Since it became de rigeur to hate on Wall Street, one of the most common refrains we hear about are financial services employees’ abuse of animals. “Goldman Sachs clubs baby seals in the basement of 85 Broad” this, “bankers kick puppies and have a good laugh about it” that. Well look who the sick fucks are now.
A high-powered Manhattan duo’s beloved French bulldog died after heartless dog sitters let him overheat in the back of a van and then dumped him — to perish alone — at their Upper West Side apartment, according to the suit. Bankers Laura Garner and Robert Hardon entrusted their 5-year-old pooch, Percy, to caretakers at Queens- based Doggie Love for one night in July 2009 while they were out of town, the suit says. “From the instant I saw Percy . . . I knew he was the one,” a devastated Garner wrote in an affidavit, recalling the start of her love affair with her pet.
But that affection wasn’t shared by Doggie Love, says the suit filed by the couple in Queens Supreme Court yesterday.
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Be it for protection on the floor, where he really needs or just, you know, wherevs. You can’t take this from him!
When Kevin Dillon started working for JPMorgan in March 2008 as a “client processing specialist,” everybody liked him just fine. Better than fine, in fact. He was praised by his superiors, he received glowing reviews and in just a few months time, he was slated to receive a bonus and a promotion. This was all, however, before he filed a report citing “highly questionable accounting and management practices” at Highland Capital Management LP and recommending that JPM cease “facilitating Highland’s improper practices.” In doing so, Dillon was forcing his bosses to make a decision re: how to deal with the findings. They could 1) follow his suggestion and cut the hedge fund loose or 2) acknowledge the findings and decide to do nothing about them. In this case, Dill’s bosses decided to go with the second option, telling him they were “aware of Highland’s improper practices [but] that nothing would be done to remedy the issue.”
As I’m sure many of you know, however, when you’ve got a situation like a Kevin Dillon situation, it does not end there. Because if there’s one thing I’ve found in my multiple decades long career on Wall Street is that a guy like Dillon is gonna be trouble. He won’t just accept your decision to look the other way, which is admittedly annoying but something you can deal with if you’ve got the skills or someone coaching you from the sidelines (me).
First off, you can’t fire a Dillon-type straight-away, because it’ll be too obvious. This is something that requires a more subtle touch. You will want to, of course, make work life unpalatable for the employee in question, so taking away his bonus, promoting incompetents over him and offering negative but purposely vague reviews is a given. That’ll go a long way in psyching out said problem employee. But if you really want to break him…if you really want to leave your mark…if you really want to, in the event this thing ends up a lawsuit, make a name for yourself, give the readers something to aspire to and have people say “that guy may be a whack-job and potentially a racist but he knew how to deal with people,” you’ll try something like this. Read more »
Working in the investment business is tough these days. Clients are screaming about the markets, multiple boob jobs are no longer tolerated and clogged toilets are shutting the computers down.
Now, it appears you can also get fired for having cancer. Just ask Stephen Fredericks, a former MD at Raymond James, who filed a lawsuit today against his former employer. Read more »
Over the weekend, Debrahlee Lorenzana was warned by her new employer, JPMorgan Chase, to can it with the interviews re: being fired from Citi for allegedly being too hot to handle. Supposedly, the order came directly from the top. Defying James Dimon, Lorenzana and her lawyer, Jack “Get a load of these” Tuckner, appeared on a whole buncha talk shows, including the CBS Morning Show, where they were asked about being told to put a sock in it, and if they were worried Lorenzana was in danger of losing another job. Hell no they’re not. Sorry, but this isn’t about JPMorgan, this is about DL’s scorching tits and rockin’ ass, Tuckner essentially said, and you want to know something else? Dimon and his henchmen are “bullying” his client. If they want to fire her, by all means, go right ahead. Maybe manhandle her on the way out like he knows you’re just dying to. Jack will just add you to the list of banks he’ll be taking to the cleaners. Anyone else want to sack Lorezana’s exquisite breasts? Lloyd? Read more »
