Madoff

  • News

    Madoff Daughter-in-Law, Grandchildren Looking To Ixnay On The Adoffmay Amenay

    It’s not that Stephanie Madoff, wife of Mark, sister-in-law of Andy, D-in-L of Bernie and Ruth isn’t proud of the name or family she married into. Far from it. It’s just that she’s been thinking about it and it just doesn’t “mesh” so well with the image she’s going for. Stalin would be better. Or, […]

    / Feb 25, 2010 at 12:29 PM
  • News

    Who Wants A Piece Of Arki Busson?

    Great news ladies and shemales of SAC– EIM founder Arki Busson, the smiliest financier around, has called off his engagement to Uma Thurman. Supposedly Busson’s major Madoff losses may have played a part in the split– Uma walked off in a “huff” about something– though it was reportedly AB who cut the cord. So, sad […]

    / Dec 8, 2009 at 12:47 PM
  • News

    Nice Work If You Can Get It

    Madoff trustee Irving Picard and his humble Cleveland law firm have submitted their bills for the last five months. The total: more than $22 million. That’s on top of the $15.7 million they made for their first four-and-a-half months on the job. Breakdown follows.

    / Nov 23, 2009 at 1:50 PM
  • News

    The Week In Hedge Fund Fraud

    Admit it: You’re bummed that the Bear Stearns fraud trial has ended in a flash of prosecutorial incompetence and 12 potential clients for Ralph Cioffi and Matthew Tannin. We are, too. But fear not, friends, there’s an embarrassment of hedge fund fraud riches out there to continue to follow, and we thought we’d offer a […]

    / Nov 11, 2009 at 4:34 PM
  • News

    SEC Gets Help To Understand This Whole Hedge Fund Fraud Thing

    Imagine you are the financial services regulator for a really big, rich country. The biggest and richest, even. Now, you are really bad at catching fraud. I mean really, really bad. You can’t even do it when a guy is stealing literally billions of dollars and you’re looking right at it; you’re no good at […]

    / Nov 4, 2009 at 12:09 PM
  • News

    Madoff Investor (And Possible Accomplice) Jeffry Picower Drown Due To “Massive Heart Attack”

    …according to his lawyer. Just like Seth Tobias (missed every day).

    / Oct 26, 2009 at 1:09 PM
  • News

    Andy And Mark Madoff Sued On Grounds That They Are Complete Morons

    Irving Picard promised Sunday that he would bankrupt Andy and Mark Madoff and he was not kidding! The spawn of Satan, along with their cousin Shana and uncle Peter, have been sued for $199 million. The good news is that they’re not being accused of actually taking part in the Ponzi scheme, but only for […]

    / Oct 2, 2009 at 3:27 PM
  • News

    Madoff Victims Called Out

    With the flood of tales of heartbreak and financial ruin from King Ponz still coming in, less than 24 hours after Bernie learned what sentence he will be appealing, someone stepped up to the plate and called the Madoff victims “greedy”. In a Squawk Box Europe interview, Hugh Hendry, chief investment officer at Eclectica, fought […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 9:48 AM
  • News

    Bernie’s Slightly More Legitimate Legacy Lives On In The Lipstick Building

    The part of the House of Ponz that wasn’t lying to people and stealing their money has a new keeper. Surge Trading is the new owner of Bernie’s market making business and their CEO is ready to lead the former Madoff-ites into the future- albeit from the same address. “I am proud to be working […]

    / Jun 18, 2009 at 4:52 PM
  • News

    Madoff Victims Try To Out Ponzi The Ponz Himself

    It appears as though one great fraud deserves another. A group of Madoff victims is taking a page out of Bernie’s book and asking a federal bankruptcy judge to reconsider the way their losses are being calculated. Their magic formula is one part backward logic, one part betting that a judicial system that awarded damages […]

    / Jun 8, 2009 at 11:26 AM
  • News

    Madoff Accountant Bienes Soul Searches: “God Wanted Us To Have This”

    That’s the answer Michael Bienes came up with when he paused one day to wonder if something was awry at Madoff Securities, which we’ll likely hear more on in the upcoming PBS investigation “The Madoff Affair,” airing next Tuesday. Also interviewed for the flick are Tremont founder Sandra Manzke, and Sherry Cohen, former assistant to […]

    / May 6, 2009 at 2:36 PM
  • News

    Madoff Was Huge Massage Parlor Fan, Says Secretary

    As previously discussed ’round these parts, your secretary knows everything about you, such as, specifically, your dietary habits, and, more generally, your web of lies and bull shit and deceit. For all those reasons, you really need to think twice about firing her. On the off-chance you get hauled off to the big house (after […]

    / May 6, 2009 at 8:37 AM
  • News

    “Dear Shareholder, we are truly sorry that we have all been victimized.”

    Of course, we loved “Dear Shareholder” letters before Bernie Made-off was a twinkle in our pseudo-journalistic eyes, but he has certainly raised the bar. Consider the latest offerings from Gabriel Capital Group, overseeing the Merkin-managed Ariel Fund: In light of the fraud’s devastating impact on our portfolio and, in particular, on our liquidity, we believe […]

    / Jan 20, 2009 at 12:36 PM

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