Speaking of flying, the money manager/swindler discusses the time he faked his own death, and the events leading up to it (apparently he got home for dinner and his wife had only set out four plates and that’s when he knew “it was all over” because “the fifth plate was always mine”).
Marcus Schrenker
DB CooperMarcus Schrenker was arraigned today and quickly pleaded “not guilty” to the charges of intentionally destroying an aircraft and faking a distress call. His public defender (wow that sucks), obviously reacting to the “not guilty” plea, has indicated that he has “reasonable cause” to believe Schrenker is suffering from a mental condition. (We are guessing acute Gottagetawayfromthiscastratingbitchwiththecashitis, but the situation is fluid).
Pilot pleads not guilty in plane crash death hoax [CNN]
The Post gives us this tantalizing hint on the possible status of Marcus Mistress Kelly Baker describing the days and moments before his last fateful flight:
Days before he tried to fake his death in a bizarre plane crash, accused swindler Marcus Schrenker pulled another brazen stunt – whisking his mistress away for a New Year’s Eve tryst in Florida as authorities raided his wife’s Indiana home.
The rogue investment manager, 38, flew girlfriend Kelly Baker, 31, to Key West….
She and Schrenker flew back home New Year’s Day and are seen in the videotape lounging at a table in the airport lobby.
“She was sick – probably from the night before,” said a source who saw the couple’s return.
[...]
Video footage shows [Schrenker] calmly loading and checking his plane, and doing doughnuts on the snowy airfield in a pickup truck before takeoff.
On The Wings Of Lust [New York Post]
He was going to have to face extradition once he healed up, but now it looks like he’ll face federal charges first. The federal charges are a bit of a bore, including intentional communication of a false distress message and willfully damaging, destroying or wrecking an aircraft (this is all you guys could come up with? Where’s the gratuitous terrorism charge? That’s a piece of cake to manage with any crime that includes an airplane!) but they are likely to stick. Hard. After that? The good graces of Indiana’s fraud cases await him.
As blind as justice is supposed to be, no one is going to be very amused and Schrenker is unlikely to catch a break. Anywhere.
Contrary to prior reports, apparently his suicide attempt was pretty credible. CNN reports that he was “bleeding so profusely when he was found that he likely would not have survived another hour without medical help.”
Timing is everything, Marcus.
Captured pilot awaits doctors’ orders [CNN]
Heritage Wealth Management, LLC, a San Diego firm apparently having nothing to do with everyone’s favorite DB Cooper wannabe is enduring quite a branding thanks to an unfortunate coincidence, namely, the similarity in name to Schrenker’s “Heritage Wealth Management, Inc.
A notice on the San Diego firm’s website informs us:
Please be assured that our company, Heritage Wealth Management, LLC, has no connections or affiliations with Marcus Schrenker, the Indianapolis-based company or its associates.
Heritage Wealth Management, LLC is an independently-owned firm and Registered Investment Adviser registered with the Securities & Exchange Commission (SEC). We are required by law to disclose any and all material affiliations; either with persons or with entities which can be verified here.
Earlier: Today’s Ponzi Trifecta Begins?
Everyone’s favorite DB Cooper wannabe apparently emailed a friend, and author of atGeist.com, Tom Britt, to plead his innocence:
Britt said Schrenker claimed in the e-mail that he had done nothing wrong and detailed the moments before he bailed from the plane.
“He said he panicked. He blacked out. He was disoriented when he landed. He was trying to explain to me his side of the story,” Britt said.
We totally understand. That’s a very traumatic experience you went through, Marcus.
CNN reports some other interesting details:
Though his state license to operate as a compensated financial adviser was revoked December 31st when his firm was raided, that didn’t stop him from supposedly working through January 5th.
His wife filed for divorce the day before the raid. (Hmmmm! We need to put this girl and Andy Madoff’s wife together and build a fund around them. Talk about timing!)
Marcus was “disturbed” by what he was reading on CNN and Britt’s website (Your Blackberry is going to give you away, Marcus! Don’t do this to us. We voted for ‘Marcus Flies Free Forever’) and wanted to set the record straight. (From Mexico, one assumes).
