I mean

Tim...and on some occasions, "Kim"

You’re a married trader carrying on an affair with a receptionist who’s only seeing you because you’ve promised to leave your wife. She wants a committed relationship so she breaks it off with you and starts seeing a new man, one who’s not married. You’re the jealous type and not happy at all about this. You want to do something, but what? For the purposes of this scenario, it should be noted that on good days you’re a little nuts and on bad you are a full on psycho. Do you a) send her a few messages, lie to her and swear that this time, you’re really going to break it off with your wife? b) confront the guy and settle things mano y mano c) break into her apartment and trash the place, knowing full well she’ll assume it’s you and maybe be scared into taking you back or d) break into her apartment, trash the place but in such a way that those examining the scene would think that you were 1) a woman and 2) the piece on the side of the guy your girl just started seeing? If you’re Timothy Evans, you’d answer D, D, a thousand times D!

Evans, 47, is alleged to have broken into Juliette Shutes’ home and sprayed the words ‘whore,’ ‘slut’ and ‘cow’ on the walls. On one wall were the words: “I warned you – you bitch. You stole my boyfriend.”

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A couple weeks ago we mentioned the fact that Jamie Dimon would be Syracuse University’s commencement speaker this May. This was prior to the Orangemen being knocked out of the tournament and at the time we warned that as James Dimon only addressed champions, they’d best not fuck things up. As you know, that’s exactly what they did. And yet, being the big-hearted, strapping CEO he is, Dimon did not back out of the gig, figuring he’d fill his quota for charity cases for the year. This afternoon we received some interesting info. Namely that the “Cuse” is “concerned” about hosting Jamie. That’s right. THEY are worried about having HIM. Which, I don’t have to tell you, is pretty fucking galling. The only person who should be reevaluating this situation is JD. Why don’t you kids win something and then you can start “expressing your concerns.”

Subject: Message From Chancellor Nancy Cantor

April 9, 2010

Dear Students, Faculty and Staff,

As we approach commencement, there have been concerns expressed over the choice of Jamie Dimon, Chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase, as this year’s commencement speaker. In my experience, virtually every commencement speaker arouses a broad array of reactions, in line with the diversity of interests, opinions, and passions on a university campus, though I understand that in this economic climate the concerns may be especially acute.

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