MBA v CFA

  • kellybensimon

    News

    Northeastern University’s Business School Adds Real Housewife To Class Of 2016

    The D’Amore-McKim School of Business has accepted Kelly Bensimon of Real Housewives of New York and Bikini Book fame.

    / Jan 28, 2013 at 5:06 PM
  • cfa1

    News

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Level I Results

    Are you among the 37% of candidates who passed the December 2012 exam? Are you going to celebrate by allowing yourself one night off from studying and then cracking the Level II books first thing tomorrow morning?

    / Jan 22, 2013 at 11:52 AM
  • 2008_ford_econoline-cargo_cargo-van_e-250_fq_oem_1_500

    News

    Harvard Business School Alum Has A 4-Point Plan For Fixing The Election Process In The United States

    On November 6, 2012, as the results of the presidential election rolled in, a member of the Harvard Business School Class of 2010 considered ending it all. “The thought crossed my mind to jump off my penthouse apartment balcony,” he wrote his fellow classmates yesterday. Sure, he had a lot to live for: friends, family, the earthly delights afforded to him by living in Southern California (“surfing, mountains, 78 degree sunshine, and hot babes everywhere”), as well as a new company and all that came with it (relationships with celebrities that straddle the line between “friend and service provider,” as well as invites to “the VMAs and private concerts in Vegas”). But he also had a lot of reasons to be good and angry at the world, including but not limited to: the state of California being “filled with so many hippie liberals” he just might snap and in doing so “choke out a street bum,” people who “sit around with their hand out and expect to be fed,” and, most vexingly, the reelection of Barack Obama.

    And while he did not in fact end up leaping from his penthouse balcony apartment that night, make no mistake, he was and is exceedingly pissed about the direction this country is going, which is south on the Pacific Coast Highway right straight to hell. And whereas the endless stream of bums and hobos and hippies he encounters each and every day the second he steps out of his penthouse apartment probably would take the easy way out, because that’s what they do, he’s better than that. So instead, he went to bed, got up, sat down at his computer and channeled his anger into something productive: a list of suggestions for how we can get America back on track and in four years, rest it from the hands of the commie holding it hostage, like forcing candidates to use bullet points and telling people who don’t believe in capitalism to pack their shit because in 20 minutes a van is coming to ship their non-contributing zero asses off to a country where it’s not actually a “privilege” to live.

    First, though, some life updates, because it really has been too long.

    / Nov 27, 2012 at 10:53 AM
  • News

    Hire This Guy’s Wife And/Or Steal The Idea For Your Own Job Search

    As the results of a recent survey given to Harvard Business School’s Class of 1986 show, holding an MBA does not ensure one a job for life, particularly in these tough economic times (nearly half of all of respondents said they had been laid off or fired at least once). This summer has not been […]

    / Aug 31, 2012 at 3:11 PM
  • News

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Level III Results

    Fifty-two percent of you are walking on sunshine. Your bags are packed, you’re ready to go. Next stop: CFA Camp. The rest of you need a hug or for your colleagues to at least do you the courtesy of leaving you alone for five minutes to JO&C.

    / Aug 7, 2012 at 11:56 AM
  • News

    Let’s Talk About: How Many Of You Are One Step Closer To CFA Camp?

    Thirty-eight percent of Level I takers and forty-two percent of Level II’ers have reason to feel pretty good about your lives this morning.

    Your studying was worth it, your plans are right on track, the promise land is so close you can taste it. The rest of you are likely feeling less good. Your (hours and days and weeks and months) of studying did not end up being worth it, you’re right back where you started, and the path to the quote ultimate honor unquote–the land of milk and honey and stacks of CFA exams in need of grading, as high as the eye can see– seems littered with insurmountable obstacles. Your family and friends and colleagues told you they never wanted to hear those three little letters in that sequence again but if you need to vent, we’re listening. You’re safe here.

    / Jul 24, 2012 at 10:30 AM
  • News

    What Percentage Of Harvard Business School’s Class Of 1986 Is Lying About How Much Weight They’ve Gained?

    For its 25th reunion last year, the members of Harvard Business School’s class of 1986 were asked to fill out an 85 question survey to give their former classmates a picture of where life has taken them since the gang parted ways. In addition to standard queries like “how much money are you making” (median annual net income: $350,000, median personal net worth: $6 million), “did you start a business” (36 percent said yes), “was choosing to attend Harvard Business School the best decision you’ve ever made” (48 percent responded that it was “one of the best decisions of my life,” 1 percent boldly claimed “it was not a particularly productive use of my time or money”), and how many times have you been laid-off and/or fired (4 percent have been “involuntarily dismissed” three times, 13 percent twice, and 47 percent once) the questionnaire writers dug quite a bit deeper to find out that:

    A quarter of them are wanton little shoe whores.

