I LOVE A MAN WHO ENUMERATES

As you may have heard, bonuses were announced at Morgan Stanley last week and while some employees here and there did okay for themselves, for the most part, people were not pleased with the fact that pay was down, on average by 20-30 percent. In fact, many were downright distraught, particularly among those who received zeros. As these things tend to go, a bunch of people have suggested they’ll be taking their talents elsewhere, where they’ll be appreciated and, at the very least, have made a point of sighing audibly around the office to express their disappointment.  By now, though, hopefully everyone’s gotten everything out of their systems because one person who’s no longer interested in hearing it? James Gorman. The Morgan Stanley CEO appeared on Bloomberg TV this afternoon to get a few things off his chest and among them: 1) Those complaining should consider waking the fuck up 2) If you let money define your happiness, he feels sorry for you and 3) “If you are really unhappy, just leave.” Seriously, get the hell out here. Continue reading »

From 2002 to 2007, Citi raised $2.8 billion from clients to invest in a couple of fund series called MAT Finance LLC, which invested in municipal bonds and was eventually leveraged 8:1 and Falcon, which invested in mortgage debt. Despite the former being marketed as “an attractive alternative to a bond index” and the latter receiving an S&P rating “equivalent to safe, medium-term government bonds,” anyone who bet on the funds lost what might be characterized as “a metric ass-ton of their money.”

For exampe, the funds a team of brokers from Smith Barney put their clients in fell an impressive 80% to 97% from May 2007 to March 2008. Though Citi claims no foul play and offered to cover approximately one-eighth of clients’ losses, the SEC still felt the need to launch an investigation into whether or not the bank’s employees adequately disclosed the funds’ risks and/or mismanaged them. And apparently investors are still pretty miffed about the whole thing, which one broker, Michael Johnston, intuited by the response he got from one when suggesting a sweet buyback deal that would’ve translated to the client only losing 72% and promising not to sue Citi. Continue reading »