Even with just a paltry 36.11% success rate, Goldman survived a highly unpredictable first round, as the equally uninspiring Brazilians they picked to win the whole thing managed to survive Cameroon and Croatia. Read more »

  • 13 Jun 2014 at 4:14 PM
  • Banks

Banks Continue To Enjoy Their Once-In-Four-Years Fun

The entire world outside the borders of the United States of America is transfixed by the Quadrennial International Tournament of Soccer, or “World Cup,” which began yesterday when one country that some Americans have heard of defeated a team that fewer Americans have heard of.

Now, if you happen to be one of the handful of Americans that have heard of both of them, and are paying attention to the great hands-less sporting contest, and you read this blog, you probably already know one of the countries already mentioned, Brazil, is going to win, because Goldman Sachs says so. Or Spain, because ING has determined through highly speculative means that its players are the most valuable in the world. But things are not so simple, according to Macquarie, which provides a much-needed, Nate Silver-esque* quantitative answer to a question that will have a definitive answer exactly one month from today. Read more »

  • 25 Apr 2014 at 11:53 AM

Bonus Watch ’14: Macquarie

The Aussies have some very unhappy junior mistakers on their hands. Read more »

  • 23 May 2013 at 1:21 PM

Seamless Watch ’13: Macquarie

On the heels of this, the Aussies have taken an ax to (weekend) food allowances and its (junior) mistmakers, for one, are having none of it! Read more »

  • 02 May 2013 at 2:26 PM

Bonus Watch ’13: Macquarie

The Aussies have some angry junior mistmakers on their hands. Read more »

So Alan James didn’t and this happened: Read more »

  • 15 Mar 2012 at 10:46 AM

Layoffs Watch ’12: Macquarie

Cuts are said to be coming next week. Read more »

  • 19 Aug 2010 at 3:45 PM

Attention Macquarie Employees: Get Your Tit Fix Here

Back in February, Macquarie employee David Kiely got in a little hot water with his employer for looking at some topless shots of Miranda Kerr on his computer. It should’ve been no big deal but unfortunately his floor was being filmed on live TV at the time and as the Aussies couldn’t be perceived as condoning that sort of thing, they put him on a time-out. He was ultimately allowed to keep his job but management has taken extreme precautions to ensure something like this won’t happen again, namely equipping everyone’s computers with a child-lock. What’s a horny Aussie to do? Consider taking lunch at this establishment, where you can get you fix.

A WOMAN has stripped off naked in front of dozens of people having breakfast at a popular Darwin restaurant. Witnesses said the woman took off all her clothes after she and another woman had a full-on fist fight over a man yesterday. “That was just a shocker,” eyewitness Fernando Dentes, 34, said. “People were trying to eat.”

Read more »