jokes

That way, the next time the Argentine economy minister/negotiator extraordinaire gets huffy about why Barack Obama doesn’t just fire U.S. District Judge Thomas Griesa, or take a page from a previous Argentine regime and make him disappear or something, he can just look “separation of powers” up in the index and turn to the relevant page. We recommend dog-earing it. Read more »

The venture capitalist will allow that when he compared progressive politics to Kristallnacht, he may have exaggerated slightly: He knows the 1% will not literally go extinct, for mathematical if for no other reasons. But just in case, he’s come up with a plan that will keep them protected. Read more »

Goldman Sachs emerged from the financial crisis as the whipping boy of Wall Street. But on Monday evening, the firm’s chief executive, Lloyd C. Blankfein, was feted like a king. Or perhaps like a rabbi. “Lloyd, I’d like to welcome you to your second bar mitzvah,” David K. Wassong, the co-head of private equity at Soros Fund Management, said at the annual Wall Street Dinner sponsored by the UJA-Federation of New York, a charitable organization focused on Jewish philanthropy. “The only difference is that tonight the money goes to UJA.” […] For Mr. Blankfein and Gary D. Cohn, the No. 2 at Goldman, the evening reflected the firm’s prominent position on Wall Street and the public relations recovery it has undertaken since the crisis. One financial analyst, Michael Mayo, approached Mr. Cohn after the event and jokingly suggested that the folks at Goldman should send a Hanukkah present to Jamie Dimon, the chief executive of JPMorgan Chase, a bank that has recently fallen from favor in Washington after a number of run-ins with regulators. Mr. Cohn smiled at the suggestion. “I have a joke about that,” he said. But with a reporter present, he declined to tell it. [Dealbook]


[via @BretEastonEllis]

Earlier today, former CR Intrinsic employee Mathew Martoma made an appearance in federal court re: the matter of his being charged with insider trading during his time with the SAC Capital unit. The hearing was merely to set the terms his bail– lenient enough that they allow him to travel throughout Massachusetts, New Jersey, Florida, and parts of New York, though not so generous so as to allow for visits with old friends in the Nutmeg State– with a follow up meeting with the Judge James Cott set for December 26th. Joining Mathew at the courthouse today was his wife, Rosemary, and while we expected brave faces and a united front from the couple, we didn’t expect smiles and jokes for the cheap seats. Read more »

  • 01 Oct 2012 at 4:34 PM

Tim Geithner To Finally Be Set Free?

“President Barack Obama’s senior advisers are confident Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner will remain in his job even though he hasn’t made his intentions public, an administration official said. Geithner met recently with Vice President Joe Biden and laid out his reasons for wanting to leave the post. Biden outlined why it was vital that Geithner remain, said the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because no announcement has been made.”-Bloomberg, August 5, 2011

“Mr. Obama and his chief of staff, William M. Daley, have been urging Mr. Geithner to stay, administration officials say, not only for continuity when the economy has weakened and to avoid an all-but-certain confirmation fight in the Senate over a successor, but also because Mr. Obama has developed a close rapport with Mr. Geithner…Especially in recent weeks, the issue has become a running joke, officials say: Mr. Geithner and Mr. Daley tease about the ankle bracelet that the White House makes him wear, or Mr. Geithner asks if Mr. Daley has yet read his resignation letter, to which Mr. Daley answers in unprintable language.”- New York Times, August 3, 2011 Read more »

Investors gave Bernie Madoff money because they trusted him. They gave Sam Israel money because they liked him—a gregarious, disarming goofball who, as a Wall Street apprentice, had invented an alter ego he called Captain Proton, a fearless superhero whose special powers were granted by vodka and cocaine. Now in his forties, he lived in a Westchester mansion, rented from Donald Trump for $22,000 a month, with an adjacent chapel in which he had built a replica of the Bayou trading floor alongside an 800-­gallon saltwater fish tank and a menagerie of rare reptiles. He’d also installed a high-end studio for jam sessions, where he’d play with the Allman Brothers’ drummer when the band was in town. He owned a fleet of Porsches and signed personal checks printed with the image of SpongeBob SquarePants…Once he’d welcomed his family home from a short trip standing in the driveway wearing cowboy boots, his wife’s bikini underwear, a lacrosse helmet, swim goggles, a life jacket, and a cape, then started screaming at his wife when she didn’t get the joke. [NYM, related]