Lenny Dykstra

Opening Bell: 12.04.12

Banks Rediscover Money Management Again As Trading Declines (Bloomberg)
Global banks, forced by regulators to reduce their dependence on profits from high-risk trading, have rediscovered the appeal of the mundane business of managing money for clients. Deutsche Bank is now counting on the fund unit it failed to sell to help boost return on equity, a measure of profitability. UBS is paring investment banking as it focuses on overseeing assets for wealthy clients. Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan Chase and Wells Fargo, three of the five biggest U.S. banks, are considering expanding asset- management divisions as they seek to grab market share from fund companies such as Fidelity Investments. “Asset management is a terrific business,” said Ralph Schlosstein, chief executive officer of Evercore Partners Inc., a New York-based boutique investment bank that last month agreed to buy wealth manager Mt. Eden Investment Advisors LLC. “Asset managers earn fees consistently without risking capital. Compare that to other businesses in the financial services.”

Hedge Funds Win as Europe Will Pay More for Greek Bonds (Bloomberg)
Hedge funds drove up prices for Greek sovereign debt last week after determining that European finance ministers would back off a pledge to pay no more than about 28 percent of face value to retire the nation’s bonds. Money managers correctly wagered that not enough bondholders would participate at that level to get the deal done. That would put at risk bailout funds that Greece needs to stave off economic collapse. Transactions involving Greek bonds “increased by the day” after it became clear that the buyback was going to happen, with hedge funds accounting for most of the purchases, said Zoeb Sachee, the London-based head of European government bond trading at Citigroup Inc. “If all goes according to plan, everybody wins,” Sachee said. “Hedge funds must have bought lower than here. If it isn’t successful, Greece risks default and everybody loses.”

GE’s Swiss lending unit for sale, UBS to bid (Reuters)
General Electric Co wants to sell its Swiss consumer lending business, two sources familiar with the matter said, with UBS one of the parties interested in a deal that could be worth up to 1.5 billion Swiss francs ($1.62 billion). The sources told Reuters that UBS was one of at least two parties who plan to submit bids in an auction process. “GE wants to finalize the sale of GE Money Bank by the end of the first quarter,” said one of the sources.

Brian Moynihan: ‘Fiscal Cliff’ Repercussions Could Stretch in 2014 (CNBC)
“I’m more concerned about business behavior slowing down than I am about consumer behavior,” Moynihan told “Squawk Box.” “I think we’re in danger if this thing strings out into 2013 that you could start to have problems of what 2014 would look like.”

Icahn Fails In Oshkosh Tender Offer (WSJ)
The activist investor was tendered only a meek 22% of shares in an offer he used essentially as a proxy for whether shareholders would support his board nominees. Icahn, who had pledged to drop the offer and his proxy fight if he didn’t receive at least 25% of shares tendered, says he is indeed dropping the tender offer.

Ex-baseball star Lenny Dykstra sentenced in bankruptcy fraud case (Reuters)
Lenny Dykstra, the 1980s World Series hero who pleaded guilty earlier this year to bankruptcy fraud, was sentenced on Monday to six months in federal prison and ordered to perform 500 hours of community service. The 49-year-old former ballplayer – who is already serving time in state prison for grand theft auto, lewd conduct and assault with a deadly weapon – was also ordered to pay $200,000 in restitution. In the federal case, Dykstra pleaded guilty in July to bankruptcy fraud and other charges. According to the written plea agreement, he admitted defrauding his creditors by declaring bankruptcy in 2009, then stealing or destroying furnishings, baseball memorabilia and other property from his $18.5 million mansion.

Teacher disciplined for receiving foot massages from students (SLT)
A Taylorsville Elementary School teacher has returned to his third-grade classroom after being disciplined for violating professional standards after students reported they scratched his back, rubbed his feet and had other inappropriate contact while at school. Granite School District officials found no criminal conduct by elementary teacher Bryan Watts, 53, who has worked at the school since 2004, but the district claims to have taken “appropriate disciplinary action” following complaints about Watts…Granite District police Detective Randall Porter started an investigation into Watts’ conduct Oct. 9 after a mother expressed concern to the district after her daughter reported odd classroom behavior by Watts. “She complained that her daughter [name redacted] told her that Watts asks students to rub his feet and back during ‘movie time,’ that Watts told the class that they should not tell their parents about activities that happen in the classroom, and that Watts scared a student by hitting a hammer on the student’s desk,” Porter wrote in his 19-page report…officials also said there were student statements about odd activities, including playing dodgeball in Watts’ classroom. Read more »


They say that’s the only way Dykstra* will learn that in our society, you can’t rip toilets and other bathroom fixtures out of the floors of foreclosed houses and sell them to a pawn shops, or bounce checks to hookers, or drop trou for the cleaning staff just because you feel like it. Read more »


