Queens are now rubble. Staten Island has been destroyed. Those living uptown and in other areas that emerged relatively unscathed are dealing with survivor’s guilt. In spite of all that, Mayor Bloomberg has declared that the Marathon, scheduled for Sunday will go on, a decision that has been met with considerable outrage by people who believe the considerable resources that go toward putting on the race should be put to more critical use elsewhere, that the city does not need the strain of putting up an additional 40,000 people, that the supposed economic benefit would be a drop in the bucket of what NYC needs, that the generators sitting in Central Park right now could be helping those sitting in darkness, and that considering dead bodies are still being pulled of the water, it’s generally “too soon.” One guy who’d beg to differ? Ed Koch. Twenty-five years out of his mayorship, he still gets these people and while the media would have you believe holding the marathon has caused an enormously heated debate, that’s bull. New Yorkers want this and if Koch were still King? He’d be throwing a god damn parade come Sunday.

    “I’m telling you — and I think I’ve got pretty good judgment in this matter —that the people of New York City want the marathon to be run, and I applaud what the mayor is doing,” Koch told CNBC. “I think the media is creating a fuss that doesn’t exist, and that the people of New York City want this marathon,” he said on “Fast Money.” “If I were mayor, I would be doing exactly the same thing.” Koch, who served as mayor from 1978 to 1989, said that he faced the same decision when the city was near bankruptcy and still threw a ticker-tape parade for the Yankees following their World Series win. The parade came despite opposition from the media. “I said, ‘New York Times, you have your head screwed on wrong.’ What the people of New York City need is a celebration, something that will lift their spirits, and there’s nothing comparable to the marathon with respects to lifting the spirits of this city,” he said.

    NYC Marathon Must Go On, Ex-Mayor Koch Says [CNBC]

    *And the East Coast in general, Haiti, Jamaica and Cuba.

    / Nov 2, 2012 at 3:21 PM
  • sandy pic

    News

    Hurricane Sandy Destroys Trillions Of Dollars Of Securities But That’s No Big Deal

    I’m a little obsessed with the Depository Trust & Clearing Corp. One way to think of the financial industry is that it is basically a machine for abstracting real human activity: you buy a house made of bricks and wood and stuff, but the financial industry enters numbers in a computer to represent your mortgage, […]

    / Nov 2, 2012 at 2:57 PM
  • News

    Guy Who Shares The Same Name As “Hedge Fund Analyst” Spreading Lies About Hurricane Sandy On The Internet Would Appreciate Not Being Mistaken For Said “Hedge Fund Analyst” Spreading Lies About Hurricane Sandy On The Internet

    For those of you who do not keep up with the drama in the Twitter universe, many, many people are very angry with a user who goes by the name @comfortablysmug, for spreading false information during the worst of Hurricane Sandy that included claims that ConEd workers were “trapped in a power station,” that ConEd […]

    / Oct 31, 2012 at 9:19 PM
  • News

    Knight Capital Having Difficulty Catching A Break

    Knight Capital is experiencing “power issues” and told clients to trade equities elsewhere, according to a memo from the company. No new orders are being accepted, said the Jersey City, New Jersey-based company, which almost went bankrupt in August after a computer error flooded the market with unintended trades. [Bloomberg, earlier]

    / Oct 31, 2012 at 1:26 PM
  • UBS

    News

    Layoffs Watch ’12: UBS Tells Employees Not To Bother Themselves With Figuring Out How To Get Into Work (Ever Again)

    Earlier this week, before a natural disaster struck the East Coast, UBS announced that it would essentially be getting out of the investment banking business and focusing its energy on wealth management, letting go of approximately 10,000 employees as it transitioned back to its tax evading roots. That was Monday morning, and while the bank had said that it planned to start cuts on Tuesday, most people assumed that the Swiss would wait at least 24 hours between the time Connecticut Governor Dannel Malloy told residents to seek safety from the storm on their roofs, or power for the many who lost it was restored, to can a bunch of staff. Those people, however, thought wrong. Apparently when UBS decides to do something, neither wind nor rain nor is gonna stop them.

    / Oct 31, 2012 at 10:11 AM
  • goldmansachshurricanesandy

    News

    Caption Contest Monday: Goldman Sachs Will Protect This House

    [Stephen Foley via Felix Salmon]

    / Oct 29, 2012 at 2:21 PM
  • johnblondelrolloblondelnytimes

    News

    Good News: You Probably Won’t Have To Swim To Work Tomorrow (Or Pretend To Work From Home)*

    …or possibly even Wednesday, according to Reuters, which reports “The U.S. stock market is expected to be closed on Tuesday” and while “every effort is being made to reopen markets” the following day, a final decision will be made once there is a better idea of the havoc Sandra will wreak, both downtown and in areas market participants are located. In related news, think of the dogs of Goldman Sachs.

    They were crestfallen, whimpering in disbelief. The city’s dogs walked right up to an east side entrance of Central Park, saw the fence and could not fathom why they – and their owners – were not allowed in. For a little wind? Light rain? They had seen worse. “I may have to carry him away,” said John Blondel, nodding to Rollo, a spry-looking white Labrador who was 10 and a half years old. Rollo decided to engage in a sit-down strike in front of the 79th Street entrance on Fifth Avenue.

    Mr. Blondel, 56, who is in the investment management division for Goldman Sachs, had driven from his apartment in the West Village to give Rollo his daily constitution. Later, he would work from home. “This is going to be it for a while,” he said to his friend. Soon, Rollo was joined by several other dogs dragging their walkers to yet another blocked entrance. “They’re just amazed,” Mr. Blondel said. When a gust of wind blew an opening in the temporary fencing, Rollo was wise to the opportunity. Mr. Blondel had to pull him back and head to the car.

    US Stock Markets Seen Closed Tuesday [Reuters]
    Hurricane Sandy, Live Updates [NYT]
    *Unless your job doesn’t involve trading, in which case we expect you to be up at 6 and carrying on with business as usual from you kitchen table.

    / Oct 29, 2012 at 1:37 PM

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