Ryan Payne is a former investment banker who was laid off from his job at the Jordan Edmiston Group in April 2008 and has since remained unemployed. In the beginning, he sent out dozens of resumes and “would’ve done anything” to get his job back, which is ironic given how much he hated it when he had it, particularly the long hours and lack of a social life that resulted in him sleeping under his desk on his birthday in 2007. With over $100,000 in student loans and consumer debt, the Payne, who holds his JD/MBA, moved home and things were pretty dark for a while. “At one point, if I’d had a gun, I wouldn’t be talking to you now,” he told the LA Times. Then one day Payne said fuck this, pulled himself “out of the job orbit” and has never looked back. Continue reading »
MBA v CFA
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MBAs
Lady Hedge Fund Manager/CFA Charterholder Sara Grillo Mentors Young Women Looking To Succeed In Business, Love
By Bess Levin
Sara Grillo is a manager with hedge fund advisor Diamond Oak Capital Advisors and the topic of a recent Bloomberg article. What about Grillo intrigued editors enough to profile her? Without having spoken to anyone over there an educated guess would have to be her ability to overcome obstacles and in doing so, set examples for females trying to break into a male-dominated field. Obstacles such as:
1) Unemployment
Work in a bar. That was a friend’s suggestion for Harvard graduate Sara Grillo after she was laid off from Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. in 2008. Two years later, the hedge-fund analyst is campaigning to get more women into top financial jobs. Grillo, 32, who co-manages hedge fund advisor Diamond Oak Capital Advisors LLC, found herself among 225,000 unemployed finance workers that year as the subprime market collapsed. “If I were a tall, broad shouldered, gray-haired, 50-year- old man with the same credentials, nobody would have suggested I take a job for less than one eighth of my salary,” said Grillo in a telephone interview from her home in Queens, New York City.
2) The fail rate of the venerable CFA exams
Dismayed by friends’ suggestions that she quit finance, Grillo vowed to help more women join the industry, setting a goal of raising the proportion of women Chartered Financial Analysts to 50 percent from the current 19 percent. “I’m a CFA charterholder and I always look women right in the face and tell them that if I did it, they can do it as well…I wanted those letters after my name so badly,” she said. “If it took me 80 years, it was going to say, ‘Sara Grillo, CFA’ on my tombstone.”
3) Cheapskate boyfriends who apparently deserve to be called out in publications read by millions of people. Continue reading »
Are you looking for “love”? Did you attend HBS? Did you do so with the idea in mind that once you graduated, women would be so infatuated with the notion that your cock once took leadership and organizational behavior that you’d be beating them off with a stick? Have things not exactly panned out that way? Take heart! DateHarvardsq.com is here to help. The new dating site matches males who have Harvard MBAs with discerning females who do not. The best part, if you’re a cheap bastard and/or really taken by yourself, is that all the men have to do is sign up, free of charge, and the chicks have to pay for the honor of possibly dating you. Here’s a featured member: Continue reading »
In this tough job market, from time to to time, as we stumble upon them, we like to offer up Do’s and Don’ts for those seeking new gigs. Little pearls of accumulated wisdom picked up in the field. The case study of Jeffrey Chiang, for example, would be a Don’t for those of you looking to improve your situation, professionally speaking. Today we have a Do, courtesy of a pioneering young fellow seeking an opportunity at a private equity firm. And it’s simply this: include head/action shots with your cover letter. Though it’s yet to catch on in fields other than the erotic service industry, including head/action shots can really give you a leg up on the competition. This guy include a head shot and and two (2) action shots of him scaling the Himalays and sailing a boat, which demonstrated a) panache b) that he has interests c) he’s perfected the The Bieber and d) a jaw line that could cut glass. He graduated from college at the age of 20, interned at Merrill Lynch and is currently studying for the Level 1 CFA but who cares about that? It’s the photos that got him in the door. And, as we’ve been informed by the firm at which he’s seeking employment, the pics were apparently impressive enough to allow the potential job-granter to overlook that fact that he “included a link to his ‘work product,’ which seems to be a jacked Wall Street Prep LBO model solution he posted as his completed model,” and he’s been granted an interview. Something for you all to think about. Continue reading »
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MBAs
“Young, Ambitious, Female MBA Student” Is Deadly Serious About Soliciting Investment Banking Gig Via Casual Encounters
By Bess LevinAs I’m sure you don’t need to be told, times are pretty tough right now for those seeking new jobs (or a job, period) on Wall Street. Some have taken the all out begging, stand on a street corner holding wearing a sandwich board approach. Others are going with the traditional route (networking, sending out resumes, hitting up any who’s ever given them a business card). Neither are yielding much in the way of results. And while it might seem counterintuitive, for a person with zero prospects to initiate talks with a potential employer by straight up demanding a job and refusing to even interview for it, maybe it’s something you ought to consider, in addition to taking various other pages from this chick‘s playabook. Continue reading »
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MBAs
Financial Services Rep Not Aware Putting His DNA In Co-Worker’s Water Was Something His Office Frowned Upon
By Bess Levin
These days, if you work on Wall Street and want to let people know that underneath that button down shirt and black pants beats the heart of an absolute freak, you’ve got to step up your game. If you’re going to get your name out there, it’s not enough to simply sexually assault a female colleague– you’ve got to manhandle her breasts with your feet. It’s not enough to sodomize an underling, you’ve also got to piss in his mouth. And if you’re going to “release an offensive material in a public space”– in this case, the material your semen– that space must be your co-worker’s water bottle. Twice. Michael Kevin Lallana knows what we’re talking about. Continue reading »
Forty-six percent of you are likely feeling prettay prettay prettay good this morning, possibly on account of celebratory morning drinks. The rest of you are probably in not as great a place, on account of having just thrown away the last 4-6 months of your lives. Continue reading »
