Make Money Money Take Money Money

  • 05 Mar 2014 at 8:30 AM

Bonus Watch ’14: Ex-Fed Chiefs

For the last eight years, up until February 3, 2014, Ben Bernanke toiled away in Washington as a public servant. He took a lot of crap for not a lot of money (compared to what he could’ve been making in the private sector) and he’s got the JoS A. Bank suits to prove it. Was he happy to answer the call of duty? Sure. Will he think of his time at the Eccles Building fondly? You betcha. Is he more than ready to open his mouth and make it rain to the tune of $6,250/minute? Ya got that right. Read more »

  • 30 Aug 2012 at 4:12 PM

Bonus Watch ’13: LightSquared

Harbinger Capital-backed LightSquared is a wireless venture that seeks to create “convenient connectivity for all.” Unfortunately, as the Wilbur Falcone fans among us know, it’s looking like it’ll be a dark day in hell before that happens, on account of bunch of forces working together to shut this thing down at every turn, including but not limited to the yachting community that claims GSP interference caused by LS will result in boats getting lost at sea; the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration, which has said LightSquared “may degrade precision services that track hurricanes, guide farmers and help build flood defenses”; and the FAA, which recently put out a study estimating LS could “cost 794 lives in aviation accidents over 10 years with disruptions to satellite-aided navigation.” Also not helping is the fact that LightSquared filed for bankruptcy in May, the company is blowing through cash faster than Wilbur’s Studio 54 days, and senior executives won’t stop quitting. While some people might take stock of the situation and decide, at this point, to throw in the towel, Wilbur Falcone’s benefactor is not some people. He’s making this thing work if it’s the last thing he does. So, what now? Obviously a couple of miracle workers are going to be needed and the thing about miracle workers is that they don’t come cheap. Gotta spend money to make money. Read more »

In 2010, the 10 best paid hedge fund managers made a combined $17.53 billion. To score a place on the list, you had to earn at least $440 million. 2011? The group took home a collective pool of $10.15 billion (down 42 percent) and a mere $210 million got you access to the VIP lounge. So, lots to reflect on today re: how game can be upped this year, whether it’s by coming into work and acting like you actually want it, increasing fees to 5&75, or passing the on the burden of staff salaries to investors. Something else to think about? The fact that Uncle Jim Simons beat all you fools for a second place finish and technically doesn’t even have a job. (Bridgewater Mentor Ray Dalio also did okay for himself.) Read more »

As you may have heard, earlier this week Charles Sheen (née Carlos Irwin Estevez) joined Twitter, gaining approximately five trillion followers in under an hour. So far the pearls of wisdom proffered from Sheen’s firebreathing fists/fingers have included: “Face it folks, you just feel better when you say it. #WINNING,” “I’m here for my people..!” and, in response to one from P. Diddy (“can u please send me the address to ur house? Ive been dreamin about a party like this all my life! See u soon! Lol”), “Get dressed my man… sending the driver..!” Most people probably assumed Chuck signed up to add another dimension to his latest bit of performance art but that’s actually not the case. Sheen, who also this week demanded a 50% pay raise to return to the show he’s been fired from, did it from the cash money. Read more »

UBS lost a lot of money over the last few years. Some might call it as metric-ass tons of money, others will say shit-tons. Whatever, the point is, it was a lot. A whole lot. The Swiss bank has recently begun a PR offensive that involves the message “it will not rest” until it regains its rightful place as the most majestic bank in all the land but do they have an actual plan re: how they’re gonna make the back? It appears they do. Read more »