Merrill Lynch

  • Banks

    BofA Kinda Forgot That Structured Notes Mature

    Ah, 2009: Heady times at Bank of America, what with Merrill Lynch being dropped (/forced) into their lap and all. Still, it does seem rather a big oversight to have failed to account for the fact that bonds and options, you know, don’t last forever—and then to have missed it for four years and almost […]

    / Sep 30, 2014 at 1:45 PM
  • Tom-Brady

    News

    Tom Brady Could’ve Been The Tom Brady Of Merrill Lynch

    Tom Brady Shares His Old Resumé [Deadspin]

    / Sep 18, 2014 at 1:43 PM
  • the good old days

    News

    Broker Junkets Are Back (But Only 70% As Drunk)

    Time was, if you were a successful broker on Wall Street, your company sent you on trips to mingle with other top producing brokers, at which the only planned activities included playing golf, getting drunk, and falling ass-backward into the pool. Then the financial crisis hit and suddenly firms couldn’t afford the bad press associated […]

    / Jul 30, 2014 at 6:13 PM
  • shrunken bull on offending b-card

    BusinessCardGate

    BofA Employees Respond To Merrill Lynch Business Card Complaints With Graphic Images Of Flag-On-Bull

    Earlier this week, we learned that Bank of America has a number of very unhappy ex-Merrill Lynch brokers on it hands. Their beef? New business cards that feature a slightly smaller bull than in times past, an obvious affront, as they see it, to the Merrill brand. While no formal demands have been made, it’s […]

    / Jun 20, 2014 at 8:30 AM
  • the offending card

    News

    Merrill Lynch Brokers See Shrunken Bull As Line In The Sand

    As many of you will recall, back in 2008, then Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis agreed to buy Merrill Lynch. While it wasn’t a Countrywide-level disaster of an acquisition (i.e. a bomb that’s never stopped going off), it wasn’t Lewis’s best laid plan, which is why he actually tried to get out of the […]

    / Jun 18, 2014 at 12:01 PM
  • how bad do you want it

  • Screen Shot 2014-03-05 at 5.32.48 PM

    News

    Charlie Gasparino Would Like To Rewrite Fraud Statutes, To John Thain’s Detriment

    [via @cgasparino, earlier]

    / Mar 5, 2014 at 5:51 PM
  • Charles E. Merrill. Oh what you thought it was founded by a bull?

    News

    So Long, Merrill Lynch!

    There are a lot of things in the financial industry that you could legitimately get upset about and so it seems sort of wasteful when people go around getting upset about the other things.1 Like: the too-big-to-fail banks have a lot of subsidiaries, which is bad for some reason. Complexity! Opacity! Subsidiaries. I dunno.2 Anyway […]

    / Aug 16, 2013 at 3:00 PM
  • Banks

    UBS Dethroned By Upstart At European Brokerage Tonys

    Feel free to exchange exultations, insults and sour-grape rationalizations below.

    / Jun 10, 2013 at 2:45 PM
  • johnthain

    News

    Taking Job At Merrill Lynch, Not Decision To Turn Office Into Versailles, Biggest Regret Of John Thain’s Life

    Regrets? John Thain has one. “I wouldn’t have taken the Merrill job,” he said in an interview. “I think that’s probably the single biggest thing.” Mr. Thain’s comments are some of his sharpest yet about life as Merrill Lynch & Co.’s chairman and chief executive. He arrived at the securities firm’s headquarters in lower Manhattan […]

    / Jun 6, 2013 at 1:58 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’13: Merrill Lynch

    Seems the wily and parsimonious Brian Moynihan has found a new way to “squeeze more revenue” from ML branch managers.

    / Jun 3, 2013 at 11:50 AM
  • harvey-schwartz-260x195

    Goldman Sachs

    Goldman Had A Quarter

    Honestly bank earnings week has been a little boring, no? It’s been quarters since anyone announced a six billion dollar trading loss, and the recent news is pretty much modest beats from a diverse mix of businesses and where is the fun in that I ask you. Financial-market memories are short and … have negative […]

    / Apr 16, 2013 at 12:18 PM
  • kenlewisbathroom

    News

    Ken Lewis’s Great Idea Pad Sells For $3.15 Million

    They said it couldn’t be done. They said it didn’t matter if it was $4.5 million or $2.5 million or if they were giving it away. They said potentials buyers wouldn’t be swayed by the pitch to “sleep where Angelo Mozilo hath slept, after a few too many troughs of Boone’s farm” (AKA “The Mozilo Bedroom”), or to impress guests with the cocktail party fodder that “that chair you’re sitting in right now the very one Ken Lewis was sitting in when he decided to buy Merrill Lynch, can’t get better investing karma than that.” They said the vomit stains on the rug would not be a selling point. They were wrong.

