naps

  • 25 Jun 2014 at 8:45 AM

Marissa Mayer Is Sorry About The Ill-Timed Zzzz’s

She might’ve dozed off and missed a meeting with top execs, but it wasn’t, like, a hate-nap or anything. Read more »

Once upon a time, an Aussie named Robert Bou-Simon worked at London brokerage BGC Partners. In 2005, he left the firm to explore his options elsewhere, and in 2012, rejoined as the head of the basis swaps desk. This time, though, things were different. None of his old buddies were there. There were new names to learn and new faces to remember. Even though he’d worked at BGC for the better half a decade in the early 2000s, people treated him like he was the new guy, and, as the new guy, expected him to take part in a sort of wet t-shirt “initiation” exercise taken very seriously by the staff, who bristled at the idea of someone electing to take a pass, which is where things started to go south for Bou-Simon. Read more »

An obviously tired German bank employee fell asleep on his keyboard and accidentally transformed a minor transfer into a 222 million euro ($293 million) order, a court heard Monday. The Hessen labour court heard that the man was supposed to transfer just 62.40 euros from a bank account belonging to a retiree, but instead “fell asleep for an instant, while pushing onto the number 2 key on the keyboard” — making it a huge 222,222,222.22 euro order. The bank discovered the mistake shortly afterwards and corrected the error. The case was taken to court by the man’s 48-year-old colleague who was fired for letting the mistake slip through when verifying the order. The court ruled that the plaintiff should be reinstated in his job. [AFP]

Remember Tara Obernauer? For a quick refresher, Obernauer is vice-president at Forbes Private Capital Group, whose resume also includes an MBA from Hofstra, five years as a compliance officer at Guggenheim Capital Markets, and dancing gig at a now-defunct gentlemen’s club called Stringfellows, where she earned “$1,000 a night or more.” Last July she started having an affair with Nassau County police officer Mike Tedesco,* which involved Tedesco literally and figuratively “parking his cruiser in Obernauer’s driveway” during his shift and “hanging out on the couch, watching TV, and taking naps” while letting younger cops, who Tedesco referred to “assist bitches,” respond to calls. The reason we know all this is that Mike’s bosses “compared reports by Obernauer’s neighbors with GPS records from his squad car, [which] showed at least 57 visits” at times he was supposed to be working, and then cross-referenced them with Obernauer, who had no intention of covering for Tedesco after she learned he was married with kids.

Anyway, in April Obernauer got an order of protection against the guy, fearing retaliation for not telling Internal Affairs that he was “just a friend who stops by once in a while,” as per his request,** and now she wants Nassau County to cough up a few million for unleashing this animal on her. Read more »

Back in April, both the New York Times and Charlie Gasparino claimed they’d heard Lloyd Blankfein was tired. So tired, they were told, that a regular nap would not suffice, but rather an entire lifestyle change was necessary, which included quitting his job. Goldman Sachs said the reports were untrue and reassured us at the time that Lloyd would be with us for many years to come. Unfortunately, the stories opened the door for people to start speculating about who might take over for LB when– we don’t even want to say it let alone think it– he decides he’s done running Goldman Sachs. They included current president Gary Cohn, vice-chairmen Michael Evans and Michael Sherwood, the latter of which was recently named Gary Cohn’s successor as chairman of the partnership committee, as well as “more junior candidates” like, David Heller, Harvey Schwartz, and David Solomon. Today Reuters reports that despite being less known than some of the other names, Solomon “might have what it takes to lead Wall Street’s most powerful bank.”

While it remains to be seen whether his slight resemblance** to Lloyd will be a good or a bad thing for his candidacy (will the fact that he kind of looks like LB serve as a constant reminder that he’s not LB and never will be?) insiders are apparently into Solomon’s laid-back attitude and the fact that he’s not a trader. Here’s a little more info on Lloyd Lite. Read more »

  • 16 Jun 2011 at 9:17 AM

Anyone Missing A Couple Summer Analysts?

These two were apparently spotted in Battery Park at 5:15am. Could be staged (Gray Pants’ head-in-lap looks a bit posed and he seems like he’s more sad than passed out) but if you were going to fake something like this, wouldn’t you step it up a little/lot a bit (save for the fact that it’s early in the morning, the duo/scene probably wouldn’t garner that much attention during lunch)? No one’s even missing any articles of clothing or giving off a scent of White Zinfandel mixed with remorse. Probably just taking a li’l nap and chose to do so outside rather than under their desks. Read more »

A month ago, Charlie Gasparino reported that Lloyd Blankfein’s friends had told him LB was tired of the grind and mulling over stepping down as CEO of Goldman Sachs by the end of the 2011. Goldman denied the story and reassured the world that Lloyd would be with us for many years to come. Apparently these so-called friends, like Gasparino, who said the denial was merely proof that GS was lying to him, beg to differ and have continued to tell the press Lloyd is on the way out. Read more »