JPMorgan

  • jamiedimonjpmorgan

  • NOT TO SCALE. Skilling is really off the chart, even after his resentencing.

    Banks, News

    Non-Binding Vote On Wording Of Jamie Dimon’s Business Cards Should Fix All Of JPMorgan’s Problems

    Is Jamie Dimon too powerful at JPMorgan? I have a wonderful, simple test in mind, though it may be impracticable; anyway here it is: if a majority of shareholders vote in favor of the nonbinding proposal to strip him of his role as chairman of the board, and he remains chairman of the board, then […]

    / May 9, 2013 at 10:00 AM
  • kenlangonehat

    News

    Taking Chairman Title Away From Jamie Dimon Is The Craziest God Damn Thing Ken Langone’s Heard Today

    As you may have heard, recently some JP Morgan shareholders have been making a lot of noise about their desire to strip Jamie Dimon of his gig as JP Morgan Chairman. Their argument centers largely on last summer’s incident in which one of the bank’s employees lost $6+ billion on a trade. So far the board has rallied behind JD, but we hadn’t yet heard from veterans of the business community.

    What, for instance, is Ken Langone’s reaction to the idea that Jamie can’t hold down two jobs at the same time? Whattayanuts? It’s horse shit, is what! “Nuts!” he told Bloomberg TV the afternoon. “It’s nuts!” 1. Jamie Dimon is the best CEO in America, nay, the universe 2. JPMorgan is so good is can afford things like the Whale. 3. Ken loves Jamie, as a human. 4 This “whole nonsense about governance is a lot of horse feathers” to Big Langs and 5. Unrelated but important: Ken Langone would like to remind you that he once vanquished Eliot Spitzer.

    / Apr 26, 2013 at 3:20 PM
  • Wow is this ever the face of a man not having any fun.

    Banks

    J.P. Morgan Isn’t Doing This For Fun You Know

    Yesterday JPMorgan research released a 328 page report arguing that global tier 1 investment banks were “un-investable,” and today JPMorgan reported record first-quarter earnings of $1.59 per share versus $1.40 consensus, so I guess it sort of looks like there’s a disconnect. But not really? Here are the analysts on banking regulation: We believe Tier […]

    / Apr 12, 2013 at 2:48 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Is (Still) Sorry

    JP Morgan & Co.’s chairman and chief executive officer, James Dimon, renewed his apologies to shareholders for last year’s multibillion-dollar trading fiasco, and an investor that has pushed for corporate-governance changes at large financial firms said it would focus this proxy season on changing the bank’s board…The 57-year-old Mr. Dimon called the “London Whale” trading […]

    / Apr 10, 2013 at 6:17 PM
  • Jamie-Dimon-6201

    News

    Each Chapter Of ‘The Life And Times Of James Dimon’ Will Be Written In A Different Room

    Jamie Dimon, chairman and chief executive officer of JPMorgan Chase, bought a commercial co-op unit in the base of his Manhattan apartment building for $2.05 million…The sellers of the commercial co-op were listed as Stephen Marks and George Ellis, cardiologists whose practice was located at the address. The unit is one of 11 on the […]

    / Apr 8, 2013 at 4:18 PM
  • jamiedimonvanityfair

    News

    JPMorgan Board, Execs Stand By Their Man

    Executives and directors of J.P. Morgan Chase are rallying large investors against a nonbinding shareholder proposal to strip Chief Executive James Dimon of his chairmanship, the latest attempt to restore calm following a multibillion-dollar trading loss. The largest U.S. bank is arranging conversations with big fund managers in the coming weeks. J.P. Morgan is scheduling […]

    / Apr 5, 2013 at 5:25 PM
  • Sorry which RMBS fraud case was this again?

    News

    Bear Stearns RMBS Ruling Good News For Banks, Except Maybe Bank Of America

    A while back Bear Stearns sold some mortgage-backed securities to a thing called FSAM, which was basically a subsidiary of Franco-Belgian monstrosité Dexia, and FSAM sold the RMBS on to Dexia, and the mortgages were all terrible, and their value dropped, and Dexia sued JPMorgan, currently the proud owner of Bear Stearns, and today JPMorgan […]

    / Apr 3, 2013 at 6:21 PM
  • I want to think that Iksil has a sense of humor about the whole thing and has this poster hanging in his living room. Though I guess it'll be funnier once any legal liability is behind him.

    News

    No One Wanted To Tell The London Whale He Was Looking A Little Bloated

    Here’s a good Sonic Charmer post about how JPMorgan could have prevented the London Whale loss by imposing a liquidity provision on the Whale’s desk: Liquidity provision means: ‘the more illiquid the stuff you’re trading, the more rainy-day buffer we’re going to withhold from your P&L’. And since one way a thing becomes illiquid is […]

    / Mar 28, 2013 at 5:58 PM
  • News

    JPMorgan Execs Got A Little Testy With ‘Stupid’ Regulators

    If you’d like to have at least eight federal agencies—and the Justice Department—investigating your firm, consider this approach.

    / Mar 27, 2013 at 5:40 PM
  • Oh hey cow.

    News

    Fitch And Kroll Are Happy To Make Mortgage Securitization Fun Again

    Bloomberg has a delightful story today about a new JPMorgan RMBS transaction, its first non-agency deal since the crisis. Specifically about this: The bonds are made riskier by the New York-based bank and other originators of the mortgages offering weaker promises to repurchase misrepresented loans than those on similar deals, Fitch Ratings said today in […]

    / Mar 20, 2013 at 7:24 PM
  • I will poke you!

