According to a court filing by his soon-to-be ex-wife, Christina, Jefferies Global Head of Healthcare Sage Kelly (he of “I have never defecated or urinated in bed, on the floor or a wall“) allegedly “develope[d] and expand[ed] his relationship” with a principal at Aegerion Pharmaceuticals by having sex with the guy’s girlfriend and offering up his wife in exchange. Read more »
Some words you don’t often hear senior Wall Street execs say aloud are “I have never defecated or urinated in bed, on the floor or a wall.” And yet, Sage Kelly, Global Head of Healthcare Investment Banking at Jefferies, said exactly that in court papers this week, in response to allegations by his wife that he’s mistaken all of those places for a toilet, in addition to other stuff re: copious drug use, “foursomes,” and “wife-swapping.” Read more »
Fresh off the greatest Ice Bucket Challenge of all time, Richard Handler threw his clothes back on and raced to the office to put the finishing touches on Jefferies’ third-quarter results, which he expects you’ll be suitably impressed by. Read more »
Like all amazing movies, miniseries, other works of art, the clip of Richard Handler accepting and taking part in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is a slow burn to an amazing finish. Oh, to be sure, it starts out leaps and bounds ahead of any other videos of its kind: that is, in Handler’s penthouse bathroom, in front of his jacuzzi. It’s just that at every turn, it gets exponentially better, in ways you can’t imagine, ’til you’re at the end and saying to yourself, “This is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.” Obviously, this must be watched in full, many times over the course of the day and possibly on loop and in place of whatever your firm is showing in TVs throughout the building. But, if we might, here are our favorite moments:
:01: We’re in Richard Handler’s bathroom. Why is that? Most of the head honchos taking part in this challenge (Marissa Mayer, senior execs at JP Morgan, etc) take the plunge on the street in front of their company or in someone’s backyard. No matter, here we are, in Richard Handler’s bathroom.
:05: Handler is narrating this video in his boxers and an old tee-shirt.
:12: He lays out the rules, we’re still in his bathroom.
:56: He nominates Carl Icahn to take the challenge, and Icahn’s wife to dump the ice (Icahn later takes to Twitter to say he’s too god damn busy.)
1:15: He starts ripping open plastic bags of ice and dumping them into the tub. It takes a while, because, again, he’s doing the challenge 1) in a jacuzzi and 2) in a jacuzzi that looks like it can seat 7. “It’s a lotta ice,” he tells the camera.
2:02: Even though he just dumped 8 or 9 bags of ice into the tub, he dumps a hotel-style wicker ice bucket into the bath, just for good measure. Read more »
Last year, a li’l investment bank that could called Jefferies paid out bonuses comprised entirely of cash. This proved pretty popular, so this year, CEO Dick Handler has decided to do it again. Read more »
Judge Rules Jefferies Should’ve Just Chilled After Senior Equities Exec Sent Around Video Depicting Jamie Dimon As HitlerBy Bess Levin
Jefferies Group LLC wrongfully fired its former Asia head of equity trading Grant Williams over a newsletter that included a reference to a Hitler parody video, a Hong Kong judge ruled. Williams drafted a newsletter to subscribers which included a link to a video clip depicting Adolf Hitler, with subtitles created by a U.S. filmmaker that mocked JPMorgan Chase & Co. Chairman and CEO Jamie Dimon. The newsletter was released prematurely and Jefferies fired Williams the next day for unacceptable and inappropriate conduct, according to the judge. Jefferies management was “hypersensitive” and “irrational,” in its response to the publication of the Dec. 7, 2010 client newsletter, Judge Conrad Seagroatt said in issuing his decision today in Hong Kong’s High Court…The YouTube Inc. parody video clip uses a scene from the 2004 German movie “Downfall” showing Hitler screaming at his subordinates at the end of the war. Subtitles suggested Hitler’s character was Dimon, speaking in the context of bets on the price of silver. [Bloomberg]