    / Feb 6, 2013 at 4:43 PM
  • johncholish

    people who love having the solid food slapped out of their hands

    Financial Services Employees To Spend The Month Of January Subsisting On Garlic-Oregano Shots And Self-Loathing

    …a growing number of self-flagellating New Yorkers who treat — then beat — themselves post-holidays by temporarily giving up vices such as alcohol and sweets, sometimes replacing them with liquid diets (blue-green algae juice and garlic-oregano shots, among them). According to Denise Mari, owner of Organic Avenue, the uber-popular NYC-based juicing mecca, business has doubled […]

    / Jan 4, 2013 at 4:14 PM
  • Also may be unfair to blame Google Docs; my skills have atrophied.

    Banks

    You Fight With Bank Of America Over Bad Mortgages, Bank Of America Fights Back

    Was there mortgage-related misbehavior at Bank of America and its various after-acquired subsidiaries? I wasn’t there, but on public information, I mean, sure, why not. Some days it looks like there was mortgage fraud everywhere. But whereas everyone else is all “sorry about the mortgage fraud” and “here is a large settlement,” BofA is not […]

    / Nov 13, 2012 at 5:51 PM
  • brianmoynihanbofa

    News

    Are You A Financial Services Company Stuffed To Gills With Toxic Assets And/Or On The Verge Of Bankruptcy? Don’t Hold Your Breath For Brian Moynihan’s Call

    Time was, Bank of America loved buying companies. Bonus points if there was a not-so-subtle suggestion by the target’s CEO that BofA would one day be very sorry for doing so, or that they would’ve been better off picking up an asbestos manufacturer, or that they were looking at roughly $40 billion (and counting) in legal fees associated with fuck-ups that were to become Bank of America’s problem, or that they would have night terrors for the rest of their lives about signing those papers. As it’s been a while since BofA went shopping, some in the financial services industry have been wondering if we can expect any announcements re: big deals anytime soon or if Ken Lewis’s unsolicited suggestions (Groupon, Sino Forest, The Thirsty Beaver, and most recently: “a P&C insurer with outsized exposure to the Northeast”) are or have ever been under consideration?

    Sadly for fans of the Lewis Era/style of doing business, not so much.

    Mr. Moynihan said in response to an audience question [at the bank’s two-day investor presentation conference for financial companies at the Plaza hotel] that the bank has “no acquisition plan at all.”

    BofA’s Moynihan Says Fiscal Cliff Impact Already Happening [WSJ]

    / Nov 13, 2012 at 12:40 PM
  • Ken Lewis made this face at Merrill but didn't tell anyone about it.

    News

    Banks Win Some, Lose Some In Shareholder Lawsuits

    A surprising percentage of conversations at Dealbreaker HQ go like this: Bess: Can you really sue someone for [thing someone is suing someone else over]? Matt: Anyone can sue anyone for anything. Bess: Did you even go to law school?1 What you don’t learn in law school, though, is that “what the law says” and […]

    / Sep 28, 2012 at 6:40 PM
  • News

    John Thain Is Ready For His Next Challenge

    After he was unceremoniously fired from his post at the newly formed Bank of America Merrill Lynch, for reasons that included paying out big bonuses to ML executives and decorating his office with $1,500 garbage cans, John Thain understood that he would have to recede from the limelight for a bit. Take a job at a smaller firm and keep his head down for a while. Spend more time with his honeybees. Get back to his fighting weight. Drink a raw egg for breakfast every day. Run up and down the stairs of the Met. Work in a hideously decorated space, no matter how much it hurt.  Win some awards. Get his confidence back. Let people miss him. Well, Thain did all that. And now? He’s ready for you to make him an offer.

