Robert Buckhannon was doing just fine when he was (allegedly!) ripping investors off to the tune of $45 million. Now that he’s settled for adjusting spinal cords in Las Vegas and Battle Creek, Mich., things have been tougher, even before the prosecutors suggested he pony up 100,000 times what his lawyers say he’s got in the bank. Read more »
10. Leaves dishes in the sink.
9. Fills DVR with Diners, Drive Ins and Dives and “Save All Episodes” option
8. Brings back strange men he/she met on the corner 5 minutes earlier.
7. Is late with the rent.
6. Eats your food.
5. Leaves Post-it notes on the bathroom mirror that read “Should I deduct $0.75 from your portion of the rent for the shampoo you used this morning?”
4. Repeatedly asks you if your girlfriend is single.
3. Invites the cast of Stomp over for a nightcap when you’ve got a big presentation in the morning.
2. Tells your mother she looks great and asks if she’s had work done since she last visited.
1. Trades on material non-public information you mentioned in passing and in confidence. Read more »
Guess Which Of The ‘Largest Hedge Funds’ Are Getting An Especially Close Look In SEC Insider-Trading Probe?By Jon Shazar
Hint: One’s run by a hot-dog enthusiast and starts with a “P” and ends with an “oint72.” Read more »
If the previous odds of a considerable stay in jail didn’t deter you before… Read more »
Preet Bharara is a big-picture kind of guy. He’s won more than 80 insider-trading convictions. Sure, there’s the one that got away, mostly because the judge presiding was, in Preet’s considered opinion, a fucking idiot. And, sure, it hurt. Still does. But he’s not going to let that get him down. No. He’s going to start a new streak right now. Read more »
As you’ve probably heard, yesterday afternoon Mathew Martoma née Thomas was sentenced to 9 years in prison for orchestrating “the most lucrative insider trading scheme ever” during his time at SAC Capital. Understandably upset and perhaps having also read the civil complaint in which their son’s boss was identified as “Portfolio Manager A,” mom and dad had this to say:
Speaking on the sidewalk outside the old federal courthouse in Lower Manhattan, Mr. Martoma’s parents said he had been wrongly convicted. The couple asked why Mr. Martoma’s former boss, Steven A. Cohen, the billionaire investor who founded SAC, was not also charged with insider trading if their son had done something wrong.
“…the man who made all the money is on a yacht, my son is going to jail.”
While there is obviously a touch of bias involved here, these statements seem relatively reasonable, whereas the arguments offered for why Martoma/Thomas was found guilty… Read more »
Mathew Martoma, he of the “most lucrative insider-trading scheme in history” Martomas, is going to jail for a while, though for less time than the government wanted. Read more »
Despite his lawyer’s arguments that 1) The government’s key witness can’t be trusted and 2) That whole business with the fake Harvard Law transcripts made him look bad in the eyes of the jury. Read more »