As you may have heard, later today Jamie Dimon will once again testify on Capitol re: a certain whale’s multi-billion dollar losses. Unlike last week’s hearing, conducted by the relatively reasonable Senate Banking Committee, this time Dimon will face questions and screeching from the relatively bat-shit House Financial Services Committee, a group of people we hope will not hold back. Yet despite the HFSC’s history of making witnesses look good, not matter how egregious their offense, by conducting inquiries in a manner that would suggest recreational bath salts abuse by the Congressmen and women, Bloomberg’s Tom Keene was still worried earlier this morning about Dimon’s ability to navigate the hearing. One person who wasn’t? Keene’s Bloomberg TV Surveillance guest Meredith Whitney. According to the analyst, Dimon be more than fine and while we’re on the subject, not that you asked, she can think of another bank CEO who’d crack under Congressional questioning on account of the fact that he doesn’t have Dimon’s eyes, which you could get lost in. Read more »
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Meredith Whitney Not Worried About Jamie Dimon’s Ability To Handle House Financial Services Committee, Unlike Some Chief Executives She Knows
By Bess LevinThe massage enthusiast’s year-long house arrest has come to an end today (it was preceded by jail time), The Daily Beast informs us with the no-frills headline “Billionaire Pedophile Goes Free.” What will Epstein do with his freedom? Will he head to Dubai, as has been suggested? Will he make the trip out to Beamers, where there’s a reasonable assurance the girls are over 14? Will he remain in Palm Beach, having come to appreciate the asses o’ octogenarians? I don’t know. I’ll tell you what I do know, though. There’s only one way to commemorate this occasion. And I think you know what I’m talking about. Read more »
Break out the massage oils, ladies “Jeffrey Epstein will be a free man next week when his year-long probation ends. The billionaire, who’s been under house arrest since last July, will no longer need permission to travel. A source said Epstein — a registered sex offender because he pleaded guilty to soliciting teenage masseuses for sex — plans to move to Dubai.” [NYP]