If you were going to try and extort money Bear Stears alum, how would you do it? Would you call him at his new job and talk trash about his wife? Would you call his house and tell his wife he was running around on her with another woman? Would you call his mother-in-law in New Jersey and breathe heavily into the phone? Or would you bring out the big guns and start sending pizzas, sometimes 20 at a time, to his home in New Canaan, as a sign you really meant business? Donato Anthony Minicozzi chose all of the above. Read more »
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2012 Glenview Performance Means Larry Robbins Has Enough Cash On Hand To Retrofit Backyard Rink With A Row Of Seats For B-D List Celebrities And Pay Surly Neighbors To Rip Tickets
By Bess Levin
Whether they want to accept the olive branch or not is their choice. Read more »

If it feels like it’s been forever since we last heard from Eliot Spitzer’s former gal-pal Ashley Dupré it’s because it has. What’s she been up to since July 2010, when she told reporters she was focusing on getting her real estate license and writing a dating column which sadly did not continue past its debut? Becoming a small business owner and shedding her old skin, which she’d appreciate if you didn’t bring up in conversation. That (hooking for $2,000/hr) was then, this (being a New Jersey-based entrepreneur) is now. And while the new venture “represents a continuation of her evolution,” rest assured “special underthings” and swimsuits will always have a place in her life. Read more »
Goldman Equities Trader Will No Longer Wonder What Happens To A Dream (Involving Beating People With Branches) Deferred
By Bess Levin
Back in the day, as in 2007, Wall Street compensated its employees in a way that made them feel loved. In a way that allowed them to repress the true passions they would have been going after if the price were not oh so right. Now, obviously, not so much. Combine that with suffocating regulation and you’ve got a bunch of financial services hacks who are saying fuck this shit– I refuse to waste another day here while my dream of opening a line of Russian saunas in New Jersey slips away. So far just one guy– a Goldman trader in Moscow– has said that, but presumably the floodgates are about to open. Read more »
The feat of strength was accomplished mostly through firing people but whatever, the point is he got the job done, as promised. Not only that, but he did the whole thing while planning a wedding at the same time. Read more »
Even if he has to dunk the damn balls himself. The billionaire also had this to say: “Do you remember the song of Frank Sinatra? ‘New York, New York.’ If I make it there I will make it anywhere.”
If you were hoping that the slowing economy and credit crunch would stymie private equity firms, you’ll be disappointed to here the news that the latest plan from the buyout kings at Blackstone involves buying debt from private equity deals gone bad. Blackstone is raising $1.5 billion to invest in the debt of troubled distressed companies taken private in leveraged buyouts. So far they have a $100 million commitment from that New Jersey state pension fund, that invested $180 million in Lehman Brothers.
In other news, if Wall Street gets anymore Jerstastic we’re going to start covering London instead.
Blackstone’s GSO, Monarch Start Funds to Buy Distressed Debt [Bloomberg]
You’d think strip clubs, steak houses, and Real Doll outfitters would be the only ones feeling the pinch of financial professionals not making/spending any money, but you’d be wrong! In Northern New Jersey, bagels and cheese, items heretofore considered staples in the community, are being cast aside, deemed luxuries too expensive to justify in these hard times. Rick Breistein, proprietor of the Cheese Shop of Ridgewood which sells $60/pound English Stilton and Brillat-Savarin, says that many of his former customers are “bond traders…[who] don’t come in anymore…they are suffering–they are not making the money.”
And according to bagel guy Elliot Cohen, there’s been a dramatic drop in orders from the nearby Morgan Stanley and Smith Barney. “We used to get breakfast and lunch deliveries there, and we’ve seen a lot less,” he said. “One guy used to buy breakfast for the whole group on Friday. He doesn’t come anymore.” I speak for everyone here when I say there’s an almost unbearable sadness about this permeating the DBHQ this morning. So here’s what–our sandwich welfare program is now being extended to include bagels and lox. If you know a deserving individual who can no longer afford his/her own shmear, get in touch. Jews and non-Jews welcome. Any requests for flagels will be sent to spam.
Wall Street’s Pain Felt By North Jersey Retailers [The Record]

