• marissamayer


    Marissa Mayer Is Sorry About The Ill-Timed Zzzz’s

    She might’ve dozed off and missed a meeting with top execs, but it wasn’t, like, a hate-nap or anything.

    / Jun 25, 2014 at 8:45 AM
  • ammo


    At London Brokerage, “Only Real Men” Douse Each Other In Water: Lawsuit

    Once upon a time, an Aussie named Robert Bou-Simon worked at London brokerage BGC Partners. In 2005, he left the firm to explore his options elsewhere, and in 2012, rejoined as the head of the basis swaps desk. This time, though, things were different. None of his old buddies were there. There were new names […]

    / May 29, 2014 at 4:15 PM
  • News

    German Court Rules Failure To Notice 222,222,222.22 Euro Whoopsie Not Grounds For Termination

    An obviously tired German bank employee fell asleep on his keyboard and accidentally transformed a minor transfer into a 222 million euro ($293 million) order, a court heard Monday. The Hessen labour court heard that the man was supposed to transfer just 62.40 euros from a bank account belonging to a retiree, but instead “fell […]

    / Jun 11, 2013 at 3:58 PM
  • News

    Exotic Dancer Turned Financial Services VP Wants Long Island To Pay $10 Million For Forcing Her To Have An Affair With Responsibility-Shirking Cop

    Remember Tara Obernauer? For a quick refresher, Obernauer is vice-president at Forbes Private Capital Group, whose resume also includes an MBA from Hofstra, five years as a compliance officer at Guggenheim Capital Markets, and dancing gig at a now-defunct gentlemen’s club called Stringfellows, where she earned “$1,000 a night or more.” Last July she started having an affair with Nassau County police officer Mike Tedesco,* which involved Tedesco literally and figuratively “parking his cruiser in Obernauer’s driveway” during his shift and “hanging out on the couch, watching TV, and taking naps” while letting younger cops, who Tedesco referred to “assist bitches,” respond to calls. The reason we know all this is that Mike’s bosses “compared reports by Obernauer’s neighbors with GPS records from his squad car, [which] showed at least 57 visits” at times he was supposed to be working, and then cross-referenced them with Obernauer, who had no intention of covering for Tedesco after she learned he was married with kids.**

    Anyway, in April Obernauer got an order of protection against the guy, fearing retaliation for not telling Internal Affairs that he was “just a friend who stops by once in a while,” as per his request,** and now she wants Nassau County to cough up a few million for unleashing this animal on her.

    The mistress of a married Nassau County cop — who enjoyed more than 100 nights with him while he was on duty — is threatening to sue the county for $10 million because it didn’t prevent the couple’s steamy romance. Sexy Wall Street exec Tara Obenauer, 42, has filed a notice of claim saying that she intends to sue Nassau County and the Police Department because officials were “negligent” for not keeping Officer Mike Tedesco from visiting her house while he was on duty. “As a result of the County and Tedesco’s negligent and intentional acts, Claimant has suffered and sustained severe and substantial emotional damages,” the notice of claim said.

    Here’s what Nassau County Attorney John Ciampoli had to say about that: “I just think it’s rather ironic that she’s filing a notice of claim against the county. Because, based on what has been reported in the press, she was receiving from the county Police Department a lot more than others were receiving.”

    *Who showed up to her house claiming he’d received a report of loud music, after a colleague who knew Obernauer piqued Tedesco’s interest by telling him “she was good-looking.”
    **To which she responded “They have your GPS records, you moron. I’m not perjuring myself for you. We’re over and I want my key back.”

    / Jul 13, 2012 at 12:10 PM
  • News

    Bloomberg: Everyone Sleeps At The Office

    Are you just waking up from a nap, perhaps your second of the day? Did you take it under your desk, curled up on the conference room floor, or in a bathroom stall? If the idea of regularly catching a few winks at your place of work sounds like a fireable offense, relax: apparently everyone is doing it, says Bloomberg BusinessWeek. Yes, from the people who brought you “90 percent of Wall Street does calisthenics in the middle of the trading floor,” comes “Sleeping On The Job? Good! Overachievers Do.” According to BBW, “many Wall Street types use power-napping to make up for lost sleep,” at the office. Where do these naps take place? Wherever looks comfy and you can fit a pillow and an eye mask if overhead lights are an issue. Got some colleagues who haven’t gotten the memo and continue to rudely pound the keyboard as though they don’t know you’re trying to get some sleep here? One woman recommended “heading out to the car to recharge.”

    Sleepy Bankers Take Secret Naps [Bloomberg]
    Sleeping on the Job? Good! Overachievers Do [BusinessWeek]
    Related: The “Workout Taking Over Wall Street” Involves Treating Your Place Of Work Like Your Own Personal “Curves”

    / Apr 20, 2012 at 4:56 PM
  • News

    Guy Who Vaguely Resembles Lloyd Blankfein A Contender For Lloyd Blankfein’s Job

    Back in April, both the New York Times and Charlie Gasparino claimed they’d heard Lloyd Blankfein was tired. So tired, they were told, that a regular nap would not suffice, but rather an entire lifestyle change was necessary, which included quitting his job. Goldman Sachs said the reports were untrue and reassured us at the […]

    / Jun 27, 2011 at 9:53 AM
  • News

    Anyone Missing A Couple Summer Analysts?

    These two were apparently spotted in Battery Park at 5:15am. Could be staged (Gray Pants’ head-in-lap looks a bit posed and he seems like he’s more sad than passed out) but if you were going to fake something like this, wouldn’t you step it up a little/lot a bit (save for the fact that it’s […]

    / Jun 16, 2011 at 9:17 AM
  • News

    Lloyd Blankfein’s Friends Continue To Tell The Press He Needs A Nap, Might Retire

    A month ago, Charlie Gasparino reported that Lloyd Blankfein’s friends had told him LB was tired of the grind and mulling over stepping down as CEO of Goldman Sachs by the end of the 2011. Goldman denied the story and reassured the world that Lloyd would be with us for many years to come. Apparently […]

    / Apr 18, 2011 at 9:03 AM
  • News

    How Did A Bunch Of Drunk British Traders Locked In An Elevator Deal With Their Liquidity Issues?

    The London Evening Standard reports that 7 British traders (among them, BGC Partners’ head of FX options in London and a Citibank EM options guy) found themselves locked in a lift this week, following an evening of “eating sushi and drinking” with clients. Despite “shouting for help” and “pressing the emergency button,” the group was […]

    / Mar 2, 2011 at 11:03 AM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino: Business World’s Gonna Miss Larry Summers When He’s Gone

    They haven’t had nice things to say about him over the past year and a half. Called him McSleeps a lot and, oh, the jokes about his Diet Coke consumption came fast and furiously. But now that he’s announced he’s taking off, suddenly the business community wants the lovable schlub back, according to Charlie Gasparino. […]

    / Sep 23, 2010 at 11:15 AM
  • News

    Larry Summers To Quit White House After Mid-Term Elections

    According to White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, the nap lover’s impending departure, and those of others on the economic team, is “not a surprise…there will be people who have worked enormously hard over the past few years to make decisions to go back to doing what they did before joining the administration,” such as consulting […]

    / Sep 21, 2010 at 4:25 PM

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