Lindsay Lohan

Shia LaBeouf was escorted out of the LA opening of The Box nightclub by security Friday night after a confrontation with a pal of shock rocker Marilyn Manson [after LaBeouf “picked up a water bottle…and started spitting it all over his tablemates, including Marilyn Manson“]. The “Transformers” star “exchanged terse words with a friend of Manson’s, who lunged over the table at Shia, and Shia lunged back. “Two security guards led Shia out holding his hands behind his head. Outside, he fell onto a barricade. Swearing, he picked himself up and ran off.” Despite numerous witnesses at the party, also attended by Jon Hamm, Lindsay Lohan and Chelsea Handler, Shia’s rep said: “[He] actually left the club early as planned … he went to see one of the bands performing in the showcase and left after they finished … exiting through a crowded room was apparently misinterpreted. No altercation occurred.” [NYP, earlier]

Back in March, Lindsay Lohan filed a suit against E*Trade, claiming that the baby in the brokerage’s latest commercial was based on her life. Lohan came to this conclusion because the character’s name is Lindsay, she’s referred to as a “milk-a-holic,” and there’s a suggestion that the young one is a man-stealing tramp (she also claimed that though the name “Lohan” is never mentioned, she’s attained first name recognition. Plus, the stuff about the baby being a strung out slut). For the grave offense, Lohan demanded the spots pulled, and $100 million for the emotional distress they caused her. Read more »

All Lindsay Lohan ever did was drive drunk a few times, endanger the lives of others, show flagrant disregard for the law, star in a few terrible movies and preside over the death of a puppy with each passing day she refuses to go back to her natural red roots from that god-awful bleach blonde. For all this and maybe a little more, people say she sucks. And then you have Lloyd Blankfein, over there on West Street, consistently making it rain day in and day out, not racking up the DUIs and definitely not making horrible hair choices, getting a free pass? It’s not right, says the guy directing her in a new Linda Lovelace film (once she gets out of the clink). Read more »

  • 31 Mar 2010 at 1:15 PM

Fox Developing Movie Based On E*Trade Baby

Please let what has the potential to be the worst film of the year have a part for Linday “Whore Baby” Lohan, involving her substance (milk) abuse problem.

Earlier this week, Lindsay Lohan filed a suit against E*Trade. The claim? That the baby in the brokerage’s latest commercial was based on her life. Lohan came to this conclusion because the character’s name is Lindsay, she’s referred to as a “milk-a-holic,” and there’s a suggestion that the young one is a man-stealing tramp (she also claimed that though the name “Lohan” is never mentioned, she’s attained first name recognition. Plus, the stuff about the baby being a strung out slut). For the grave offense, Lohan wants the spots pulled, and $100 million for the emotional distress they’ve caused her. Though not trained lawyers in the classical sense, our take was that while it seemed like Lindsay was being a little paranoid (/in need of money, and brilliantly tapping a new revenue stream), that whore-baby was definitely her. To that end, today the Post reveals how your loose Lindsay sausage got made.

The intimate glimpse into the Madison Avenue sausage-making process was provided by an Esquire magazine reporter, who was granted access to meetings at Grey Group as they hashed out the details for the spot. According to internal documents obtained by the magazine, workers at the Fifth Avenue ad company can be seen brainstorming on Sept. 10 about a cutting, but FCC-friendly, word to describe a trollop of a tyke named Deborah.

But less than three weeks later, in a document from Sept. 28, Deborah’s name is crossed out and replaced with “Lindsay,” according to the mag.

On the same page as Lindsay’s name is a slew of sleazy descriptors including “gutter hound,” “fish face,” “rug burn” and “skanky cake.”

When asked if the tramp baby was based on Lindsay, creative director Tor Myrhen said, “Not at all. I don’t think we even thought of it at the time.” Anyway! Let’s roll that tape again. Read more »

So, okay. A new E*Trade commercial has that day-trading baby two-timing a couple of girl babies. The one who is supposed to be his girlfriend (weird?) wants to know where he was last night, and doesn’t buy that he got busy “diversifying [his] portfolio.” She suggests he was banging “that milk-a-holic Lindsay.” Said milk-a-holic, who sort of has red hair, then pops on the screen all indignantly. And Lindsay Lohan is claiming this is supposed to be her, and wants the spots pulled and $100 million.

Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna. “Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Ovadia said. “They used the name Lindsay,” Ovadia said. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.” Ovadia wants an injunction to force the spot off the air, and the Lindsay camp wants every last copy of the commercial.

On the one hand, sounds like someone’s being a little paranoid. On the other? Yeah, it’s definitely supposed to be her. And she does need the money. Read more »

How Private Equity Got Lindsay Lohan To Strip For Us

Lindsay Lohan New York Magazine Nude Portfolio Conde Nast This Should Generate Some Traffic Right.JPGWe deserve some sort of prize for holding out a full five days to post about the nude pictures of Lindsay Lohan in New York Magazine. New York got some twenty million page views in the first two days, according to Jeff Bercovici. So much traffic that it crashed the website.
New York Magazine was started by writers and other disreputable literary types but soon fell into the hands of Rupert Murdoch thanks to a hostile takeover. When it happened, some were scandalized. Now it looks like a practice run for Murdoch’s takeover of the Wall Street Journal. Murdoch sold the magazine in 1990 to to K-III Communications, a partnership controlled by KKR’s Henry Kravis. The magazine did well for several years but Kravis was not exactly a hands-off owner. He reportedly fired an editor over the magazine’s coverage of his friends and Wall Street associates.
In 2003, New York was sold to Bruce Wasserstein, the Cravath attorney turned investment banker turned private equity baron. Wasserstein installed the best magazine editor alive, Adam Moss, to head the magazine. And that guy got Lindsay Lohan to pose naked for all of us, once again confirming his place at the top of the magazine editor heap. In short, we all have private equity to thank for bringing us this historic triumph.
Even better, there is an important tax lesson to be learned from all this. At least, that’s what we’re told by the folks at MainStreet.com, the money blog version of Parade magazine. How exactly are Lindsay’s assets taxable? We’re not quite sure we want to answer that question this early in the afternoon. But here’s how MainStreet.com gets there:

Unlike Hollywood starlets, most people are not stripping for the public, but there is a good chance that their financial records could undergo a shocking undressing. (Yes, we know it’s stretch, but go with it, dearest readers.) According to Surviving an IRS Tax Audit, nearly 50% of all taxpayers will be audited during their lifetime. While the initial notice in the mail can be cause for concern, an audit from the IRS doesn’t mean the worst as long as people know what to expect and are prepared.

At least they admit it’s a stretch. A-plus for effort, kids.
After the jump we bring private equity and Lindsay Lohan together in a much more intimate way. It’s NSFW, which is internet-speak for “totally awesome.”
Editor’s Note: That picture represents Lindsay on Portfolio, which seemed appropriate since Portfolio’s media writer was expounding on Lindsay. That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.
Lindsay Lohan Nude [New York]

Naked Lindsay a Web Home Run for ‘New York’
[Media Matters, Portfolio.com]
Naked Lohan Makes Us Think of Taxes [MainStreet.com]

Read more »