Do you want to take on a man who would rather shave off his eyebrows than pay his ex-wife a dime? Do you relish the opportunity to oppose an army of highly-paid corporate lawyers with tens of thousands times the resources at their disposal? Are you not spooked by the prospect of serving as the third in a series of lawyers on a case? Then give Patricia Cohen a call. Read more »
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Taking Chairman Title Away From Jamie Dimon Is The Craziest God Damn Thing Ken Langone’s Heard Today
By Bess Levin
As you may have heard, recently some JP Morgan shareholders have been making a lot of noise about their desire to strip Jamie Dimon of his gig as JP Morgan Chairman. Their argument centers largely on last summer’s incident in which one of the bank’s employees lost $6+ billion on a trade. So far the board has rallied behind JD, but until today, we hadn’t what veterans of the business community thought of the matter.
What, for instance, is Ken Langone’s reaction to the idea that Jamie can’t hold down two jobs at the same time? It’s horse shit, is what! Read more »
George Soros will be the first to be quizzed by lawyers in his battle with former mistress Adriana Ferreyr, a judge ruled yesterday. The billionaire will be deposed by the end of July. Also to be quizzed is Soros’ new fiancée, Tamiko Bolton, on Sept. 27 — which could interfere with their planned fall wedding. While Soros didn’t attend the Manhattan hearing, Ferreyr sat with her attorney William Beslow and stared down Soros’ counsel Gary Stein. Ferreyr is suing Soros for $50 million, claiming he promised her a $1.9 million apartment but gave it to Bolton. [NYP, earlier]
Husband’s Lack Of Interest In Recreating 50 Shades Of Grey Scenarios Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back For British Banker
By Bess Levin
The couple is getting a quickie divorce that should be wrapped up shortly, if you know anyone both familiar with the plot lines and interested. Read more »
Girlfriend Insider Trading On Two-Timing Boyfriend’s Behalf Found Roommate’s Judgment A Little Uncalled For
By Bess Levin
Back in 2009, Thomas Ammann found out through his investment banking job that Canon Inc would be acquiring a Netherlands-based company called Océ N.V. Being in a bit of a tight spot with his finances and seeing an opportunity to score some cash but wanting to avoid the prison time that could come with, he decided to be smart about things and put some distance between the tips and his profits, by employing a couple middlemen. In this case, those middlemen were his two girlfriends, Christina Weckwerth and Jessica Mang, who 1) put up the cash and 2) traded on the material non-public information. And while they probably would have taken issue with Ammann dating and tipping both of them, and would have perhaps been branded a lowlife by their friends and families, Tommy-boy made sure to keep the women a secret from one another, therefore only incurring the wrath of Mang’s roommate on account of the insider trading business. Which, to be honest, Mang thought she was kind of being an uptight bitch about. Read more »
Wedding After-Party Of Financial Services Couple Requires One Cop For Every One Guest*
By Bess Levin
Which apparently wasn’t enough. Read more »
Back in May, we had a frank discussion about drinking with colleagues and/or clients after work. Specifically, how many drinks one should put away in order to have a good time but not cross any unfortunate lines. At the time, we used a young lady named Sophia Anderson as our guide and said that, assuming you have the tolerance of a 21 year-old female and consider being arrested post-Happy Hour for driving your car through a stranger’s house one of those lines, no more than a dozen beverages should be consumed, with fourteen being the absolute max. Today we have just a quick update, to those for whom it bears mentioning, that if you’re going to ignore said guidelines and have that fifteenth cocktail shortly before accepting a ride home from an equally sloshed coworker who confuses someone’s front lawn/foyer/kitchen/backyard patio with the road, you should probably not agree to lie to the police, say you were the one driving, and have them breathalyze you with 370 ounces of alcohol (and some cocaine) in your body. Not even if you’re in love with him or her; not even if he or she promises to take take you on vacation after all of this blows over; not even if you were passed out the whole ride and a bit disoriented after “[waking] up as…the car drove through the house.” Read more »
As the results of a recent survey given to Harvard Business School’s Class of 1986 show, holding an MBA does not ensure one a job for life, particularly in these tough economic times (nearly half of all of respondents said they had been laid off or fired at least once). This summer has not been without its share of cuts and according to Meredith Whitney, at least 50,000 more financial services employees will be let go the end of the year. When and if that time comes for you, will your spouse or loved ones be prepared to do whatever it takes to help you land you your next gig, like Holly Stuard’s husband was? [TNN via Gawker]
Not that the bonds of matrimony ever stopped him before but now that he and his wife, Anne Sinclair, have officially separated, the randiest former IMF chief since Johannes Witteveen is really ready to party. Bellhops, concierges, towel boys, people who hand out AM New York by the subway, ladies who lunch, perfume spritzers at Saks, line cooks at Mas (only the ones who are on break– he has standards), MTA officials, cocktail waitresses at the Olive Garden in Times Square, the Brooklyn Cyclones, ushers at the New York Philharmonic, women at the TKTS window booth, Real Housewives of NYC, NJ, Atlanta, and Beverly Hills, the cast of Mamma Mia!, every Air France employee– you’ve been warned! [WSJ]
Woman Whose Ex-Hedge Fund Husband Demanded A Cut Of Her Shoes Just Rubbing It In His Face At This Point
By Bess LevinBack in June, hedge fund manager Daniel Shak sued his ex-wife, Beth, over assets he claimed she’d hid during the couple’s divorce. Said assets were Beth’s shoes, which Daniel alleged were kept in a “secret room” and were worth approximately $1 million, 35 percent of which he wanted. It was a bit unclear as to why he was going after the footwear collection three years after the two split (though using the proceeds to relaunch his fund was a possibility) but the heart wants what the heart wants. Anyway, today brings just a couple follow-ups on the Shaks, both of which are slightly more exciting for Beth than Dan. Read more »
Unintended Consequences Of Global Financial Crisis Included Barney Frank Being Put In The Doghouse
By Bess Levin
Still, it soon became clear that dating a congressman was not like dating other men. Mr. Frank had just been appointed chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, where he played a central role in creating legislation to increase transparency in financial markets. Weekends in Maine turned into Washington sleepovers, with Mr. Ready eating takeout outside a conference room as Mr. Frank hammered out a bank bailout with figures like Henry Paulson Jr., then the Treasury secretary. “Hank Paulson would call on a Friday afternoon and say, ‘Well, such-and-such a bank is failing,’ ” said Mr. Frank, recalling broken dates. At one point, Mr. Ready confronted his boyfriend: “I was like, ‘You know what? You spend more time with flight attendants than you do with me.’ ” [NYT]
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