Jamie Dimon

  • News

    Dimon: Kerry Killinger is Full of It

    Jamie Dimon had some choice words for Washington Mutual chief Kerry Killinger on JPMorgan’s earnings call today. In short: JD, never one to mince words, disputed Killinger’s assertion at yesterday’s Congressional hearings that a special club of Wall Street execs got bailed out while WaMu got shafted. “I am unaware of any club,” Dimon said […]

    / Apr 14, 2010 at 4:01 PM
  • News

    Syracuse University Students Under The Impression Jamie Dimon Is Not Good Enough For THEM (Update)

    A couple weeks ago we mentioned the fact that Jamie Dimon would be Syracuse University’s commencement speaker this May. This was prior to the Orangemen being knocked out of the tournament and at the time we warned that as James Dimon only addressed champions, they’d best not fuck things up. As you know, that’s exactly […]

    / Apr 9, 2010 at 4:27 PM
  • News

    You Wanna Know What Gets Jamie Dimon’s Goat?

    If you said Washington you’re not wrong but that’s not the answer we were looking for. Yes, James is incredibly frustrated with the people in DC. Previously he’s tried to hold his tongue but no longer. He’s openly expressed concern about the various reform proposals and he recently told the President that the “administration’s anti-bank […]

    / Apr 7, 2010 at 10:45 AM
  • News

    Why Is Jamie Dimon The Most Dangerous Man In America?

    According to Simon Johnson, it’s because he runs a big bank and is smart. Obviously, though, there are many, many other reasons why JD is deserving of the title. In order to protect ourselves, the nation, and fuck, the entire planet, we need to identify the most serious now. Is it:

    / Apr 5, 2010 at 11:15 AM
  • News

    Lenny Dykstra Drops Case Against JPMorgan

    Less than two weeks ago, Lenny Dykstra filed a $100 million suit against JPMorgan née Washington Mutual, claiming it was the bank that caused Nails to lose millions due to “predatory lending” and it is Jamie Dimon who should be losing sleep at night over the fact that Nails lives in the back of a […]

    / Mar 30, 2010 at 5:14 PM
  • News, Private Equity

    Jamie Dimon’s Dream Of So You Think You Can Dance Domination Inching Closer To Reality

    In our last edition of “Things you thought you knew re: James Dimon but were in fact dead wrong about,” we told you that contrary to the belief of certain prosecutors, Dimon does not in fact have time to make bi-weekly runs to Atlanta, to dump used tires, illegally. Today it’s a matter of taste. […]

    / Mar 29, 2010 at 3:15 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Has A Message For Syracuse University

    Apparently it’s March Madness day on Dealbreaker and while I know basically nothing of the sport I do know these things to be true:

    / Mar 25, 2010 at 3:15 PM
  • News

    Lenny Dykstra Sues JPMorgan

    Those of you who’ve been keeping up with Nails’ Travails are well aware of the fact that his current financial situation? Is not fault of his own. There is someone to blame however, and that someone, LD has said many times, is JPMorgan. It is JPMorgan née Washington Mutual who caused Lenny to lose millions […]

    / Mar 17, 2010 at 5:15 PM
  • News

    Was It Dick Fuld’s Stupidity Or Flair For Fraud That ‘Cause Lehman To Bite The Big One?

    According to the examiner’s report, a little bit of both. (Since Anton Valukas apparently has no interest in telling both sides of the story, it falls on us to remind you that Dick has his own theory for why LEH went under: the adoption of Casual Friday). Fuld was warned months before the bankruptcy by […]

    / Mar 11, 2010 at 6:00 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon No Longer Wanted In Hotlanta

    As of Wednesday, Jamie Dimon couldn’t fly through Atlanta, because he was at risk of being arrested, for illegally dumping used tires, according to CBS news. Apparently, though, ha ha, it was just a bit of a mix up.

    / Feb 26, 2010 at 2:56 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Wanted In Hotlanta

    Jamie Dimon is the most-loved CEO on Wall Street. There’s no debating that. Obama loves him, the press loves him, tweens love him, we love him. He’s devastatingly charming, handsome, and smart. He’s got integrity oozing out of every orifice. He’s funny. Good at basketball. He can fix things around the house. The list goes […]

    / Feb 24, 2010 at 12:24 PM
  • News

    Jamie D’s Dinner Date

    Jamie Dimon is in DC today for a meeting of the Business Roundtable, but most importantly, Golden Boy will have yet another dinner tonight with Obama. He won’t be the only CEO at the table, but obviously he will be the only that really matters and the only one BHO will have eyes for.

    / Feb 23, 2010 at 12:09 PM
  • News

    Dick Bove: Bravo, Jamie Dimon

    Bove has a newfound love interest: Jamie D. and we hope this will help him heal the Ken Lewis wounds. In a report today, Dick praises JP Morgan’s acquisition of some of RBS Sempra’s assets, not only because it makes sense business-wise, but mostly because it shows Jamie’s guts and manhood. I believe that Mr. […]

    / Feb 16, 2010 at 12:49 PM
  • News

    JPM: Don’t Worry About The Snow, You Can Spend The Night

    JPMorgan just sent out a memo to employees notifying them that in the event the snowpocalypse is really bad, they can reserve cots to stay over. And if they run out, Jamie Dimon will be happy to take people into his home, located not far from headquarters. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OFFER.

    / Feb 9, 2010 at 5:42 PM
  • News

    Jamie’s Number Is In, What’s Lloyd’s Next Move?

