Tags: Brown Brothers Harriman, JPMorgan, McKinsey, pick me ups, rankings, science
Yes, the bank just agreed to pay $13 billion to settle only one of the many investigations into its practices. Yes, #AskJPM didn’t exactly go off as planned. Yes, the public outrage reserved for Goldman Sachs has all but turned to 270 Park. Yes, the firm’s headquarters are visited regularly by an exorcist.
And yes, on the surface, all of that looks pretty bad. But none of it matters. Not when a dating website proclaims your (male) employees to be the 4th hottest in New York based on the results of a study that real science went into it doesn’t. Read more »
Tags: a holy hex, Church of Stop Shopping, Jesus Christ, JPMorgan, petitions, protests, Reverend Billy
Back in October, a man who goes by the name of Reverend Billy, AKA Bill Talen, appeared at JP Morgan to protest the bank’s financing of “mountaintop removal, dirty coal, fracking, and other types of fossil fuel extraction.” He did so by entering the building, along with members of his Stop Shopping choir who were dressed as frogs, heading up to the third floor (where wealth management offices are located), and belting out a tune on the subject. The Reverend delivered a sermon about JP Morgan’s role in climate change (via its investments), and his flock passed out informational pamphlets to clients and employees. They exited stage left and shortly thereafter, Billy and his choir director were arrested while waiting for the F train.
This was not the first time Reverend Billy publicly took issue with what JP Morgan does with its money (in June 2010 he put a “holy hex” on the bank), nor was it a first time a man of the cloth paid a visit to the House of Dimon (in March 2011, a church group led by one “Bishop Cush” performed an exorcism on the steps of 270 Park Avenue, sprinkling holy water on the building in an effort to “chase the demons out of Chase”).
But something about this particular exercise struck a chord and now, the Reverend is facing up to 1 year in prison. That’s where you come in. Read more »
Tags: Barclays, bonus watch, bonuses, game changers, great ideas, HSBC, JPMorgan
Been thinking about TP’ing your CEO’s house? Or placing a massive trade that, let’s be honest, probably won’t work out and will ultimately cost the firm billions? Or taking the keys to your boss’s vintage Ferrari and driving some colleagues uptown for a joy ride, and when confronted about, claim you thought the office had a “what’s mine is yours” policy? Or dressing up as his wife for Halloween? Thanks to a new compensation plan being considered by London bank, now you can? Read more »
Tags: bonus watch, bonuses, JPMorgan, London Whale
That $11-ish billion legal tab will probably leave a mark on payday. Read more »
Tags: Dixie Klamfoth, Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan, you people better check yourselves before you wreck yourselves
Amid the storm, J.P. Morgan continues to prosper in some of its core businesses. The bank increased deposits by 10.1% in the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.’s survey of the 12 months ending in June, nearly double the industry average of 5.4%. Mr. Dimon has told audiences the bank is staying focused on customers, many of whom are concerned most about interest rates and fees. “Wow,” said Dixie Klamfoth, a customer in Circleville, Ohio, on learning J.P. Morgan is on the verge of receiving a historic fine from the Justice Department. She was surprised, she said in a phone interview, because “I feel that they have been a reputable company.” But Ms. Klamfoth said she has been satisfied with her Chase checking account, savings account and credit card. “I will be watching to see if they pass those fines onto me in the way of fees,” she said. “The moment they do, I will no longer do business with them.” [WSJ]
Tags: extradition treaties, Javier Martin-Artajo, JPMorgan, Spain, that's gonna leave a mark
When last we checked in with Javier Martin-Artajo, his attorney was telling the press that he was on vacation and had no plans or reason to believe it was necessary to cut said vacation short. Now this is happening: Read more »