DB CooperMarcus Schrenker was arraigned today and quickly pleaded “not guilty” to the charges of intentionally destroying an aircraft and faking a distress call. His public defender (wow that sucks), obviously reacting to the “not guilty” plea, has indicated that he has “reasonable cause” to believe Schrenker is suffering from a mental condition. (We are guessing acute Gottagetawayfromthiscastratingbitchwiththecashitis, but the situation is fluid).
Pilot pleads not guilty in plane crash death hoax [CNN]
Icon Wealth Management
The Post gives us this tantalizing hint on the possible status of Marcus Mistress Kelly Baker describing the days and moments before his last fateful flight:
Days before he tried to fake his death in a bizarre plane crash, accused swindler Marcus Schrenker pulled another brazen stunt – whisking his mistress away for a New Year’s Eve tryst in Florida as authorities raided his wife’s Indiana home.
The rogue investment manager, 38, flew girlfriend Kelly Baker, 31, to Key West….
She and Schrenker flew back home New Year’s Day and are seen in the videotape lounging at a table in the airport lobby.
“She was sick – probably from the night before,” said a source who saw the couple’s return.
[...]
Video footage shows [Schrenker] calmly loading and checking his plane, and doing doughnuts on the snowy airfield in a pickup truck before takeoff.
On The Wings Of Lust [New York Post]
“Ok, let’s see. Emergency. Emergency. Something that would make me just keep flying like… like on… autopilot. Yes. Autopilot. Why would I put the autopilot on. Hmmm. Weather? Mile high club? Heh heh heh. Hmmm. Damaged aircraft? Damaged aircraft that I can’t see out of. Damaged… window? Damaged windscreen. Jacksonville Center, November 428 Delta Charlie, my face has exploded and my windscreen is bleeding massively. No… no, that’s not it. Jacksonville Center, my windscreen has exploded and I’m bleeding horribly. No… sounds to… ghoulish. I need it to be professional. I’m being recorded. This will be in the history books, my last words. It has to sound… like I’m still in command going down fighting. A hero to the last. My windscreen is broken and I… no. Windscreens don’t explode, or just break they… implode. Imploded. My windscreen has imploded. Jacksonville Center, November 428 Delta Charlie, my windscreen has imploded and… hmmmm. And… and I’m bleeding… how am I bleeding? Glass… everywhere. Cut… jugular. What’s the word? Prolifically? Protagonist? Pro… fusely. Profusely. Jacksonville Center, November 428 Delta Charlie, my windscreen has imploded and I’m bleeding profusely. Yes… yes… that’s it.”
“What in the world are you doing in there?”
“Nothing!”
“You know, I can’t find the map book anywhere and your wife’s attorney was calling earlier and… hey, what happened?”
“Nothing. I just cut myself shaving, that’s all.”
…when rescuers reached his crashed aircraft, they found “evidence including a book of campsites in America missing its pages on Alabama and Florida, and a bullet-point list scribbled on the back of a book that read: ‘cracked windshield, window imploded, bleeding profusely’.”
Fake plane death businessman left SOS bullet-point list [The Register]
Everyone’s favorite DB Cooper wannabe apparently emailed a friend, and author of atGeist.com, Tom Britt, to plead his innocence:
Britt said Schrenker claimed in the e-mail that he had done nothing wrong and detailed the moments before he bailed from the plane.
“He said he panicked. He blacked out. He was disoriented when he landed. He was trying to explain to me his side of the story,” Britt said.
We totally understand. That’s a very traumatic experience you went through, Marcus.
CNN reports some other interesting details:
Though his state license to operate as a compensated financial adviser was revoked December 31st when his firm was raided, that didn’t stop him from supposedly working through January 5th.
His wife filed for divorce the day before the raid. (Hmmmm! We need to put this girl and Andy Madoff’s wife together and build a fund around them. Talk about timing!)
Marcus was “disturbed” by what he was reading on CNN and Britt’s website (Your Blackberry is going to give you away, Marcus! Don’t do this to us. We voted for ‘Marcus Flies Free Forever’) and wanted to set the record straight. (From Mexico, one assumes).
A judge has issued an arrest warrant and set $4 million in bail. (That seems low to us, but it was in Indiana, after all).
We are no experts on Indiana law, but might be propose this:
1. Despondent from your wife’s bitter and seditious betrayal (that whore!) and the recent death of your father, you decided to take a nice, relaxing flight and do some late night canoeing. You figured you’d fly down to Florida, drop the plane off and join your friends up in Alabama for some Deliverance/Southern Comfort action. We understand. Really. No need to explain, we’ve seen the family pictures, the upside-down mousepad. We know all the secret codes.