    After much wait and speculation, Jamie Dimon’s bonus number is in: golden boy took $16 million in bonus- half in restricted shares and half in options. We’re told that Goldman was going to wait for the three-day weekend next Friday to make the big announcement and try to bury the news, but that may be […]

    / Feb 5, 2010 at 11:32 AM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’10: Jamie To Get His Number Next Week

    As you might’ve heard, the world is waiting with bated breath for the announcement of Lloyd Blankfein’s bonus. It could come soon. Or never. Earlier reports claimed that JPM was waiting to hear what Lloyd would get, and gauging the reaction to it, before deciding Jamie D’s take-home, though we’re told that’s not the case.

    / Feb 4, 2010 at 3:36 PM
  • News

    JPMorgan Setting Aside Smaller Percentage Of Revenue For Compensation This Year

    JPM will be paying $9.3 billion in comp and benefits for investment banking employees ($378,600-ish/each) for ’09. That’s 33 percent of the division’s revenue, which Bloomberg notes is way less than the 62% in 2008 and “the lowest proportion allocated for pay since JPMorgan merged with Bank One Corp. in 2004.” So don’t even entertain […]

    / Jan 15, 2010 at 1:29 PM
  • News

    Live-Blogging The Bankers

    9:07 Why does Mack look huge? 9:09 Blankfein: Goldman Sachs was started in 1869 by a guy named Marcus Goldman. Today, we may or may not employ a guy related by blood to Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. 9:11 Blankfein: “size matters.” (Sheryl Weinstein nods gravely while watching from home.) 9:16 FYI, Goldman was profitable in […]

    / Jan 13, 2010 at 9:07 AM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Has Had It With The Bonus Bashing

    The boy toy CEO says enough is enough. Get a hobby, and get off his people’s asses. I think we can do this for him, right? Don’t be a jerk, Vikram. “We do not have change-of-control agreements, special executive retirement plans, golden parachutes, special severance packages or merger bonuses,” Dimon told a JP Morgan healthcare […]

    / Jan 12, 2010 at 11:53 AM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon: The Puppy Dog, High School Soccer Team, Macking It Years

    Jamie with the Dimon family sheltie, Chippy. [Last Man Standing via BusinessInsider]

    / Dec 15, 2009 at 11:36 AM
  • News

    The 25 Most Powerful Men In Finance: Only Includes Four Goldman Sachs Employees?

    According to Institutional Investor, yes (Lloyd Blankfein, Gary Cohn, David Heller, and Richard Friedman, who the magazine insinuates has some job security in the fact that his wife is a gal-pal of Laura Blankfein). Also included, Jamie Dimon, obviously, who beats out LB for slot number one, Bob Diamond (4), Brady Dougan (5; really?), Tom […]

    / Dec 15, 2009 at 10:40 AM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Hasn’t Jammed In Over A Year

    So last week I happened to run into Jamie Dimon and yadda yadda yadda I just wanted to tell you guys that one of the seriously upsetting consequences of the financial crisis has been the toll taken on JD’s music career.

    / Dec 14, 2009 at 5:03 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Awarded Dubious Honor

    American Banker has named Jamie Dimon the Banker of the Year, for obvious reasons. They include: running a bank that didn’t have its ass handed to it, being Obama’s favorite, allowing employees to celebrate the birth of Christ/awkwardly grope each other, general hotness, and not being the guy running the firm where they fertilize eggs […]

    / Dec 8, 2009 at 10:55 AM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Thinks His $1.9 Billion Is Worth WaMu’s $4 Billion

    You might think JPMorgan Chase got everything in the Washington Mutual deal, which briefly accomplished the impossible by doubling the number of Chase branches in New York City. But the wily Jamie Dimon isn’t finished: He wants WaMu to pay him for the pleasure of owning their crappy bank. JPMorgan and the “carcass” of WaMu’s […]

    / Dec 1, 2009 at 10:40 AM
  • News

    What Should Tim Geithner’s Next Job Be?

    It’s not clear that he’s going anywhere any time soon though Dick Bové has already stamped her seal of approval on Jamie Dimon’s nomination for the Treasury Secretary’s replacement. But, the analyst cautioned, while JD is hands down the best man for the job,* and Obama wouldn’t be out of line simply locking TG out […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 11:46 AM
  • News

    When And How Will Tim Geithner Leave Office?

    The Post reported today that Jamie Dimon’s name has continued to come up in Washington as a possible replacement for Tim Geithner. This isn’t very shocking, as Jamie Dimon was considered a candidate for the job before TG was nominated, and consistently over the course of the year. Plus, he’s Obama’s favorite banker and so […]

    / Nov 23, 2009 at 1:29 PM
  • News

    Comp Watch ’09: JPMorgan

    Per a firm-wide email from John Donnelly (global head of HR): “Last year…We put a salary freeze in place for all employees earning above $60,000…We now plan to lift that salary freeze globally as part of our year end performance and compensation review process, with raises effective early next year.” (And 401k matching is back.) […]

    / Nov 9, 2009 at 10:01 AM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon: THE HIGH SCHOOL YEARS

    Photos from Jamie Dimon’s yearbook at the Browning School have surfaced. While I sit here at my desk not knowing what to do with myself, you do your parts and fill in the standard: “The tie says [this], but the jean shirt/turtleneck/tie combo says [that].” There are more.

    / Oct 28, 2009 at 5:02 PM

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