Lawyers

When you think tax inversions, think charming bed and breakfasts, vineyard picnics, freshly churned butter, photo ops in front of sheep pastures, and exchanges of e-mail addresses and promises to stay in touch among fast friends. Read more »

  • 06 Jun 2014 at 1:15 PM

Lawyer Watch ’14: Citi, Steve Cohen

It’s never good when you have to call the high-powered, high-hourly-rate attorneys in. And things are not good for Mike Corbat and Steve Cohen. Read more »

Martin Lipton isn’t exactly inviting Nelson Peltz and Barry Rosenstein to dinner. But he’ll take them over Carl Icahn, Dan Loeb or Bill Ackman, opponents of clients who he dislikes as much as the former two do the latter, and vice versa. Read more »

Much like being a first, second, or third year analyst on Wall Street, a lot of being a non-partner employee at a law firm is being shit on. Not respected. Treated like an idiot. That many of these attorneys have six-figure debt and are, in some cases, decades out of their early twenties makes the day to day treatment by their superiors all the more harsh. They can’t ease the pain with a visit to the Murray Hill Brother Jimmy’s; all the can do is go home and wonder “What kind of a life is this? Why do I put up with this,” cry, or some combination thereof. Some quit; others resign themselves to the way of life; a select few go out and get drunk on pinot grigio and decide, “I’m not some paper pusher. I’m an an esquire. I’m important. I know stuff. I’m gonna show them. I’m gonna show ALL of them [knocks over glass].” Read more »


Have you been indicted for insider trading? Forced to work your protected weekend? Been fired for being too good looking? Don’t waste your time with some fancy white shoe law firm representation. Instead, do yourself a favor and give this guy a call. Read more »

A tendency in financial journalism, and journalism in general, really, is to write about the big names. The Lloyd Blankfeins. The Ben Bernankes. The Dick Fulds. The Steve Cohens. For readers, that means never learning about the true heroes. The men and women toiling behind the scenes. The ones doing the real and, quite often, extraordinary work. SAC Capital outside counsel Martin B. Klotz is one of those unsung heroes.

Although we previously flagged Klotz as one to watch based on his tremendous performance during a deposition of Cohen, in which the opposing counsel addressed the hedge fund manager as “Stevie,” and Klotz proceeded to go absolutely ape shit on the guy, today he cemented himself to us and the world as a god damn genius and a man worth every one of the many pennies he’s being paid. Read more »

He actually made seven of them, to be exact, and while we can’t say for sure he regrets them all (some evidence suggests he might be the type of person who’d say dating a couple strippers simultaneously was “worth it”), it’s possible he regrets *some* and certainly regrets their cumulative impact. They include:

  • Getting involved with a jealous stripper.
  • Getting involved with another jealous stripper.
  • Introducing both strippers to his daughter in violation of a court order that barred him* from doing so.
  • Taking “compromising” photos with Stripper 1.
  • Letting Stripper 1 find out about Stripper 2.
  • Letting his ex-wife find out about both of them.
  • Not paying his legal bills.

Read more »

  • 14 May 2013 at 6:02 PM

Patricia Cohen Has New Representation

Following yesterday’s resignation of PC’s most recent lawyer, Howard Foster, in her case against Steve Cohen, who she claims hid millions from her during their divorce 20+ years ago, the ex-wife that could has hired herself a third attorney. Read more »