MBA v CFA

Back in December men and women across the globe sat down to take the first exam in a series of exams that they hoped would, one day in the distant future, allow them to place three little letters next to their name, on their business card, email signature, linkedin profile, and maybe even cock: CFA. In practice it would stand for Chartered Financial Analyst, but in theory, oh, in theory, it would mean so much more.

In the weeks since, they’ve tried to put their test out of their minds. Focus. Be in the present. Not agonize over their answer to the question:

Sammy Sneadle, CFA, is the founder and portfolio manager of the Everglades Fund. In its first year the fund generated a return of 30 percent. Building on the fund’s performance, Sneadle created new marketing materials that showed the fund’s gross 1-year return as well as the 3 and 5-year returns which he calculated by using back-tested performance information. As the marketing material is used only for presentations to institutional clients, Sneadle does not mention the inclusion of back-tested data. According to the Standards of Practice Handbook, how did Sneadle violate CFA Institute Standards of Professional Conduct?

Trying not to think about how they’d done was a fool’s mission, of course, as was attempting not to let their mind wander during particularly boring conference calls, about how they’d react upon receiving a passing score. They’d want to be humble, sure, but a confident humble. After all some of their friends probably would not be so lucky and they’d want to come off as sensitive, even though internally they’d be screaming “Hosanna!” from the mountaintops.

Waking up this morning, however, a sobering thought passed over them: what if they failed? What if the hours, days, weeks, and months spent planning were all for naught? What if the money spent was money down the toilet? What if the significant blows to their personal lives were made in vain? What if they had to return to CFA test prep school with their tails between their legs? What if the week they’d blocked off in their Outlook calendar for CFA Camp 2018 was premature? Read more »

Time was, the name “Wharton” signaled something. Prestige. Power. Off the charts entitlement. A long, proud history of sending students to the National Championship of DCF Modeling and and sending the “competition” home with tears in their eyes. Now, though? Future Masters and Mistresses of the Universe can’t even bother to apply. Read more »

That’s why former Teen Mom cast member Farrah Abraham has elected to enroll in Lubin’s online program, to save her fellow MBA candidates from themselves. Although you won’t see her in any lecture halls, please, if she happens to make an appearance on campus for whatever reason, keep it in your respective pants. Obviously that message goes out to the faculty as well. Read more »

US News has regaled us with its annual ranking of the top business schools. I know you need a safe space to get huffy about perceived slights (be it your MBA program being lower than you believe is accurate or by having to suffer the indignity of an inferior institution being too close on the list), so let it out here and now. Read more »

The D’Amore-McKim School of Business has accepted Kelly Bensimon of Real Housewives of New York and Bikini Book fame. She’ll be commuting via the internet.  Read more »

  • 22 Jan 2013 at 11:52 AM

Let’s Talk About: CFA Level I Results

Are you among the 37% of candidates who passed the December 2012 exam? Are you going to celebrate by allowing yourself one night off from studying and then cracking the Level II books first thing tomorrow morning? Read more »

On November 6, 2012, as the results of the presidential election rolled in, a member of the Harvard Business School Class of 2010 considered ending it all. “The thought crossed my mind to jump off my penthouse apartment balcony,” he wrote his fellow classmates yesterday. Sure, he had a lot to live for: friends, family, the earthly delights afforded to him by living in Southern California (“surfing, mountains, 78 degree sunshine, and hot babes everywhere”), as well as a new company and all that came with it (relationships with celebrities that straddle the line between “friend and service provider,” as well as invites to “the VMAs and private concerts in Vegas”). But he also had a lot of reasons to be good and angry at the world, including but not limited to: the state of California being “filled with so many hippie liberals” he just might snap and in doing so “choke out a street bum,” people who “sit around with their hand out and expect to be fed,” and, most vexingly, the reelection of Barack Obama.

And while he did not in fact end up leaping from his penthouse balcony apartment that night, make no mistake, he was and is exceedingly pissed about the direction this country is going, which is due south on the Pacific Coast Highway right straight to hell. So instead, he went to bed, got up, sat down at his computer and channeled his anger into something productive: a list of suggestions for how we can get America back on track and in four years, wrest it from the hands of the people holding it hostage, like forcing candidates to use bullet points and telling the commies who don’t believe in capitalism to pack their shit because in 20 minutes they’re going to be blindfolded and stuffed into the back of a Ford Econoline van with all the other non-contributing zeroes who don’t understand how much of a privilege it is to live in the greatest country in the world and shipped off to a place where their views will be tolerated, only then finding out what it’s really like to suffer and perhaps finally understand how they’ve destroyed the United States of America with their leftist, hippie, commie/socialist/teat sucking agendas.

First, though, some life updates, because it really has been too long. Read more »