is this real life?

  • point72

    News

    Steve Cohen Introduces Incentive Bonus For Employees Who Refrain From Insider Trading (No, Really, This Is Actually Happening)

    Time was, the unofficial policy at (the hedge fund formerly known as) SAC Capital was that one could earn a pretty penny come bonus season if one made the firm a ton of money, and if that money happened to be made through material non-public information well…whatyougonnado? At SAC Capital 2.0 AKA Point72 Asset Management, […]

    / Oct 9, 2014 at 8:30 AM
  • ubs

    News

    UBS Tried, And Failed, To Rig Hong Kong Interest Rate

    …which elicited an utterly delightful response from the bank that sounds a lot like something the parents of a juvenile delinquent would say if it came out that their kid tried to burn down a building but was too high to light the match.

    / Mar 14, 2014 at 4:11 PM
  • News

    Wedding After-Party Of Financial Services Couple Requires One Cop For Every One Guest*

    Which apparently wasn’t enough.

    / Oct 9, 2012 at 2:58 PM
  • News

    Live-Blogging The Jeffrey Gundlach Press Conference (UPDATE)

    4:00-4:05 Either people who have never taken part in a conference call are participating today and pressing buttons on their phone every five seconds or someone is thrusting someone else up against their office phone over and over and over again. 4:06 Gundlach is offering $1 million for information leading to the return of each […]

    / Sep 24, 2012 at 4:11 PM
  • News

    John Paulson Is The Most Resourceful Hedge Fund Manager In The World

    In a pinch, Steve Cohen has made himself a few zip-up fleece jackets with only a travel sewing kit and some Silly Putty at his disposal. Alone in the woods and miles from home, Ray Dalio has been known to fashion slingshots out of the remains of wildebeests. Having blown through all his 100-count packs already and not wanting to catch anything, George Soros has constructed condoms out of strips of bacon; old tea bags; and British pounds. According to Dealbook, however, today they must all bow down to the master.

    John Paulson, the billionaire hedge fund manager, will be forever known on Wall Street as the man who made nearly billions shorting subprime mortgages. But on Monday night at the United States Open men’s singles final, DealBook witnessed Mr. Paulson do something that, while not nearly as remunerative, was almost as impressive: He turned his necktie into an ascot…As the match wore on into the night, the temperatures dropped into the 50s and spectators grappled with how to stay warm. But Mr. Paulson, unable to avail himself of the U.S.T.A.-issued blanket and possibly reluctant to spend money on a Polo fleece, chose a different approach. Early in the fifth set, Mr. Paulson removed his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He then wrapped the tie around his neck and transformed it into an ascot, providing additional warmth for the duration of the match.

    Wall Street Sits Courtside For A Marathon Match [Dealbook]

    / Sep 11, 2012 at 6:19 PM

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