    Thain, currently the CEO of a small lending outfit called CIT Group, has been quietly shopping the firm to a larger player with the goal of selling possibly to a big bank and emerging as a candidate to run the bigger company, according to investment bankers with direct knowledge of the matter. Bankers say Thain began putting out feelers to sell CIT after the firm failed in its bid to purchase ING Direct earlier in the year. “They’ve been shopping themselves off and on because they have virtually no deposit base and thus no low-cost source of funds to run their business,” said one banker at a major firm with knowledge of CIT’s activities. “Thain may also be putting out feelers, trying to get a drumbeat going. Who knows, but it’s certain he’s up to something.”

    Anyone want to give him a big boy bank (or something) to run?

    Read more: http://www.foxbusiness.com/business-leaders/2012/09/24/thain-shopping-cit-group-around/#ixzz27QKGqqhE

    Looking For A Comeback, John Thain Shops CIT [FBN]

    / Sep 24, 2012 at 5:11 PM
  • It was hard for him, anyway.

    News

    It’s Just So Hard To Know If It’s Wrong To Take Bribes To Let Day-Traders Eavesdrop On Your Customer Orders So They Can Front-Run Them

    If I want to buy a million shares of Facebook, I could call my broker and tell him “go buy me a million shares of Facebook.” What I would like him to then do is: tell everyone who is looking to sell Facebook that he’s got a buyer, to try to find the best price […]

    / Aug 3, 2012 at 5:23 PM
  • News

    Bill Gross Is Not The Only One Who Feels Fat

    Are your pants getting a little tight? Have you become convinced mirrors have a personal vendetta against you? Are you too distracted by the rolls spilling over your pants to trade? Do you find yourself veering off course in your letters to investors to talk about your love handles? Is it only a matter of time before you lose your firm billions and/or take down the entire market because your fingers are so big they span four keys each on the keyboard? Do you want to do something about it but are repulsed by the idea of healthy eating and exercise and also know yourself well enough to realize that there is no way you’re going to be able to stay strong if everyone around you is eating delicious fried food at lunch and sooner or later you, a usually pretty mild-mannered guy, will be leaping across a row of Bloomberg terminals and threatening to kill a coworker (and meaning it) unless he hands over Ho Ho now? Then round up your tubbiest colleagues and tell them they’re in for a real treat.

    Eric Helms, who founded the four-year-old Cooler Cleanse company with the actress Salma Hayek, says office cleansers now make up 30 percent of his business, and in the last year he has hired three customer-service employees just to handle the details of them. He said there has been a “huge increase in popularity” of cleansing with co-workers in the last year, which he credits to juice diets being more mainstream. “Everyone knows someone who’s done one, and they realize they’re a lot easier to do with colleagues during the workweek,” he said. “People want to indulge” — not sip celery — “on weekends.”

    Recent six-juice-a-day-dieters include employees at Merrill Lynch and the Carlyle Group, she said. In May, Citigroup began offering BluePrintCleanse in some of its Manhattan cafeterias, a spokeswoman said…About two-thirds of cleanse clients over all are women, but corporate cleanses “commonly skew toward men, especially traders, investment bankers and lawyers,” said Jina Wye, director of sales and marketing for BluePrintCleanse, founded in 2007 by two former Hudson Hotel bartenders looking to swap their poisons. (Mr. Helms said 90 percent of his male customers are part of groups.) Ms. Wye said: “These Type-A men have an all-or-none perspective. If they’re going to commit, they do it whole hog.” Most popular among male en masse cleansers: the Excavation cleanse, described on the Web site as “the most intense.”

    And if you want to really crank things up a notch, consider gauging interest in a group colonic to top things off.

    Cleansing From Cubicle To Cubicle [NYT]
    Related: I’m afraid I might tell her to buy a gun and just shoot me before the fat and the cellulite strike again.

    / Jul 12, 2012 at 12:48 PM
  • News

    Caption Contest Friday: John Thain, Excited On The Inside, Accepts Father Of The Year Award

    [Mark_Shriver via BI] Earlier: John Thain Awarded The One Bonus That Can *Never* Be Clawed Back

    / Jun 15, 2012 at 2:11 PM
  • News

    Ken Lewis Just Wanted To Protect Shareholders From Worrying About Merrill’s Massive Losses

    There are two competing theories of how companies should be governed; one says that management should have a lot of leeway to do what it thinks is best and shareholders should keep quiet and, if they’re unhappy, maybe sell their shares; the other says that shareholders own the company and anything that stands in the […]

    / Jun 5, 2012 at 8:54 AM
  • News

    No One Told Ken Lewis Shareholders Needed To Know About Merrill’s Massive Losses, Okay?