2. Somewhere over Alabama, a can of warm seltzer water exploded. The sound is remarkably like a catastrophic windscreen failure, you know. (Try it!)
3. Convinced that you have been sprayed with glass, and mistaking the warm seltzer water for blood, your eyes stinging and panic setting in, you did the only reasonable thing- what any pilot would do in the same circumstance: you activated the autopilot. How it got set for 2,000 feet, you will never know.
4. Realizing that you were actually close to your Alabama destination, and that landing would be impossible with your badly damaged eyes anyhow, you pulled out the parachute you always keep on board, just in case.
How To Properly Escape Capture Following Your Massive (or Relatively Massive) Financial Fraud: A Dealbreaker Guide:
By Equity Private
Disappointed by the alarming dearth of intelligence in the modern criminal mind, and with the eventual goal of providing more interesting and alluring white-collar crime mysteries for our readers, we have developed this guide in order to give the modern financial thief a fighting chance at remaining “at large” for at least 60-90 days after consummating a significant fraud.
We at Dealbreaker are dedicated to the preservation of entertaining white-collar crime stories. This seems the most effective way to increase their number.
Below you will find a series of financial crime cover-up “Do’s” and “Don’ts.” Obviously, however, we frown on unethical behavior in any form, and you should always consult your professional financial, legal and tax advisers before embarking on a multi-year flight from justice.
Do: Prepare your escape well before your imminent discovery.
There is nothing worse than trying to plan the many tiers of logistics that are required to effectuate a decent escape and prepare a livable fugitive lifestyle while under time pressure. Rushing things tends to create transparent plans, needlessly involves co-conspirators and makes for bad decision making. (Parking your SUV in the field of view of a video camera when pretending to jump from a local bridge famous for suicide attempts, for instance). Time will permit you to disable the relevant cameras before the attempt, or select a proper location without such perfect coverage.
Don’t: Lose your cool in the face of time pressure if your plans go awry, or if you failed to make any plans or anticipate your imminent discovery.
Ok, we were wrong: There is something worse than trying to plan the many tiers of logistics that are required to effectuate a decent escape, like voluntarily having a conversation with a policeman an hour after you declared an in-air emergency and faked your own death and, in the course of that conversation, handing over your real driver’s license. This is panic-driven behavior. Not to rub it in, but if you had worked on the time part, you’d be better off. Since you didn’t, however, keeping your cool is pretty essential. If you aren’t up for that, well, perhaps you should have concentrated on HVAC work?
Do: Lose the wife/girlfriend/boyfriend. Period. Seriously. No, seriously.
You aren’t doing her a favor by including her in your plans and forcing upon her the choice of either being a co-conspirator, an accessory before the fact, and probably after the fact, or keeping silent and facing significant prosecutorial pressure to turn on you (which will eventually prevail- how exactly do you think she will handle the asset freeze?), or turning you in right after you walk out the door. Besides, once you hit the beach in Venezuela, she’s going to look a lot older, and far less appealing in a swimsuit than you remembered- particularly compared to the local women. Plus, you will face the burden of owing everything to her and that is simply not a weight that a woman like that is going to let a man forget. Ever. Never ever. The Saks Fifth Avenue in Caracas is no Saks Fifth Avenue at all. This alone should be reason to end all argument on this topic. You will likely prosper with the chance to begin again. She is assured not to. If you absolutely must include her in your plans (perhaps she was the firm’s CFO, will be able to cast serious doubt on your tragic death story, etc.) then make sure to conceal the body well before your arrival in Venezuela.
For all our readers lusting after Marcus and Michelle, after tireless after hours efforts, we’ve managed to score some video of the dynamic duo.
abouttheclient.mov (8mb Quicktime) – The duties of a CFO descriptions are priceless.
sleepatnight.mov (6mb Quicktime)
spendourdollars.mov (6mb Quicktime)
Earlier: Today’s Ponzi Trifecta Begins
Ok c’mon. Given that the watch (just revealed enough to identify what is supposed to be a super-premium aviation model), cuff, and sleeve are so perfectly coordinated, how exactly are we supposed to believe that the totally paperless and totally spotless desk (sound familiar Made-off fans?), the tidy volumes, the oh-so-casually missing tie, the family picture and the charts in the background are anything but contrived? Candid picture? We think not.
Oh, and Marc(us), a Dealbreaker reader noticed that your mousepad is upside-down. That cushion is for your wrist.
Then there’s this video, bearing the warning: This stunt shouldn’t be attempted by any pilot that wishes to stay alive.
Do your own in-depth analysis on the high-resolution original:
Marc Schrenker [atGeist]
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