A few months back Patricia Cohen, ex-wife of Steve, dropped the lawyer who initially helped her file a suit against the SAC founder, claiming he hid marital assets, had engaged in insider trading, and yada yada yada. Then in April, she filed a newer, even bolder suit. Previously, Patricia had requested around $300 million from her former husband. This time, she dreamed bigger. She wanted SAC Capital. A “substantial, if not controlling interest.” The PMs, the P&L analysts, the Silver Fox. They were all gonna be hers. And not just that, she’d take the embalmed pets too. And all the fleece jackets in the back. The vests too! Today, that dream has been stalled. Patricia’s second lawyer, Gaytri D. Kachroo, has informed a court she’s finished with this lady. We’re told GDK is saying she wasn’t paid, or paid as much as she was promised. There are also claims– by others– that Kachroo was actually fired. Whatevs! It’s all relative. Any takers for round three? Read more »
Hey hey hey! Look what we have here– it’s a bunch of random Citi customers who apparently remember Debrahlee Lorenzana and have graciously offered to weigh in on the situation, offering quotes that, though they may not help her case against Citi, might certainly attract the attention of certain organizations who require their employees to be “distractingly hot,” not that that’s what Debs and the lawyer who made her do a photoshoot that showed her in work appropriate clothing such as the ensemble at left are angling for whatsoever! Here’s what the character witnesses had to say:
* “I would walk the extra few blocks just to go to this one to see her,” said publicist Matt Saulk, 36, who favored the Rockefeller Center branch where Lorenzana worked over one on W. 52nd St. “I would think Citibank would want employees like her – it brings in the customers.” Read more »
If you work at Citibank, the answer would apparently be yes, according to Debrahlee Lorenzana, who is suing the bank on the grounds that it fired her for being really good looking. So good looking, apparently, that it distracted them from the hard work they were doing at Citi and had to be stopped. Her boss Craig Fisher and one of his colleagues tried to make her less hot, allegedly, by pulling Lorenzana into an office one day and telling her she had to stop wearing turtlenecks, pencil skirts, three inch heels or “fitted” business suits. When Lorenzana brought up the matter of other females wearing way more revealing clothes, she was told those women’s shapes were different from mine, and I drew too much attention.” Lorenzana like this was kind of a bunch of bull shit (“I couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” Lorenzana recalls. “I said, ‘You gotta be kidding me!’ I was like, ‘Too distracting? For who? For you? My clients don’t seem to have any problem’) so she decided not to change her wardrobe but rather fug herself up a bit by not wearing make-up and not blowing out her hair. She also wrote a couple letters to HR letting them know she was not pleased with how the meeting went but never heard back and her attempts to downplay how hot she was didn’t work either.
“I could have worn a paper bag, and it would not have mattered,” she says. “If it wasn’t my shirt, it was my pants. If it wasn’t my pants, it was my shoes. They picked on me every single day.” Still, she continued to dress up for work—her brand of femininity is also cultural. “Where I’m from,” she says, switching into Spanish to explain it, “women dress up—like put on makeup and do their nails—to go to the supermarket. And I’m not talking trashy, you know, like in the Heights. I was raised very Latin, you know? We’re feminine. A woman in Puerto Rico takes care of herself. The Puerto Rican women here put down our flag.”
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James Lazarus, head of the firm’s executive office in the UK claims “bullying, excessive workload and a chaotic approach to work at the bank contributed to his insomnia, stress and depression.” He complained to his boss about being stressed in September 2007, a few months later took two months of sick leave and then returned in December 2007, when his workload got even worse. Lazarus took another leave in July 2008, came back in January 2009, left a year later and is now seeking £1million. Also, he’s looking for a new gig, if anyone knows of anything. [Telegraph]
To everyone shrieking “Goldman Sachs broke the law,” “Goldman Sachs is evil,” “Goldman Sachs is this,” “Goldman Sachs is that,” to the SEC, to the peasants, to the window, to the wall, one voice of reason– the only one that counts– is here to say “Stuff it. These guys are cool.” His (nick)name is Bubba and in a wide-ranging interview with Maria Bartiromo that will air on CNBC this afternoon, he told her we should all consider getting off GS’s nuts (vis-à-vis BS lawsuits). Read more »
Do you need that visual? Of this guy attempting to log onto www.ladyboyjuice.com 385 times in one day? Or of his colleague freaking out over his hard drive being full of all the porn he’d previously saved, and frantically rummaging through his desk to find some CDs on which to put his new stash? If you answered yes and hell yes, at least one law firm is fighting for your rights. Read more »