A judge has issued an arrest warrant and set $4 million in bail. (That seems low to us, but it was in Indiana, after all).
We are no experts on Indiana law, but might be propose this:
1. Despondent from your wife’s bitter and seditious betrayal (that whore!) and the recent death of your father, you decided to take a nice, relaxing flight and do some late night canoeing. You figured you’d fly down to Florida, drop the plane off and join your friends up in Alabama for some Deliverance/Southern Comfort action. We understand. Really. No need to explain, we’ve seen the family pictures, the upside-down mousepad. We know all the secret codes.
2. Somewhere over Alabama, a can of warm seltzer water exploded. The sound is remarkably like a catastrophic windscreen failure, you know. (Try it!)
3. Convinced that you have been sprayed with glass, and mistaking the warm seltzer water for blood, your eyes stinging and panic setting in, you did the only reasonable thing- what any pilot would do in the same circumstance: you activated the autopilot. How it got set for 2,000 feet, you will never know.
4. Realizing that you were actually close to your Alabama destination, and that landing would be impossible with your badly damaged eyes anyhow, you pulled out the parachute you always keep on board, just in case.
How To Properly Escape Capture Following Your Massive (or Relatively Massive) Financial Fraud: A Dealbreaker Guide:
By Equity Private
Disappointed by the alarming dearth of intelligence in the modern criminal mind, and with the eventual goal of providing more interesting and alluring white-collar crime mysteries for our readers, we have developed this guide in order to give the modern financial thief a fighting chance at remaining “at large” for at least 60-90 days after consummating a significant fraud.
We at Dealbreaker are dedicated to the preservation of entertaining white-collar crime stories. This seems the most effective way to increase their number.
Below you will find a series of financial crime cover-up “Do’s” and “Don’ts.” Obviously, however, we frown on unethical behavior in any form, and you should always consult your professional financial, legal and tax advisers before embarking on a multi-year flight from justice.
Do: Prepare your escape well before your imminent discovery.
There is nothing worse than trying to plan the many tiers of logistics that are required to effectuate a decent escape and prepare a livable fugitive lifestyle while under time pressure. Rushing things tends to create transparent plans, needlessly involves co-conspirators and makes for bad decision making. (Parking your SUV in the field of view of a video camera when pretending to jump from a local bridge famous for suicide attempts, for instance). Time will permit you to disable the relevant cameras before the attempt, or select a proper location without such perfect coverage.
Don’t: Lose your cool in the face of time pressure if your plans go awry, or if you failed to make any plans or anticipate your imminent discovery.
Ok, we were wrong: There is something worse than trying to plan the many tiers of logistics that are required to effectuate a decent escape, like voluntarily having a conversation with a policeman an hour after you declared an in-air emergency and faked your own death and, in the course of that conversation, handing over your real driver’s license. This is panic-driven behavior. Not to rub it in, but if you had worked on the time part, you’d be better off. Since you didn’t, however, keeping your cool is pretty essential. If you aren’t up for that, well, perhaps you should have concentrated on HVAC work?
Do: Lose the wife/girlfriend/boyfriend. Period. Seriously. No, seriously.
You aren’t doing her a favor by including her in your plans and forcing upon her the choice of either being a co-conspirator, an accessory before the fact, and probably after the fact, or keeping silent and facing significant prosecutorial pressure to turn on you (which will eventually prevail- how exactly do you think she will handle the asset freeze?), or turning you in right after you walk out the door. Besides, once you hit the beach in Venezuela, she’s going to look a lot older, and far less appealing in a swimsuit than you remembered- particularly compared to the local women. Plus, you will face the burden of owing everything to her and that is simply not a weight that a woman like that is going to let a man forget. Ever. Never ever. The Saks Fifth Avenue in Caracas is no Saks Fifth Avenue at all. This alone should be reason to end all argument on this topic. You will likely prosper with the chance to begin again. She is assured not to. If you absolutely must include her in your plans (perhaps she was the firm’s CFO, will be able to cast serious doubt on your tragic death story, etc.) then make sure to conceal the body well before your arrival in Venezuela.
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