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  • The executive suite

    News

    Bonus Expectations Got You Down? Boss Riding Your Ass? Quit And Support Yourself Via Fantasy Football

    When he woke up on the morning of Oct. 5 — a beautiful fall day when many New Yorkers started raking leaves — Mark Guindi never imagined he would rake in something else: a cool $12,000. “It was the craziest thing,” says the handsome 24-year-old Brooklynite, who scored big in a fantasy football tourney called […]

    / Nov 21, 2014 at 5:25 PM
  • campcabins

    News

    Wanna Make Some Extra Cash This Weekend?

    If the weather’s got you down and you’re thinking of bailing on your Memorial Day Weekend plans anyway, consider printing up a bunch of fliers with your number on tear-off tabs at the bottom, post them in high-traffic areas around your office building, and give this lady a run for her money.

    / May 23, 2014 at 4:55 PM
  • buzz-biss-600

    News

    Blowing Your Bonus Watch ’13: In Need Of A Little Inspiration? Consider A Page From The Buzz Bissinger Playbook

    I own eighty-one leather jackets, seventy-five pairs of boots, forty-one pairs of leather pants, thirty-two pairs of haute couture jeans, ten evening jackets, and 115 pairs of leather gloves. Those who conclude from this that I have a leather fetish, an extreme leather fetish, get a grand prize of zero. And those who are familiar […]

    / Mar 26, 2013 at 5:23 PM
  • News

    Confidential To Any Hedge Fund Managers Tired Of Seeing Red: Try Yellow

    Are you a down on your luck hedge fund manager who hasn’t had a good and/or original idea in a while? Did you get your face ripped off the last two years by going the wrong way on everything? Do you sense that your investors are only sticking around to be nice and/or because you […]

    / Nov 18, 2011 at 3:22 PM
  • News

    At Least One Bank Offering Service So Good You’ll Scream

    Something you may have picked up on is that lately? Customers are not so happy with their banks, particularly if their banks are Bank of America or Citigroup. The websites apparently never work, there are the rage-inducing fees, and there’s the general feeling that Brian Moynihan and Vikram Pandit? Don’t actually care about them. When […]

    / Oct 20, 2011 at 4:04 PM
  • Layoffs

    Layoffs Watch ’11: Care To Up The Ante?

    As you may have heard, Wall Street is set to lay off thousands upon thousands of financial services employees over the next several months. This is truly saddening and our condolences go out to those who will be without work for whoever knows how long. Having said that, one thing we constantly hear complaints about […]

    / Oct 3, 2011 at 3:10 PM
  • News

    Danielle Chiesi To Plead Guilty This Afternoon

    Reuters reports that Raj Rajaratnam’s gal-pal will plead guilty to her part in the Galleon insider trading case this afternoon, though it’s unclear exactly what counts she’ll be copping to, and if she’ll sell Raj down the river. Also hotly anticipated- what DC will wear to the appearance. When we first laid eyes on the […]

    / Jan 19, 2011 at 10:40 AM
  • News

    How To Convince A Hedge Fund Manager Not To Track Dirt All Over The Floor Of Your Open House

    Prudential Douglas Elliman broker Darren Sukenik has rules for people who come to his open houses: have the cash to buy what he’s selling, don’t waste his time, and do not bring god knows whatever is on your shoes into this apartment. In order to ensure prospective buyers abide by commandment number three, Sukenik typically […]

    / Aug 9, 2010 at 2:30 PM
  • News

    Tools Of The Trade: Some Fresh Beats

    Is your boss the type to JUST BLATHER ON as though anyone gives a shit re: what he has to say because what? His name/initials are on the door? As you can’t very well just get up and leave or whip out the wrap it up box, you’re probably looking for new and inventive ways […]

    / Jul 21, 2010 at 12:29 PM
  • News

    Looking For That Extra Edge?

    Are you old as fuck? I mean, for Wall Street, what with all the whippsnappers running wild, not for, like, the earth? Might we suggest an age-old technique for getting that spring back in your step that apparently fell out of fashion almost 100 years ago but is surely set to make a comeback, probably […]

    / Jul 13, 2010 at 12:47 PM
  • News

    Before Shoving A [Female Hormone Pill] Down Your Junior Trader’s Mouth, Consider Butching Up Your Bitches

    If women ran Wall Street, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and LTCM would all be in business today, according to this article, which today raises the debate that’s been raised just a few (million) times since the crisis started. Females are more risk averse, the presence of testosterone breeds more testosterone (whereas environments with less T […]

    / Mar 22, 2010 at 4:15 PM
  • News

    Marc Spilker To Leave Goldman Sachs, Start Hedge Fund With Seed Money From Jim Chanos

    I’m kidding, but seriously: the departing head of Goldman Sachs Asset Management (whose gig is being taken over by Edward C. Forst) is going to have a lot of time on his hands for stuff like unorthodox landscape architecture and now that he’s retired, will really want to “maximize [his] beach enjoyment.” Uncle Jim might […]

    / Feb 12, 2010 at 2:40 PM

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