    One in four own 25 or more pairs of shoes (58% of the women and 15% of the men).

    A third of them are actual whores.*

    A third of the class (33%) admitted to having slept with someone whose last name they didn’t know (37% for men, 17% for women).

    Ninety-seven percent of them are getting laid on the reg.

    Just 3% of the alums say they want more sex. The highest priorities? Time (31%), health (18%), and peace of mind (13%).

    (Poets&Quants, which obtained the results of the survey, interpreted the above as being indication that “sex isn’t a very high priority for the Class of 1986″ though couldn’t it just as easily be indication that they’re getting enough already, figuring asking for 6 times/day instead of 5 would be greedy?)

    A quarter are on a boat.

    25% own a boat.

    As many as three percent may have wed a mail-order bride.

    Some 18% dated someone they met online, but only 3% of the class married the person they met on the Internet or by some “other commercial means.”

    Three percent are that guy.

    What did the class find to be the most valuable part of getting an MBA from Harvard?…Some 3% said it was “something to drop into cocktail party conversations.”

    And approximately three-quarters of these people, aged 53-55, are bald-faced liars.

    Slightly more than one in four alums have gained 11 to 20 pounds since they wore their cap and gown. Some 15% put on 21 to 30 pounds, while 5% tip the scales with weight gains of 31 to 50 pounds.

    More than a little suspect.

    Love, Sex & Money: A Revealing Class Portrait of The Lives of Harvard MBAs [Poets And Quants]
    *We kid the Class of ’86. Though hopefully for next year someone will have the balls to actually ask if you knew their name, period, if you could pick them out of a line up, and so on and so forth.

    / Jul 17, 2012 at 1:52 PM
  • News

    Let’s Exchange Heated Words Over: Business School Rankings

    US News has regaled us with its annual ranking of the top business schools. I know you need a safe space to get huffy about perceived slights (be it your MBA program being lower than you believe is accurate or by having to suffer the indignity of an inferior institution being too close on the […]

    / Mar 13, 2012 at 12:58 PM
  • News

    This Is A Picture Of Tyra Banks Posing With Her Degree From Harvard Business School

    Related: “A slideshow of me raising my hand in class” [@tyrabanks, earlier]

    / Feb 23, 2012 at 4:59 PM
  • News

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Level I Results

    Thirty-eight percent of the December™ Level I™ test-takers test-takers learn by email today that they’re one step closer to being able to guarantee investment results. As for your humble correspondent …

    / Jan 24, 2012 at 10:27 AM
  • News

    Conservative CFA Seeks Employer Looking To Kill Two Birds With One Hire (Making $$$ And Taking Down Commies)

    Are you an asset manager looking to do some hiring? Have you interviewed a bunch of so-so candidates but have chosen to hold out for you dream employee, as unlikely as it might be that one person would possess all you desire? Does your list include: 1) A guy who will make you and your […]

    / Jan 3, 2012 at 11:47 AM
  • News

    Columbia Business School Presents: “Six Sigma Ninjas”

    Regular Dealbreaker readers know that we spend a lot of time around these parts having the CFA v. MBA debate. Which is most beneficial? Which is worth your time? Which has the highest NPV? Today brings a point in favor of the b-school track, courtesy of Columbia. While business school may offer more opportunities to […]

    / Dec 15, 2011 at 12:49 PM
  • News

    Advice For Anyone Else Planning To Take The CFA Exam For No Real Reason

    As it turns out, the only piece of commenter advice on taking the CFA Level I Exam that I actually followed was “don’t have lunch at Headquarters, the strip club across the street from the Javits Center.” Initially, I wasn’t sure about this advice. When I left the Javits Center for lunch, a part of […]

    / Dec 5, 2011 at 12:15 PM
  • News

    I’m Now Prepared To Guarantee A Future Ability To Guarantee Returns

    I’m back. Did I miss anything? My imaginary CFA results are mid-80% area for both the morning and afternoon sessions. That sounds like it predicts a pass on Saturday, though probably not at a 95% level of significance. (Does it? I have no idea.) The effect of 1 drink before / 1 during the afternoon […]

    / Nov 30, 2011 at 5:44 PM
  • News

    And Now Some Mockery

    I am now going to take a mock CFA exam. In order to replicate actual testing conditions as closely as possible without leaving my apartment, I will do the following: 1. Spend 2 hours* on the first session (120 questions) 2. Lunch, beer 3. Spend 2 hours on the second session (120 questions). Another beer. […]

    / Nov 30, 2011 at 12:33 PM
  • News

    The OCC And I Work Hard To Guarantee Investment Returns

    This is shaping up to be CFA week for me, and with my impending triumph/humiliation I’ve pretty much stopped thinking about much else. I’ve also stopped reading about much else, putting aside Trotsky temporarily to focus on those six stupid books. Yesterday was corporate finance – I can now unlever and relever betas like a […]

