marijuana

  • 15 May 2013 at 3:22 PM

‘Marijuana Hedge Fund’ Not Actually A Marijuana Hedge Fund

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HedgeCo.Net today offers the exciting prospect of a very, very specialized alternative investments product in one hell of a headline. Alas, as becomes clear as one reaches the end of this press release-ish piece, a pot hedge fund is simply too stupid an idea to be true. But investing in a weed-laced munchies manufacturer? Some think that is a less stupid idea.

Latteno has been approached by several small cap hedge funds and boutique investment houses about a near term private placement and cash infusion to fund its growth and acquisitions.

And what has these hedge funds and boutique I-banks so excited? Read more »

  • 15 Aug 2012 at 12:51 PM

Deutsche Bank Managing Director, LAPD Not Yet Seeing Eye To Eye On Savage Beating “Incident”

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Yesterday afternoon, Deutsche Bank vice chairman and managing director Brian Mulligan filed a claim with the city of Los Angeles, letting it be known that he plans on suing for $50 million, over an altercation with the LAPD that left Mulligan with “a broken shoulder blade and 15 nasal fractures.” According to the media banker, he was minding his own business one night in May, when a couple of officers approached him, asked him what he was doing in the vicinity of a marijuana dispensary, searched his car (where they found a few thousand dollars), drove him to a motel and told him to wait there. Several hours later, still waiting, Mulligan says he started to become suspicious and decided to leave, at which point the officers returned and “began ruthlessly beating him” so badly he “barely looked human” when they were done. If this had happened to you, you might be a little upset too! The LAPD, however, claims that Mulligan has no reason to be angry with them and, in fact, owes the officers an apology, for his “outburst of erratic behavior.” Read more »

  • 03 Jan 2012 at 7:26 PM

Convicted Ponzi Guru Scott Rothstein Wasn’t Worried About Whores, Hotboxing Derailing His Scam

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Not sure how many people here know this, but there’s an old saying that when one is running on Ponzi scheme, one needs total focus. It’s a lot of work defrauding investors and while some activities by your staff are tolerable (smoking weed in every corner of the office, as well as the parking garage and the courtyard out back and having sex with prostitutes on the desk), a line must be drawn at those which create unacceptable distractions, like dealing said pot and purveying said prosties. If that doesn’t make any sense or you’re confused at the finely drawn distinction, perhaps convicted Ponzster Scott Rothstein, who was deposed on the matter today, can shed some light. Read more »

  • 07 Sep 2010 at 10:15 AM

Hedge Fund Investor Relations Chick Arrested For Running Pot Farm Out Of Her House, Claims It Was Actually A Petting Zoo

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As recently as the beginning of last week, Tara Bryson worked in the investor relations department of Connecticut-based hedge fund New Stream Capital. A couple days later, the firm, which is owned by her brother, suspended Bryson pending an investigation into the matter of her being arrested for growing weed in her backyard (the narcotics task force referred to the set up as “a complex marijuana cultivation operation capable of producing a marijuana crop year round”). Bryson was charged with possession of marijuana, cultivation of marijuana and conspiracy to cultivate marijuana, while her live-in boyfriend got seven felonies, including “possession of a silencer for firearms and operating a drug factory.” But, you know, that’s just like the cops’ opinion. Hearl clearly being the brains of this operation says he and the GF are innocent and that the charges are “bogus.” And he can prove it with a couple of exceptional excuses. Read more »