As some of you may remember, back in fall 2008, Congressman Dennis Kucinich was not at all happy about the idea of bailing out Wall Street. “Let Wall Street bailout Wall Street,” he screeched. “The bailout bill is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said. “Is this the United States Congress or the Board of Directors Of Goldman Sachs?” he asked, losing his shit. He was taking this thing very, very hard and some wondered if perhaps he was having some personal problems. In fact, he was.

You see, just a month after Bear Stearns went down for the dirt nap, and a few prior to Lehman biting the big one, Dennis had an unfortunate run-in with some olives. Olives that he thought were pitted, considering the sandwich on which he purchased them was represented as such. Such, however, was not the case. Those fuckers had pits in them and resulted in an unknowing Kucinich suffering serious emotional and physical distress. We know this because now, three years later, he’s suing the cafeteria that sold him the sando, for $150,000. Continue reading »