Perhaps you have a spouse who you’ve just had it with. Or, a guy at work who sits twenty feet from you on the trading floor though you wouldn’t know it because when he audibly chews his food it’s like you’re inside his mouth. You can’t have them killed, you figure, but holy Christ if you have to see or hear them for one more second you’re just going to snap. Enter: a great idea. Next time they have to leave the country, get one of your influential friends with the Department of Homeland Security on the horn and have the offensive parties added to a list of terrorist suspects, like this guy did. They won’t be bothering you anymore. Continue reading »