just a suggestion

  • 23 May 2014 at 4:55 PM

Wanna Make Some Extra Cash This Weekend?

If the weather’s got you down and you’re thinking of bailing on your Memorial Day Weekend plans anyway, consider printing up a bunch of fliers with your number on tear-off tabs at the bottom, post them in high-traffic areas around your office building, and give this lady a run for her money. Read more »

I own eighty-one leather jackets, seventy-five pairs of boots, forty-one pairs of leather pants, thirty-two pairs of haute couture jeans, ten evening jackets, and 115 pairs of leather gloves. Those who conclude from this that I have a leather fetish, an extreme leather fetish, get a grand prize of zero. And those who are familiar with my choices will sign affidavits attesting to the fact that I wear leather every day. The self-expression feels glorious, an indispensable part of me. As a stranger said after admiring my look in a Gucci burgundy jacquard velvet jacket and a Burberry black patent leather trench, “You don’t give a fuck.” The most expensive leather jacket I own, a Gucci ostrich skin, cost $13,900. The most expensive evening jacket I own, also from Gucci, black napa leather with gold threading, cost $9,800. The most expensive leather pants, $5,600. The most expensive jeans, $2,500. The most expensive pair of boots, $2,600. The most expensive pair of gloves, $1,015. Gucci by far makes up the highest percentage of my collection. The Gucci brand has always held special power for me, ever since the 1960s, when the Gucci loafer with the horsebit hardware was the rage, and my father, who fancied himself as being anti-status when he secretly loved it, broke down and bought a pair. Followed by my mother’s purchase of the famous Jackie O. shoulder bag. As a 13-year-old, I circled the old store on Fifth Avenue several times before getting up the courage to go in and buy a Gucci wallet covered with the insignia. [GQ]

Are you a down on your luck hedge fund manager who hasn’t had a good and/or original idea in a while? Did you get your face ripped off the last two years by going the wrong way on everything? Do you sense that your investors are only sticking around to be nice and/or because you won’t let them leave but will desert you the second you give them an option better than illiquid shares of a walkie-talkie passion project, unless you come up with something and fast? Then you might want to consider sticking their money in this: Read more »

  • 03 Oct 2011 at 3:10 PM
  • Layoffs

Layoffs Watch ’11: Care To Up The Ante?

As you may have heard, Wall Street is set to lay off thousands upon thousands of financial services employees over the next several months. This is truly saddening and our condolences go out to those who will be without work for whoever knows how long. Having said that, one thing we constantly hear complaints about is the insult to injury process that is an HR-administered lay off. You’re brought into a conference room, you’re told how valuable you are but at this time don’t fit into the bottom line blah blah blah, someone passes out tissues and you’re asked if you’d like your belongings boxed up and shipped to your home or if you’d like to clear out your desk yourself but either way you need to be gone within the hour, possibly escorted to the door by security. The whole thing is demeaning and downright insulting. Which is why, we’ve always wondered, if your firm is laying off scores of people regardless and you might be one of the unlucky ones anyway, shouldn’t they come up with a better way of letting you go? One that appeals to your competitive instincts and your zest for a good bet? One in which you could make some money and have some fun? Something, perhaps, like this? Read more »

  • 19 Jan 2011 at 10:40 AM

Danielle Chiesi To Plead Guilty This Afternoon

Reuters reports that Raj Rajaratnam’s gal-pal will plead guilty to her part in the Galleon insider trading case this afternoon, though it’s unclear exactly what counts she’ll be copping to, and if she’ll sell Raj down the river. Also hotly anticipated- what DC will wear to the appearance. When we first laid eyes on the analyst as she was being escorted by the cops out of her building over a year ago, Chiesi was sporting wet hair and an oversized sweater; some made comparisons to Bridget Nielsen’s look, circa the Flava Flav relationship. Then, months later, she showed up at a courthouse looking like this. Read more »

Prudential Douglas Elliman broker Darren Sukenik has rules for people who come to his open houses: have the cash to buy what he’s selling, don’t waste his time, and do not bring god knows whatever is on your shoes into this apartment. In order to ensure prospective buyers abide by commandment number three, Sukenik typically insists people either take off their shoes before entering or cover them with “surgical booties.” Explaining his rationale, he told the Times, “[These] apartments are precious…you want to make it feel like a jewel box. You wouldn’t wear construction boots in a jewel box.”

Usually, people play by Sukenik’s rules. There is one group of people, however, who’ve brought some friction to the table.

Mr. Sukenik said that in the past, some buyers, especially hedge fund executives who view it “humbling” to bare their feet, have angrily stormed out.

Read more »

  • 21 Jul 2010 at 12:29 PM

Tools Of The Trade: Some Fresh Beats

Is your boss the type to JUST BLATHER ON as though anyone gives a shit re: what he has to say because what? His name/initials are on the door? As you can’t very well just get up and leave or whip out the wrap it up box, you’re probably looking for new and inventive ways to describe his painful monologues/speeches to your colleagues and friends. To that end, might we suggest “ball-achingly indulgent”? Read more »