Former New York Mets star and financial guru Lenny Dykstra was sentenced to three years in state prison on Monday, after a judge rejected a last-ditch effort to change his no contest plea and fight the charges. He had pleaded no contest to grand theft auto and filing a false financial statement in connection with a scheme to use somebody else’s paperwork to steal or lease several new cars, according to court records…In delivering the sentence, L.A. County Superior Court Judge Cynthia Ulfig said the effort to steal cars showed “sophistication, planning.” Her sentence came after Dykstra’s lawyer unsuccessfully urged the court to withdraw the no contest plea. But Ulfig said Dykstra was given ample due process and he had numerous opportunities to show evidence that he was innocent. After she rejected the plea withdrawal, Dykstra addressed the court, making a rambling and repetitive speech requesting leniency. ”Did I do something I’m not proud of? Yes,” Dykstra said. “Am I a criminal? No.” [LA Times, earlier]

As you may have heard, this Saturday night, Lenny Dykstra will box former co-worker Jose Canseco, in a title fight** that will be live-streamed for your viewing pleasure. Canseco was originally scheduled to go head to head with the husband of a Real Housewives cast member but “graciously” agreed to bow out after Nails “called and begged to take his place against Canseco” who, according to LD, “ruined my career by spreading lies.” All of which got us thinking– since Lenny a) is in serious need of some cash, b) not doing much these days, and c) probably looking to work out some of the aggression he feels toward people who’ve brought his life to the place it is today, perhaps he should consider fighting the other individuals who “ruined” things for him? Read more »

Legendary Jim Cramer-endorsed investor Lenny Dykstra may have been disappointed when neither Charlie Sheen nor Hollywood producer Jonathan Heap came through to bail him out from jail where he’s awaiting trail on charges of defrauding creditors, stealing cars, possessing coke and exposing himself to a series of maids found on Craigslist. But if his time on Wall Street taught Nails anything, it was always to have a margin of safety, which in this case meant autographing one hundred “Free Nails” t-shirts before he went to jail so that he can now sell them to raise bail money.
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Back in January, Lenny Dykstra was accused of sexually harassing his housekeeper, who claimed that LD forced her to “give him oral sex on Saturdays.” At the time, Dykstra scoffed at the allegations, telling a reporter that he was the victim of extortion and “If she was assaulted on Saturdays, I’m a ballerina dancer on Sundays.” Charges were never filed (prosecutors cited a lack of evidence), which Nails apparently took as a sign that this kind of interaction with your cleaning lady is not in fact frowned upon and continued spending his weekends dancing Swan Lake on Sundays after dropping trou in various maids’ faces on Saturdays. Read more »

When Lenny Dykstra began a downward spiral several years ago, in which he went from having several million in the bank and buying Wayne Gretzky’s house to ripping bathroom fixtures out of the place and selling them at a pawn shop before meeting up with hookers to whom he bounced checks, a man named Jim Cramer took a lot of flack for a comment he’d made about LD in March 2008. Cramer told Bob Costas that of all the people Cramer knew (when he ran a hedge fund, before he got into TV), Dykstra ranked as “one of the greats” in the investing industry. Cramer seemed to stand alone in his comment– especially after Nails started shitting on the floor of his foreclosed house, prompting creditors to file a restraining order– which seemed to rival the one he’d made the same month about Bear Stearns being more than “fine.” Then today, buried in a retrospective on the life and times of Leonard K. Dykstra, who currently sits in a tiny jail cell, vindication. Read more »


[Twitter via CNBC, earlier]

As you may have heard, Lenny Dykstra is currently sitting in jail on bankruptcy fraud charges. The man once named investor of the century by Jim Cramer could prepare for his upcoming trial in the company of wherever he’s crashing these days but no one has stepped up to the plate to cover the cash portion of his bail, $50,000 in cash (the collateral of $500,000 to secure the bond is in the bag). Want to do your part to bust him out? Want to bust him out without anyone knowing you helped (no names: Jim). Now you can. Read more »

Former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra pleaded not guilty Monday in a federal case where he’s accused of embezzling money from a bankruptcy estate. An out-of-sorts Dykstra appeared in a Los Angeles federal courtroom where he entered his plea while flanked by a new attorney, a deputy federal public defender. His previous lawyer, Mark Werksman, wouldn’t comment about why he no longer represented Dykstra, but noted a judge has declared the one-time baseball star indigent. Federal prosecutors contend Dykstra, 48, sold or destroyed more than $400,000 worth of items from an $18.5 million mansion without permission of a bankruptcy trustee. When U.S. Magistrate Judge John McDermott asked Dykstra if he understood the charges, the ex-big leaguer gave an incoherent response. “I don’t understand it, but I understand them,” said Dykstra, who appeared dazed. [AP]

Two huge wins for Jim Cramer-endorsed investor Lenny Dykstra today. Read more »