    / Nov 29, 2011 at 6:35 PM
  • News

    Things I Did Not Know About The CFA Exam

    Attentive readers may recall that a while back I signed up to take the CFA Level I exam, in order to (1) pursue my passion for standardized testing,(2) expose the secret behind-the-scenes workings of America’s trillion-dollar financial-analysis-certification business, and (3) have a major institution to stand behind my guarantees of consistent above-market investment returns. I […]

    / Nov 28, 2011 at 6:50 PM
  • News

    If He Could Turn Back Time…If He Could Find A Way

    In 2003, things were going pretty well for Todd J. Remis. Great, even. The equity research analyst had left Warburg Pincus Asset Management to found Hygrove Partners LLC, he was living the good life in New York City and he’d recently married Latvia native Milena Grzibovska. The wedding was an intimate affair that included less […]

    / Nov 3, 2011 at 2:09 PM
  • business school, News

    “Students Prefer Larger Postschool Wages But Dislike Studying”

    That’s how two Wharton professors, Daniel Gottlieb and Kent Smetters, model their students in a recent paper that tries to explain why so many business schools have policies – typically adopted by student vote – that prevent students from disclosing their grades to employers. Seems reasonable! We construct a model with students, schools, and employers. […]

    / Oct 3, 2011 at 1:57 PM
  • business school

    Stern B-School Students Offered Second Chance At Once In A Lifetime Opportunity

    Having said that, the chance to soak up the market moving insight of a one Professor $Honey will not last.

    / Sep 16, 2011 at 11:44 AM
  • News

    Bernie Madoff Ethics Course Less Of A Draw Than Business Schools Had Hoped

    If you’re one of Moynihan’s mini-mistmakers and a slowdown in staffing, dwindling office supplies and your MD’s refusal to make eye contact have left you convinced that you’re among the 10,000/40,000/30,000 people whose brief yet brilliant tenure at Old BAC will soon be toasted over rounds at Phil’s Tavern, you may already be thinking about […]

    / Sep 13, 2011 at 3:11 PM
  • News

    Sallie Krawcheck’s Departure One Shitty Deal for Merrill Brokerage Customers

    As we mentioned a while back, part of my training as a new Dealbreaker editor involves getting a CFA charter so that I can use past returns to guarantee future results. To that end, I’ve signed up for the December Level I exam. Thanks for all of your helpful advice on studying, by the way […]

    / Sep 7, 2011 at 3:07 PM
  • News

    Have You Gotten Your ‘I Survived The CFA Exam’ Shirt Yet?

    If yes, did you get the plain boring old one or the one with the tassels?

    / Aug 19, 2011 at 12:42 PM
  • News

    Which One Of You Is Gonna Pass A Stone During The December CFA And Still Finish The Exam?

    In a few short weeks, many financial services employees will begin the soul-crushing, life-sucking process of studying for Level I CFA exam given in December. So you that you don’t look back and realize you wasted 4+ months of your time on earth, most of you are probably hoping to pass. And sure, that’s a […]

    / Jul 29, 2011 at 1:44 PM
  • MBAs, News

    RBC Wealth Management Chief Uses Threat Of Layoffs To Take A Swipe At MBAs

    John Taft, the Chairman of the Securities Industry and Financial Markets Association and the CEO of RBC U.S. Wealth Management, said he’s hearing firms are planning to cut back due to the skittish market and softening economy…He said staff reductions will likely affect all levels—even those with years of experience and expensive MBA degrees. “I […]

    / Jul 21, 2011 at 5:02 PM
  • MBAs, News

    Investment Manager Sues Playboy Modeling Ex-Girlfriend For Writing Herself Blank Check, Tuition Fees

    Until 2007, investment manager Andrew Oberwager and his girlfriend Karolina Stefansi were a happy, highly educated couple in love. Oberwager was a PM at Columbus Circle Partners, who had earned the right to not only put the letters C, F, and A after his signature, but M and D as well, having graduated from Harvard […]

    / Jul 13, 2011 at 5:32 PM
  • MBAs, News

    You’re Not A True CFA Until You’ve Made It To Little-Known Level IV

    For the vast majority of those on the quest to become a Chartered Financial Analyst, there are three tests to be conquered and then they’re set. They’ve gained the keys to the kingdom. Three tests, they think, and you’re in. That’s because these people are not true children of the CFA. If they were, they’d […]

    / Jul 7, 2011 at 1:56 PM
  • MBAs, News

    Ladies Love Wharton, Harvard Business School

    And the feeling is mutual.

    / Jun 13, 2011 at 12:35 PM

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