12:40 Hank, whose rosacea is flaring up like nobody’s business, has arrived to put Geithner out of his misery.
12:41 He’s happy be to be here and answer your questions, but just so you know, he’s got limited knowledge of the topics and not a lot of time, so let’s move this shit along. Seriously, nature walk at 1:45. The birds wait for no one.
12:53 Paulson: “All money printed is green.” Also the lead track on his new album. Not a coincidence.
1:00 Hank is not going to second guess the opinions of people, for instance, Tim Geithner. So piss off.
1:15 I love you Elijiah Cummings but why????????? Why do we have to keep talking about those mo-fucking AIG bonuses??
1:20 Interrupted by the iPad. Oh, Mock-Turtleneck is gonna pay for this.
live-blog
9:55 5 minutes to show time. While we wait:
(I have it on good authority that Geithner and Paulson have rehearsed the above moves and will be performing them in lieu of opening remarks. Or they’ll just sit there and recuse themselves while turning red. It’ll be one of these two things. Hoping against hope…)
10:10 Rep. Towns: “The AIG counterparties were given a piggy-bank full of taxpayer money and told ‘help yourselves’.”
E-Towns invites everyone to join him in fixing the system. Come on down.
10:18 Rep. Issa comes out with the big guns– the old man and his dog, who told Issa bankruptcy would’ve been a better option, and who is putting together a jigsaw puzzle that will reveal a picture of Geithner shoving hundos in Lloyd’s g-string.
10:20 T.Geith’s eyebrows are not happy.
10:24 Geithner did what he did for the American people. He loves you all so damn much.
10:28 AIG was “the only fire company operating at the time.” So TG whipped out his hose, and did what he had to do.
10:40 This decision didn’t come easy. It was like Sophie’s Choice out there.
10:42 Can we take a guess as to what the girl behind TG is cracking up about?
10:58 Hold music. “Highway To Hell” vetoed in favor of Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony (I think?).
11:02 Gerald is our “facilitator” today. Everyone say hi Gerald.
11:04 Dane Holmes, 6’8″, 260lbs, takes the mic. Forward looking statements, yada yada yada.
11:06 David Viniar in the house. Goldman made almost $5 billion last quarter, in case you were unaware.
11:09 Reading of the slides.
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