“Our junior guy came in this morning hung over and stinking like booze. After a few of us made comments on how awful he looked, he responded by letting us know that he’s in good enough shape to run a marathon, right now. Almost in sync and without hesitation, we said “done.” He named his price: $1000 (WAY TOO LOW) and within 2 minutes, he had $1000 cash on his desk. He just left the trading floor and is headed back to his apartment to change into running clothes. He initially said he could finish the 26.2 in less than 5 hours in his work clothes as long as we let him change into sneakers. We decided to let him change into running gear, since we’re good guys, but he still has the 5 hour time limit. We’re tracking him via his iPhone’s GPS. Happy Friday.”
CFTC’s Exhaustive Internal Review To Determine Whether Or Not Jon Corzine And Chairman Gary Gensler Had A “Too Close” Relationship Reveals Corzine Was The Kind Of Guy To Make A Big Show Of Signing Up For Athletic Events And Coming Up With An Excuse Not To Do Them At The Last Minute, While Gensler Was The Kind To Smirk And Passive Aggressively Ask If You Were “Actually” Going To Do It This Time
The memo even explored why Gensler ran the New York Marathon with Corzine’s number more […]
We want to invite you out for a night of drinking and yelling that we’re hosting alongside our bros at Above the Law. Join us on Feb 18th in NYC for an open bar and a short panel discussion featuring special guests! Think of it as a boozy safe space to defend your role in the destruction of America.