naps

  • marissamayer

    News

    Marissa Mayer Is Sorry About The Ill-Timed Zzzz’s

    She might’ve dozed off and missed a meeting with top execs, but it wasn’t, like, […]

    / Jun 25, 2014 at 8:45 AM
  • ammo

    News

    At London Brokerage, “Only Real Men” Douse Each Other In Water: Lawsuit

    Once upon a time, an Aussie named Robert Bou-Simon worked at London brokerage BGC Partners. […]

    / May 29, 2014 at 4:15 PM
  • News

    German Court Rules Failure To Notice 222,222,222.22 Euro Whoopsie Not Grounds For Termination

    An obviously tired German bank employee fell asleep on his keyboard and accidentally transformed a […]

    / Jun 11, 2013 at 3:58 PM
  • News

    Exotic Dancer Turned Financial Services VP Wants Long Island To Pay $10 Million For Forcing Her To Have An Affair With Responsibility-Shirking Cop

    Remember Tara Obernauer? For a quick refresher, Obernauer is vice-president at Forbes Private Capital Group, whose resume also includes an MBA from Hofstra, five years as a compliance officer at Guggenheim Capital Markets, and dancing gig at a now-defunct gentlemen’s club called Stringfellows, where she earned “$1,000 a night or more.” Last July she started having an affair with Nassau County police officer Mike Tedesco,* which involved Tedesco literally and figuratively “parking his cruiser in Obernauer’s driveway” during his shift and “hanging out on the couch, watching TV, and taking naps” while letting younger cops, who Tedesco referred to “assist bitches,” respond to calls. The reason we know all this is that Mike’s bosses “compared reports by Obernauer’s neighbors with GPS records from his squad car, [which] showed at least 57 visits” at times he was supposed to be working, and then cross-referenced them with Obernauer, who had no intention of covering for Tedesco after she learned he was married with kids.**

    Anyway, in April Obernauer got an order of protection against the guy, fearing retaliation for not telling Internal Affairs that he was “just a friend who stops by once in a while,” as per his request,** and now she wants Nassau County to cough up a few million for unleashing this animal on her.

    The mistress of a married Nassau County cop — who enjoyed more than 100 nights with him while he was on duty — is threatening to sue the county for $10 million because it didn’t prevent the couple’s steamy romance. Sexy Wall Street exec Tara Obenauer, 42, has filed a notice of claim saying that she intends to sue Nassau County and the Police Department because officials were “negligent” for not keeping Officer Mike Tedesco from visiting her house while he was on duty. “As a result of the County and Tedesco’s negligent and intentional acts, Claimant has suffered and sustained severe and substantial emotional damages,” the notice of claim said.

    Here’s what Nassau County Attorney John Ciampoli had to say about that: “I just think it’s rather ironic that she’s filing a notice of claim against the county. Because, based on what has been reported in the press, she was receiving from the county Police Department a lot more than others were receiving.”

    *Who showed up to her house claiming he’d received a report of loud music, after a colleague who knew Obernauer piqued Tedesco’s interest by telling him “she was good-looking.”
    **To which she responded “They have your GPS records, you moron. I’m not perjuring myself for you. We’re over and I want my key back.”

    / Jul 13, 2012 at 12:10 PM
  • News

    Bloomberg: Everyone Sleeps At The Office

    Back in April, both the New York Times and Charlie Gasparino claimed they’d heard Lloyd […]

    / Jun 27, 2011 at 9:53 AM
  • News

    Anyone Missing A Couple Summer Analysts?

    These two were apparently spotted in Battery Park at 5:15am. Could be staged (Gray Pants’ […]

    / Jun 16, 2011 at 9:17 AM
  • News

    Lloyd Blankfein’s Friends Continue To Tell The Press He Needs A Nap, Might Retire

    A month ago, Charlie Gasparino reported that Lloyd Blankfein’s friends had told him LB was […]

    / Apr 18, 2011 at 9:03 AM
  • News

    How Did A Bunch Of Drunk British Traders Locked In An Elevator Deal With Their Liquidity Issues?

    The London Evening Standard reports that 7 British traders (among them, BGC Partners’ head of […]

    / Mar 2, 2011 at 11:03 AM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino: Business World’s Gonna Miss Larry Summers When He’s Gone

    They haven’t had nice things to say about him over the past year and a […]

    / Sep 23, 2010 at 11:15 AM
  • News

    Larry Summers To Quit White House After Mid-Term Elections

    According to White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, the nap lover’s impending departure, and those of […]

    / Sep 21, 2010 at 4:25 PM