Jesus Christ

An automated e-mail reply from the Bank of America Corp. account of Rurik Jutting yesterday said he was out of the office “indefinitely” and recommended contacting someone who’s not “an insane psychopath.” Calls to the work and mobile phones of Jutting weren’t answered yesterday outside of office hours, and Paul Scanlon, a spokesman for Bank of America in Hong Kong, declined to comment when contacted by Bloomberg News. A Rurik Jutting who is 29 and until recently worked for Bank of America has been named by the South China Morning Post, the U.K.’s Telegraph newspaper and Sky News as the suspect in the murder of two women in Hong Kong’s Wan Chai district…The automated reply also said: “For escalation please contact God, though suspect the devil will have custody. [Last line only really worked if I had followed through..]” [Bloomberg]

  • 19 Nov 2013 at 4:10 PM

Reverend Who Put A Hex On JP Morgan Needs Your Help

Back in October, a man who goes by the name of Reverend Billy, AKA Bill Talen, appeared at JP Morgan to protest the bank’s financing of “mountaintop removal, dirty coal, fracking, and other types of fossil fuel extraction.” He did so by entering the building, along with members of his Stop Shopping choir who were dressed as frogs, heading up to the third floor (where wealth management offices are located), and belting out a tune on the subject. The Reverend delivered a sermon about JP Morgan’s role in climate change (via its investments), and his flock passed out informational pamphlets to clients and employees. They exited stage left and shortly thereafter, Billy and his choir director were arrested while waiting for the F train.

This was not the first time Reverend Billy publicly took issue with what JP Morgan does with its money (in June 2010 he put a “holy hex” on the bank), nor was it a first time a man of the cloth paid a visit to the House of Dimon (in March 2011, a church group led by one “Bishop Cush” performed an exorcism on the steps of 270 Park Avenue, sprinkling holy water on the building in an effort to “chase the demons out of Chase”).

But something about this particular exercise struck a chord and now, the Reverend is facing up to 1 year in prison. That’s where you come in. Read more »

In the summer of 2009, Jessica Mang, far left, met an investment banker named Thomas Ammann at a nightclub in London. Both liked what they saw and started seeing each other “at least once a week,” on days he wasn’t with his other girlfriend, Christina Weckwerth. Things were going well, but by November, Mang wanted more. So when Ammann said he was going to take her on a romantic getaway to Seychelles, and all she had to do first was use her own money to trade on material non-public information he’d obtained from his job at Mizuho International about Canon’s purchase of OCE NV and then give him half the profits, she jumped at the chance. Not only did he want to go away with her (huge!) but he was entrusting her with such an important project (huger!); Mang had read all the dating books and knew that if a guy asked you to violate securities laws, it meant things were getting serious. Read more »