Yesterday we all learned a valuable lesson about what happens when you address Steven A. Cohen as “Stevie” in the presence of his outside counsel, Martin Klotz, as evidenced by a recently unsealed deposition (you get one warning and then you end up in the trunk of a 1987 Cadillac Sedan De Ville, is what). Unfortunately, crucial dialogue between Klotz and Michael Bowe, the Fairfax Financial lawyer who was questioning Cohen, was cut off. And that part was just as important. You see, just because you can’t call him Stevie, doesn’t mean you can just call him anything you want, unless you’re okay with getting Sonny Corleone’d the next time you drive through a toll plaza without EZ Pass. Read more »
SAC Capital Lawyer Martin Klotz Showed Enormous Restraint In Not Dealing With This Guy By Driving Him Out To The Pine BarrensBy Bess Levin
Quick story or not so much a story but a pet peeve I’ve never gotten off my chest: I hate when people use the nickname “Stevie” when referring to hedge fund manager Steve Cohen. It’s like nails on a chalkboard when anyone says it but particularly when deployed by total strangers creating false intimacy with the guy, as though they’re boys and/or they just finished sucking Cohen off. For her part, Mrs. Cohen is also said to be irked by the moniker, as she finds it childish. Having said all that, I’ve never taken someone to task for the offense* and, presumably, the Missus hasn’t either or at least not in the spectacular form demonstrated by Cohen’s lawyer. Earlier this year, the SAC Capital manger sat for two days of deposition, which was recently unsealed, as part of a lawsuit filed in 2006 by Canadian insurer Fairfax Financial against a group of hedge funds that included SAC. At one point, Fairfax’s lawyer Michael Bowe addresses Cohen as “Stevie,” and in response, Martin Klotz, the attorney representing Steve and SAC, goes absolutely ape shit. Read more »
Never Call James Gorman ‘Jim,’ Or The Real Reason Morgan Stanley’s In The Toilet, According To Charlie GasparinoBy Bess Levin
For those of you who were unaware, Morgan Stanley CEO James Gorman has one hard and fast rule, which is simply this: he will cut a bitch who refers to or calls him anything other than James. As in no Jim, no Jimbo, no Big J, no Jimmy, no Uncle Jim, no Jimmy Crack Corn, no Jimmy Cakes, no J’may and no JP Gorman Chase. It’s not just a pet peeve of his like, oh, ‘I hate it when people call him Jim, really ticks me off,’ it’s a ‘I will beat the ass of anyone– anyone– who calls me anything but James. Not kidding- I’ll scratch their fucking eyes out.’ This is well-known inside Morgan Stanley and as Ji–I mean James is so serious about it, his handlers go to great lengths to make sure anyone who interfaces with him from the outside is well-aware of what he wants to be called. One person who recently became acquainted with the rule? Charlie Gasparino, with whom it did not sit well.
I’ve been covering Wall Street now for two decades and never before have I been corrected by a CEOs’ handlers about a first name as much as I have when it comes to Gorman, who took the top job at Morgan about a year ago, and is now struggling to recreate that bank in the aftermath of the 2008 financial crisis, which it barely survived.
“Of course, Gorman should go by whatever name makes him feel comfortable,” Chaz says but here’s the thing– it makes Chaz highly uncomfortable, this not being allowed to call James Jim thing, not that there’s anything wrong with that. What’s more, this rule of Gorman’s is isn’t just about a name. Rather, Charlie actually posits, it’s indicative of what’s going to doom Morgan Stanley, and why CG fears James at the helm can only mean trouble. Read more »
My dear friend and former colleague John Carney will be joining CNBC.com as a “senior editor” in the coming weeks and will also be “appearing regularly on CNBC’s Business Day programming.” Over the last few years John has been on the network as guest commentator but now that he’s an official member of the team, one very important thing needs to happen. It goes without saying but here it is: a nickname. Maria’s got one, Erin’s got one, Phil LeBeau’s got one and now Carney needs one too. If he’s gonna do this, he’s gotta do this right. I know what my pick is but let’s get democratic about this. Serious suggestions only, please.
Many of you have likely done things you should be embarrassed about in the name of getting laid. Given. For the most part, though, that embarrassment (and second hand embarrassment) remains contained to a relatively small group of people. Your friends, onlookers at the bar, cab drivers and so on and so forth. It’s likely that tens of millions of people will never see the depths to which you’ve sunk to put your d in a v. Such is not the case for Fabrice Tourre, who in one of the many emails released by Senator Carl Levin (no relation) over the weekend, has him begging off the ‘fabulous’ title in a message to lady-friend Marine Serres, a Goldman colleague. There’s nothing NSFW about this, but it should be considered NSFThoseWho’veJustFinishedLunch. Read more »
The Druries will make their debut co-anchoring The Call while Melissa Francis is on maternity leave. “Amanda is one of the smartest and most talented business news anchors anywhere in the world and we are very excited that she is joining our U.S. team,” said Jeremy Pink, SVP Business News, CNBC. No doubt but we’ve got bigger issues to focus on. Namely the fact that AD will be here May 10 and before she’s made an member of the stateside team, she’ll need an official nickname. If inspiration is necessary: Read more »
Much has been written about Nouriel Roubini’s quest for a new nickname. Sadly, despite a great job by the Dealbreaker commentariat in finding a new moniker, Roubini has decided to go with one suggested by CNBC. Roubini the Realist, because “I’ve always said that I’m Dr. Realist rather than Dr. Doom; it’s important to be right, not pessimist or optimist and that’s how it is.”
As we previously wrote, Nouriel Roubini’s had enough with the Dr. Doom nickname. CNBC polled its audience and came up with some names. We also asked you to help him find a new name, and we have to say, you guys came with way better ones. Roubi-boy’s got friends in you. Both results below.