    News

    Senate Subcommittee Feasting On Whale Today

    When I got the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations report on the London Whale last night, I did what any sensible human would do: I ctrl-F’ed for my name and the names of my friends and enemies, gloated briefly, and then set to work rationalizing not reading the rest of it. After all, it’s ridiculous […]

    / Mar 15, 2013 at 11:46 AM
  • inadrewnewyorktimes

    News

    Ina Drew Headed To Washington For A Little Chat Re: Marine Mammals

    The executive who led the J.P. Morgan Chase Co. cash-management unit at the center of the “London Whale” debacle is scheduled to testify Friday before a Senate panel probing the $6 billion trading loss at the nation’s largest bank by assets. Former Chief Investment Officer Ina Drew, who resigned as head of the unit last […]

    / Mar 13, 2013 at 4:15 PM
  • News

    Person Sends Email To Jamie Dimon

    We* don’t really find it particularly amusing amusing or post-worthy that a Jefferies employee accidentally or misguidedly put Jamie Dimon on an email about a working group list but judging by the number of people who’ve sent it to us, this is the height of banking humor, so here you go:

    / Mar 5, 2013 at 6:50 PM
  • shamu

    News

    London Whale Also Not Responsible For Those Last 10 Pounds You Haven’t Lost

    There are a lot of things that, if you wanted to, you could legitimately blame on former JP Morgan employee London P. Whale. The $6.2 billion trading loss the bank incurred over the summer. Ina Drew getting fired. This awkward phone call. Some stuff you can’t pin on him, though many have tried: male pattern baldness, the bombing of Pearl Harbor, Apple Maps, Lehman Brothers’ bankruptcy, tempting as it may be.

    / Feb 28, 2013 at 1:32 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Reminds Mike Mayo He Drove To Work In An Eighty Thousand Dollar BMW

    Mike Mayo: I think what I hear UBS saying in their presentation is, if I’m an affluent customer, I’ll feel a lot better going to UBS if they have a 13 percent capital ratio than another big bank with a 10 percent ratio, do you agree with that or disagree? Jamie Dimon: So you would go to UBS and not JPMorgan? Mike Mayo: I didn’t say that, that’s their argument. Jamie Dimon: That’s why I’m richer than you.

    / Feb 26, 2013 at 6:29 PM
  • whale5

    News

    Does Jamie Dimon Have Too Much on His Plate?

    Some meddlesome JPMC investors seem to think so.

    / Feb 20, 2013 at 4:35 PM
  • jp_morgan11

    News

    Layoffs Watch ’13: JPMorgan

    Cuts are said to have gone down at the House o’ Dimon this morning, apparently affecting a handful of equities employees.

    / Feb 13, 2013 at 12:20 PM
  • better whale-human relationship

    News

    Human-Whale Relations At JPMorgan Were Pretty Frosty

    Is JPMorgan too big to manage the quantity of public confusion about its operations? Maybe? This Reuters story about how JPMorgan was betting against its own Whale trades is a bit silly: the fact that JPMorgan’s investment bank dealer desk may have been long (short) some of the instruments that JPMorgan’s Chief Investment Office was […]

    / Jan 30, 2013 at 2:32 PM
  • I'm not sure if all the small banks are supposed to be clustered in one big green square. But there are like 20 of them.

    News

    Big Banks Do Plenty Of Lending, Though Mostly With Other People’s Money

    I’m mesmerized by this JPMorgan research chart showing that big banks shouldn’t be broken up because they lend so much more to businesses and consumers than small banks do. See: Basically for every dollar of normalized capital, JPMorgan has extended $12 of credit between March 2010 and September 2012, according to this note by JPM’s […]

    / Jan 29, 2013 at 6:37 PM
  • J.P. Morgan in a hat. *You* illustrate "liquidity backstops for variable-rate municipal issuers."

    News

    Basel III Liquidity Rules Already Making Banking Simpler And Safer

    Financial innovation gets kind of a bad rap, and one of my favorite parts of this job is when I get to celebrate it just for being itself. Sometimes this means breathtaking magic like the derivative on its derivatives that Credit Suisse sold to itself, or elegant executions of classic ideas like the Coke shares […]

    / Jan 25, 2013 at 11:16 AM
  • Banks

    JPMorgan Sees No Need To Appoint Committee To Break Up JPMorgan

    Do you have an opinion on whether JPMorgan is too big to manage and should be broken into its constituent bits? You do? Hey, that’s great, good for you. Here’s what you can do about it, in roughly descending order of effectiveness: Be Jamie Dimon, do what you want. Be a board member, try to […]

    / Jan 24, 2013 at 6:10 PM
  • You said it, Paul, not me.

    Banks

    Bank Investors Push For Change Via Strongly Worded Poll Responses

    I feel like this exchange did not go well for Jamie Dimon: [Elliott Capital’s Paul] Singer said the unfathomable nature of banks’ public accounts made it impossible to know which were “actually risky or sound”. … Mr Singer noted that derivatives positions, in particular, were difficult for outside investors to parse and worried that banks […]

    / Jan 23, 2013 at 1:32 PM

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