    Remember in 2008, when Ken Lewis was all, “Oooh, wait, I don’t know about this Merrill Lynch thing, it looks kinda bad, I don’t think I want to buy it anymore, I’m nervous [bites nails, shifts weight from one foot to the other like he has to pee]” and tried to back out of the deal? And Hank Paulson threatened to stuff him in a meat locker if he did so Lewis said okay, fine, I’ll buy it and then did, without mentioning anything to shareholders about Merrill’s impending losses? Well 1) People are still upset about
    it but 2) Ken was under the impression shareholders were on a need to know basis.

    Top executives at Bank of America Corp did not tell shareholders just prior to a 2008 vote on its purchase of Merrill Lynch & Co that losses were mounting and expected to weigh down earnings for years, papers filed in private shareholder litigation show. But the bank and former Chief Executive Kenneth Lewis said in their own court papers that they should not be liable to shareholders who claimed to have lacked information they needed to vote on the once $50 billion merger. Lewis also said he had been advised by the bank’s law firm and chief financial officer that no disclosure was necessary.

    No further questions.

    BofA masked Merrill loss before 2008 vote: filings [Reuters]

    / Jun 4, 2012 at 1:40 PM
  • News

    Bank Of America Investors Still Don’t Feel Properly Compensated For Having Merrill Lynch Rammed Down Their Throats

    Remember in 2008, when Ken Lewis was all, “Oooh, wait, I don’t know about this Merrill Lynch thing” and tried to back out of buying the bank? And Hank Paulson threatened to stuff him in a meat locker if he did so Ken Lewis said okay, fine, I’ll do it? BAC investors are still upset about that.

    Bank of America directors’ $20 million settlement of investor lawsuits alleging the bank overpaid when it bought Merrill Lynch & Co. amounts to just 4 percent of the board’s $500 million in insurance coverage and is inadequate, lawyers objecting to the accord said. Attorneys for Bank of America shareholders suing in Delaware over the $50 billion acquisition of Merrill Lynch have asked a judge in that state to keep their claims alive even though a federal judge in New York is considering a $20 million settlement of almost identical suits brought by other bank investors. If that accord is approved, it could wipe out the Delaware claims. “The proposed settlement is grossly inadequate and represents only 0.4 percent of the value of the $5 billion derivative claims that the Delaware Derivative Plaintiffs have been vigorously pursuing,” lawyers for the Delaware investors said in a Delaware Chancery Court filing late yesterday. The settlement also amounts to “only 4 percent” of available insurance, they said.

    Disgruntled shareholders contend the board and former Chief Executive Officer Kenneth D. Lewis misled them about the brokerage firm’s losses leading up to the buyout and should have pulled the plug on the deal. Lewis, who left Bank of America in 2009, is now chairman of Chicago-based LaSalle Bank NA.

    [Bloomberg]

    / Apr 27, 2012 at 6:05 PM
  • News

    Penn State Alums/Merrill Lynch Wealth Managers “Struggle” To Understand Why This Had To Happen To Them

    Two weeks back, former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse perpetrated against young boys, including an alleged incident in which Sandusky raped a 10 year-old in the shower. Since then, even more victims have come forward, and it’s been difficult to imagine how they’re coping, particularly when […]

    / Nov 17, 2011 at 12:26 PM
  • News

    Has Brian Moynihan Also Had All The Fun He Can Stand In Investment Banking?

    Probably not, no. The Wall Street Journal reports today that the Fed asked BofA what it would do, just hypothetically, if it got sued even more than it’s already been sued. You might expect “find forty more Warren Buffetts” but BofA has actually got a trickier trick up its sleeve: Executives of the bank recently […]

    / Sep 2, 2011 at 11:04 AM
  • News

    Burt Reynolds Might Need A Place To Crash

    Thanks to Merrill Lynch.

    / Aug 17, 2011 at 5:02 PM
  • News

    Citigroup Was Happy To Hear Ben Stein’s Uninformed Views On The Market Until He Had To Go And Tell Some Sexist Jokes

    On the one hand, it’s nice that Citi had the sense to realize that shitty jokes about women would’ve reflected poorly on the organization, and subsequently disinvited Ben Stein as a keynote speaker for their May 17 event. On the other, the sagely advice that would’ve come out of his mouth (a la this, from […]

    / Apr 28, 2011 at 3:27 PM

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