Ethan Roberts knows about mackerel discipline first hand. Mr. Roberts, who was released in 2007 after serving eight years on a methamphetamine charge at prisons including the La Tuna Federal Correctional Institution in Texas, says he got busted for various piscine transactions. “I paid gambling debts” with mackerel, he says. “One time I bought cigarettes for a friend who was in the hole.”
Honestly, we never cared much either way about massage enthusiast/Bear Stearns investor Jeff Epstein but we’re starting to love The Ladies Man who, according to Page Six, has been spending his incarcerated days “at the [prison] library e-mailing various models he befriended in New York, sending them boxes of chocolates and promising them career help.” No sense wasting time getting back in the saddle. We Hear [NYP]
What is it that convicted sex-criminal Jeffrey Epstein does? We mean apart from pay very young women for sexually charged massages? What is it he does for his clients? The New York Times sent business reporter Landon Thomas all the way to Epstein’s estate in St. Thomas to find out. (Tough assignment, that.) But Thomas came up with only vague hints.
If you’re like us, you spent last weekend (and the yeast-less days following) being plagued by the fear that, for various reasons, Jeff Epstein hadn’t been invited into anyone’s home for Passover. Blissfully, that concern was put to rest today. The Post reports that the massage enthusiast has been in Israel since Saturday to celebrate the holiday. (It is unclear how extensively traditional the Seders he attended were, though all accounts note several rousing, no holds barred games of find the afikomen in my pants with the harem of Bat Mitzvah-aged women he had in tow). Epstein is apparently also “meeting with Israeli scientists about medical research he’s funding and taking a tour of military bases with [Friends of Israel chairman] Benny Shabtai.” RE paying men, women and children to stand around awkwardly on several occasions while he jerked off into a towel, Epstein’s representative would like every to note that “the alleged victims have all acknowledged they lied about their age.” They all said they were they were 30, and they looked 35. Epstein would’ve called bull shit, but he respects the ladies. Just Visiting [Page Six]