Lawyers

Martin Lipton isn’t exactly inviting Nelson Peltz and Barry Rosenstein to dinner. But he’ll take them over Carl Icahn, Dan Loeb or Bill Ackman, opponents of clients who he dislikes as much as the former two do the latter, and vice versa. Read more »

Much like being a first, second, or third year analyst on Wall Street, a lot of being a non-partner employee at a law firm is being shit on. Not respected. Treated like an idiot. That many of these attorneys have six-figure debt and are, in some cases, decades out of their early twenties makes the day to day treatment by their superiors all the more harsh. They can’t ease the pain with a visit to the Murray Hill Brother Jimmy’s; all the can do is go home and wonder “What kind of a life is this? Why do I put up with this,” cry, or some combination thereof. Some quit; others resign themselves to the way of life; a select few go out and get drunk on pinot grigio and decide, “I’m not some paper pusher. I’m an an esquire. I’m important. I know stuff. I’m gonna show them. I’m gonna show ALL of them [knocks over glass].” Read more »


Have you been indicted for insider trading? Forced to work your protected weekend? Been fired for being too good looking? Don’t waste your time with some fancy white shoe law firm representation. Instead, do yourself a favor and give this guy a call. Read more »

He actually made seven of them, to be exact, and while we can’t say for sure he regrets them all (some evidence suggests he might be the type of person who’d say dating a couple strippers simultaneously was “worth it”), it’s possible he regrets *some* and certainly regrets their cumulative impact. They include:

  • Getting involved with a jealous stripper.
  • Getting involved with another jealous stripper.
  • Introducing both strippers to his daughter in violation of a court order that barred him* from doing so.
  • Taking “compromising” photos with Stripper 1.
  • Letting Stripper 1 find out about Stripper 2.
  • Letting his ex-wife find out about both of them.
  • Not paying his legal bills.

Read more »

  • 14 May 2013 at 6:02 PM

Patricia Cohen Has New Representation

Following yesterday’s resignation of PC’s most recent lawyer, Howard Foster, in her case against Steve Cohen, who she claims hid millions from her during their divorce 20+ years ago, the ex-wife that could has hired herself a third attorney. Read more »

Remember Matthew Kluger? To recap, he’s the mergers and acquisitions lawyer who spent two decades feeding inside information to convicted insider trader Garrett Bauer, that he picked up from partners at the six different law firms he worked at over the years. The operation, which included Kenneth Robinson, an old friend of Kluger who acted as the tips mule between MK and GB, went very smoothly for a very long time (17 years), and would have continued going smoothly had Robinson stuck with the plan instead of deciding to start making the same trades as Bauer, raising suspicion with SEC, which was watching the men and used “relationship analysis” to determine they were “part of the same trading scheme and had a common source: Kluger.” In March 2011, federal agents showed up to Robinson’s house and after thinking it over for a couple days, he decided to cooperate by giving prosecutors a step-by-step guide to how the scam operated, telling them Kluger’s name, and recording conversations with Kluger and Bauer in which the two said things like “I went right up to my apartment and I broke the phone in half and went to McDonald’s and put it in two different garbage cans” and “I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep. I’m waiting for the FBI to ride into my apartment” and “We have to get all the fingerprints off that money. Like you wearing gloves or something and wiping every bill down or something” and “There is no way [these cell phone conversations] could ever be recorded.”

Robinson was ultimately sentenced to 27 months in prison, Bauer got nine years (despite his 147 speeches about how insider trading is a bad idea on the college lecture), and Kluger was handed 12 years, beating Raj Rajaratnam for “the longest insider trading U.S. history.”

Recently, Kluger sat down with Bloomberg to offer a few more specifics re: how the scheme went down (“Sometimes it was a deal I was working on, sometimes it was a deal I heard being discussed in the office”; “I would call Ken and say ‘X/Y/Z company is considering a takeover of Q company”) but what he really wants to talk about? What was the biggest surprise and hardest punch to the gut in all of this? Is what it was like finding out that his buddies were stiffing him on cuts of their ill-gotten gains. Read more »

Not sure how many people here know this, but there’s an old saying that when one is running on Ponzi scheme, one needs total focus. It’s a lot of work defrauding investors and while some activities by your staff are tolerable (smoking weed in every corner of the office, as well as the parking garage and the courtyard out back and having sex with prostitutes on the desk), a line must be drawn at those which create unacceptable distractions, like dealing said pot and purveying said prosties. If that doesn’t make any sense or you’re confused at the finely drawn distinction, perhaps convicted Ponzster Scott Rothstein, who was deposed on the matter today, can shed some light. Read more »