Want to make a difference in the life of an economically disadvantaged ex-bank chief? As some of you may recall, the collapse of Bear Stearns in March 2008 made a serious dent in former Chairman and CEO Jimmy Cayne’s net worth, shrinking $1 billion and leaving him with a net worth of mere millions. For a boy who was once in a position to buy anything his heart desired (90210 Kush, Grand Daddy Purple, Blueberry YumYum, Alaskan Thunderfuck, Lavender Hash, Northern Lights #5), it’s meant a seismic change in Cayne’s lifestyle. For example, JC can no longer justify the cost of the 10-week sleepaway bridge camp he’s attended every summer for the last 18 years. That’s where you come in. Read more »
I will sell this house today
“’They’re jealous,’” former Bear Stearns CEO Jimmy Cayne says about Dimon’s critics, in a rare interview since JPMorgan bought the foundering investment bank in March 2008. “’They’re looking at themselves as being unfortunate and being underpaid and being underappreciated, and if there’s a piñata out there to take a swipe at, who better than somebody who’s got everything that they don’t?’” [BusinessWeek]
When Bear Stearns went down for the dirt nap three years ago to the day (more on the anniversary later), many people assumed having the firm listed as a one-time employer on the résumé would be the equivalent of pulling a Merrill, i.e. it would make you categorically unemployable. Apparently these people had never heard of a guy named John Meriweather who, despite being forced to sign up investors for his latest fund down at the dog track, is proof positive that you can blow it or work for a place that (spectacularly) blows it and it will in no way affect your future prospects. According to Bloomberg and former BSC chairman Ace Greenberg, most Bear execs have “landed on their feet.” Read more »
For all you billionaire money managers out there wondering, is there a life after being labeled a sex offender in the eyes of the law, Jeffrey Epstein is here to prove the answer is yes.
Epstein, he of the Underage Massage Appreciation Society, has been hard at work on a new project: a blog called Jeffrey Epstein’s Profiles In Science. It is here, for some reason, that Epstein conducts interviews with various leaders in the field, muses on evolutionary biology, offers tutorials on theoretical physics, and shares party pics of him barbecuing with Stephen Hawking. There’s also a “testimonials” page, where noted leaders are to offer praise for Epstein’s mind and while so far it only has a single entry, it’s unlikely to be topped. Read more »
Jimmy Cayne Pleased To Hear Word Of Ex-Bear Co-President Warren Spector’s Possible Love Of Obama/DudesBy Bess Levin
As you may have heard, Charlie Gasparino’s latest book is out October 5. It’s called “Bought And Paid For: The Unholy Alliance Between Barack Obama and Wall Street.” As you may have also heard, Jimmy Cayne is a major fan of describing every one of his opponents as a homosexual. The former Bear Stearns CEO told William Cohan Tim Geithner was a glorified gay office clerk and he described the lawyer of an an investor who sued Bear Stearns in 1996 for negligence and a breach of fiduciary duty as “a 300-pound fag from Long Island,” who Cayne confronted in the bathroom of the courthouse, while he was taking a piss, by saying “Today you’re going to get your ass kicked, big” (the attorney ran out of the room, confirming JC’s suspicions he was a fairy boy). Where does “the unholy alliance between Barack Obama and Wall Street” and conservative Jimmy Cayne’s interest in what other men do with their dicks converge? In Charlie Gasparino’s fourth contribution to literature and understanding, of course. Read more »
Ace Greenberg Doesn’t Take Any Of The Adminstration’s Anti-Wall Street Sentiment Personally, Thinks Everyone Should Chill About Europe, Has His Reasons For Not Meeting With Jimmy CayneBy Bess Levin
Why wouldn’t the magician, philosopher, former Chairman of Bear Stearns and former friend o’ Jimmy not want to see his old pal, who he hasn’t spoken to since Bear was sold to JPMorgan (where Greenberg took a gig, while JC chose to spend his time perfecting the perfect panini to eat whilst baked)? According to a new interview with AG, it involves a desire to avoid stepping in shit. Also, Cayne impugned on the dignity of magicians.
IDD: If you ran into [Cayne], what would you say to him?
Greenberg: I would not like to step in horses—. So why would I stand around him? He’s a lying f—. Some of those lies in “House of Cards.” Lies about my wife — how could he bring my wife in that? How could he do that? He’s just a miserable, unhappy person…He said in the book, I understand, that when it came time for bonuses, I called the key men in and threw their bonuses on the floor and made them get on the floor and pick up their bonuses. Does that sound like me, really? Is that how you build a firm? A guy doing magic tricks, would he do that? Read more »
Live-Blogging Cruel And Unusual Punishment: Cayne Dragged Before Meaningless Hearing On Second Favorite Day Of The YearBy Bess Levin
12:12 This thing is set to get underway in a few minutes. While we wait, I have a ton of items on the “wish-list” but beyond the obvious, I really, really want him to act like a stoned 17 year old who just got busted. “I know my rights, man.” “I’ve read the constitution.”
12:30: Alan Schwartz maintains that Bear was awash– nay, drowning– in liquidity days before it went down for the dirt nap.
12:32: Jim concedes, “in retrospect, in hindsight, leverage was a bit too high.”
12:41: Angelides: Could you have done anything to prevent that weekend in March?
Cayne: Nothing. There was nothing that could have been done. We were taken down by hedge funds. Bear Stearns [and these words seriously just exited JC's mouth] “was a big fat goose walking down the lane that’s about to be eaten up by competitors.”
Angelides: You were in Detroit that weekend, right? At a bridge tournament?
Cayne: That’s correct. Read more »