As previously discussed ’round these parts, your secretary knows everything about you, such as, specifically, your dietary habits, and, more generally, your web of lies and bull shit and deceit. For all those reasons, you really need to think twice about firing her. On the off-chance you get hauled off to the big house (after a luxurious penthouse arrest) because you were running a sizable Ponzi scheme, however, you’re out of luck. She’s probably gonna talk! Above, Bernie Madoff’s longtime administrative assistant, Eleanor Squillari, talkin’ B with Vanity Fair. Apparently he was acting weird and taking his blood pressure a lot during the weeks before he confessed, as though he was worried about something. And from her interview with VF‘s Mark Seal:

“Bernie was irresistible to women” and “had a roving eye.” Squillari once caught him perusing the escort ads in the back of a magazine, and he frequently visited massage parlors. “Once, I looked in his address book and found, under M, about a dozen phone numbers for his masseuses. ‘If you ever lose your address book and somebody finds it, they’re going to think you’re a pervert,’ I said.”
Madoff was flirtatious and had a habit of making sexually suggestive remarks: “‘Oh, you know you’re crazy about me,’ he would say to me. Sometimes when he came out of his bathroom, which was diagonal to my desk, he would still be zipping up his pants. If he saw me shaking my head disapprovingly, he would say, ‘Oh, you know it excites you.’ If a pretty young woman came in, he’d say, ‘Do you remember when you used to look like that?’ I’d tell him, ‘Knock it off, Bernie,’ and he’d go, ‘Ah, you still look good.’ Then he’d try to pat me on the ass.”