Back in February, Macquarie employee David Kiely got in a little hot water with his employer for looking at some topless shots of Miranda Kerr on his computer. It should’ve been no big deal but unfortunately his floor was being filmed on live TV at the time and as the Aussies couldn’t be perceived as condoning that sort of thing, they put him on a time-out. He was ultimately allowed to keep his job but management has taken extreme precautions to ensure something like this won’t happen again, namely equipping everyone’s computers with a child-lock. What’s a horny Aussie to do? Consider taking lunch at this establishment, where you can get you fix.
A WOMAN has stripped off naked in front of dozens of people having breakfast at a popular Darwin restaurant. Witnesses said the woman took off all her clothes after she and another woman had a full-on fist fight over a man yesterday. “That was just a shocker,” eyewitness Fernando Dentes, 34, said. “People were trying to eat.”
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Back in February, Macquarie employee David Kiely got in a little trubs with his employer for looking at some topless shots of Miranda Kerr on his computer. It should’ve been no big deal but unfortunately his floor was being filmed on live TV at the time and as the Aussies couldn’t be perceived as condoning that sort of thing, they put him on a time-out. He was ultimately allowed to keep his job but probably won’t be promoted any time soon and now has to live with a 9-5 sans nudes, as his computer was most likely equipped with the child-lock. Sans tits to look at over the course of the day (the secret to many a financial services hack’s success), David is probably going through a bit of an existential funk. Well take heart, buddy boy! We have some news sure to brighten your afternoon right up and perhaps offer some JO&C material for later tonight.
“It was a huge deal,” Kerr told GQ recently over tea in New York City. “I wasn’t offended. I just felt sorry for the poor guy.” Posing near naked for a living can give you a certain perspective on such things. Kerr considers the scandalized Aussie banker with whom she’ll be forever intertwined. “I wonder if he’ll get into trouble if we send him this cover,” she asks. “We should send him a signed cover! He can read the magazine at home instead of at work on the Internet.” A brilliant idea.
You hear that, guy?! MIRANDA HASN’T FORGOTTEN YOU. In fact, SHE TALKS ABOUT YOU. TO PEOPLE. And speaking of brilliant ideas, try this one on for size. All this guy had to do to get Miranda Kerr to think about him, talk about him, feel bad for him in such a way that she might even feel like she owes the guy something was to get caught looking at pics of her on his computer. Since I am always working for you, all I’m going to say is there are shots of MK from the June issue after the jump. Do what you want with them. Continue reading »
“Numbers come out at the end of this month. There was a global call for the Macquarie Capital Advisors division to communicate the message that the numbers would be slightly above last years levels but overall will be disappointing. Last year’s numbers were terribly low.”
Tough break but let us not forget the trade-off. You knew that going into this.
As previously mentioned, David Kiely, the Macquarie employee who took a few peeks at a topless Miranda Kerr while he floor was being filmed the other day, has been home since the “incident,” while his superiors deal with the matter internally. We’ve suggested this isn’t grounds for termination, and so far there’s at least one campaign to Save Dave. Additionally, the bank is apparently investigating whether or not this was “a practical joke gone wrong.” 1) Obviously no, it probably was not, and David needs to just own this. 2) If it was a “joke” you Aussies need to examine your lives because you sicken me. Yes, there’s clearly some grounds for hilarity vis-a-vis sending your co-worker something to look at on his work computer when you know he’s going to be in the background of a live, nationally broadcast show. Given. But this is what you’re going with? Shots of a model from GQ? Not something that might actually be slightly embarrassing/darker, like bestiality (for instance: two hawks DP’ing a Goldman candidate)? Or Justin Timberlake pantomiming a hand job?
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So! It seems that the Aussies at Macquarie were not as opened-minded as one would’ve hoped. David Kiely, the client investment manager who took a few ganders at Miranda Kerr yesterday while his floor was being filmed, has been “waiting at home” since the “incident” while his bosses, who “take matters such as the unacceptable use of technology extremely seriously,” deal with the matter internally.
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