Why is everyone acting like that’s so awkward? Why is Becky turning bright red? Why is Andrew wishing there were a trap door under his chair? Why is the other guest looking at Woody Johnson like “Wow…” Oh, well just excuse the hell out of me. No, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we couldn’t ask the questions that everyone is thinking. No, no, it’s fine, I’ll just awkwardly change the subject by complimenting Woody’s tie and maybe in the future Dr. J takes his completely reasonable queries elsewhere. Read more »

  • 12 May 2011 at 3:40 PM

Live-Blogging The Rex Ryan SALT Lunch

[Music playing while we wait includes “You Give Love A Bad Name” and “Livin’ On A Prayer”]

12:45 Guy introducing Rex sees lots of similarities between the Jets coach and George W. Bush (who spoke last night): both are “winners, blunt passionate, and couldn’t care if the things they say might have consequences.”

12:50 Rex is happy to be here though, he must admit, doesn’t know anything about derivatives…”buy low, sell high, that’s all I’ve got” Read more »

Her mom. Read more »

Given that they’re probably not speaking at the moment, the Jets quarterback most likely did not propose to Eliza Kruger, the 17 year-old daughter of Greenwich Capital founder Konrad Kruger, who recently discussed bedding Sanchez and his clinginess afterward with the press. But I still have my fingers crossed and I’d like you to do the same that the band appearing on Eliza’s ring finger in a recent photograph is from Sancho, hoping to get an investing gig with Papa Kruger after retirement. Read more »

As you may have heard, speculation is mounting that New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan and his wife have starred in some foot fetish movies that can be found on the internet. In addition to forensic evidence that seems to point to the couple’s involvement in the foot appreciation flick (the woman’s resemblance to Michelle Ryan is uncanny, the voice of the guy off-screen sounds like Rex, the profile user “ihaveprettyfeet” can also be found on an online dating site where her location is the same Maryland city MR lived in when her husband was an assistant coach with the Ravens, the biographical information listed for “ihaveprettyfeet” matches that of Mrs. Ryan, as does the height differential between “ihpf” and her spouse to that of the Ryans), the fact that a Jets spokesman’s comment to the press was “This is a personal matter,” seems to indicate the Ryans may really love feet and the idea of people watching them love their feet. Think this story doesn’t impact your life? THINK AGAIN! Read more »

Hey Patriots fans– have you seen a guy walking his Maltese around Boston lately on a Jets leash? No? Well take a little fucking notice, because he’s doing it for YOU. So get angry, god damn it. Come up to him and punch in the face or something. Seriously, he wants you to.

Pete Mulieri is an ex-New Yorker and now a stockbroker at Investment Technology Group in Boston, who walks his dog on a New York Jets leash and wears a Jets jersey to provoke New England Patriots fans.“I do rub it in,” said Mulieri, 52.

The leash and Jersey taunting, of course, is just part of Mulieri’s attack. Read more »

After his 2005 career-ending concussion, Wayne Chrebet knew he needed some diversion to stay busy. He invested in racehorses, opened a restaurant in Hempstead, NY called “Bar Social,” and picked up boxing. Still, though, he felt like something was missing. Wayne needed some occupational passion in his life, and he also needed to avoid his wife, who was considering murdering him.

“She told me, ‘You’ve got to get out of the house or we’re going to get divorced,'” Mr. Chrebet said. “We got to the point during those first couple years where we were going to 10 a.m. movies and stuff. And we were like, ‘This is stupid.’ We’d just look at each other.”

Before he was forced to retire from football, he’d taken a liking to managing his own money, become a “self-professed CNBC junkie” and dabbled in advising his teammates in how to maximize their coin. So he figured, maybe I should get a job on Wall Street? And as luck would have it, he’d recently killed Morgan Stanley VP Ed Moldaver during a couple poker games at the local country club. Moldaver was so impressed with Chrebs that he offered him a gig, where he currently works on a 6-man wealth management team, mostly “meeting with potential clients and determining whether his group is a good fit for them” while leaving the stock and bond picking to “the professionals.” He loves the new career and takes it “very seriously,” though it’s not just dicking around and at times can be brutal. In fact, he almost didn’t even make it. Read more »