Last night Daily Intel Jessica and I met Lloyd Blankfein’s face. This is how it went down. Please read Act I here.
Scene: The Financial Times/Goldman Sachs Business Book of the Year Awards. The Pierre Hotel. Night.
Characters: Andrew Ross Sorkin, Lloyd Blankfein, Intel Jessica, Dealbreaker Bess, PR People, Assorted Nerds from the worlds of Media and Finance.
[People cutting into Jess and Bess's Time With Lloyd leave, finally]
Dealbreaker Bess: [Doesn't know what to say so just leads with the truth]: You’re my muse.
Lloyd: [Lloyd Smile on]: Oh yeah?
Dealbreaker Bess: [Knows she should pump the brakes on this but can't, it's left the station]: Yes– I love writing about you- you inspire me.
Lloyd: [Lloyd Grin on full blast]: I bet I could probably do me better than you do me if I tried [Laughs, touches DB BL's arm] No, I’m kidding. Who are your other muses?
Dealbreaker Bess: Well I really only have a few, distant to you. Steve Cohen, the hedge fund manager and [racks her brain] this guy…Lenny Dykstra.** Read more »
“I really like the idea that there is a flowering tree that’s blossoming here, indigenous to Brooklyn, rising out of an urban area,” Blankfein said yesterday in Bed-Stuy, while helping break ground on The Bradford, a low-income housing project financed by Goldman’s Urban Investments Group named for a type of pear tree that grows in the borough. [Daily Intel]
Late last week, it was reported that Goldman Sachs has been considering paying back the $5 billion bone thrown to them by Warren Buffett during the scariest part of the financial crisis. It was very kind of him and all and they’re eternally grateful but as the firm is back to making it rain ka-ching on each other’s faces and the terms of the investment (special dividend payments of 10% a year on the bank’s preferred stock, plus warrants to buy shares of Goldman at $115/share) are, how to put this in a way WB will understand, like having the twin Geico cavemen play tug of war with your testicles– nice/somewhat intriguing under extraordinary circumstances/unusual dry-spells but fairly uncomfortable and not a place you want to be after the first or second yank, Lloyd and Co would like to put the experience behind them. Which, sure they do, but as Buffett’s payout is working out to be about $15 per second, it’s probably not something he’ll want to give up easily, and if he has to fake not knowing how to check his voicemail again, so be it. Read more »
“God’s work going down on the Acela to DC this afternoon. LB sporting biz casual.”
He loves a British accent as much as the next guy but you know what? That may not be enough. He’s had it up to his gleaming pate with this regulatory crap and somebody better figure out something and fast otherwise the Golden scrots are gone. Be a good bunch of boys and girls and take this warning seriously, as LB is deadly serious about it. Read more »
Do not get your hopes up. This is completely unconfirmed. But: Read more »
So! You’re an employee of Goldman Sachs and you want to date, mate or just rub up against one of your colleagues. In the wake of last week’s lawsuit by three woman against the bank, one of whom cited an incident several years back wherein a co-worker gave her an unsolicited groping after a company outing to Scores, there may be some confusion re: what’s consider cool and not cool by management. The great news is that no one at GS is looking to outright playa-hate. According to Heidi Moore, all the higher-ups ask is that you loop them in at the first stirring in your pants so they can evaluate on a case by case basis.
It’s a God that requires frequent confessionals, as one senior banker there explains: “There is a culture at Goldman which is very strong and clear, which is: it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you own up to them right away.” The firm’s dating protocols—by all accounts little-known—don’t ban dating within the firm but instead require employees to disclose their relationships to their direct manager, who can contact what one alum wryly calls “ the inappropriate-behavior SWAT team.”
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It’s one thing to produce a film that induces feelings of suicide in the audience, what with its 17 different plots lines and Gucci loafers, all the while exposing your childlike comprehension of the machinations of Wall Street but when you insult the looks of Lloyd Blankfein, you go too far. Read more »
This fall, in a basement at Goldman Sachs, around 100 men and women will be inducted into an exclusive society. Membership will mean they’ll make metric ass-tons of money. They’ll get “investment opportunities not offered to other employees” (first dibs on client front-running, etc). They’ll be able to put in requests for “fashionable tables at New York restaurants” and hookers who are fine with the wearing of a Scream mask while being done from behind. They’ll be partners at Goldman Sachs. To commemorate this event, and for the practical purpose of tagging them so their status at the firm can be quickly verified with one quick drop of trou, these newly-made partners will have their nether regions dipped in a vat of gold, which will harden while Lloyd Blankfein gives a speech about how to carry oneself differently once they reach the upper echelons of GS (literally, as those things will drag if you’re not careful).
At the same time, another group of Goldman employees will be put on a bus and taken upstate. “Where are we going,” someone will ask. “Is this some sort of field-trip,” the dimmer ones will wonder excitedly. It’ll be in a warehouse in Buffalo, where no one can hear them scream that the head of HR will come out of the shadows, wearing an executioner’s mask and swinging massive clippers. The slowest of the bunch will still think they’re in for a treat, this setting being reminiscent of the partner’s retreat in ’03. The rest will know.
As many as 60 Goldman executives could be stripped of their partnerships this year to make way for new blood, people with firsthand knowledge of the process say. Inside the firm, the process is known as “de-partnering.”
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