No turkey unless it’s a club sandwich

As Tiger’s revenues have declined, his expenses have only climbed. To begin with, there’s the reported $100 million divorce settlement. And last August, Woods took out a $54.5 million mortgage on his home in Jupiter Island, Florida. According to the public document, Woods is required to pay off the mortgage in full by January of 2016, giving him a mere five and a half years to shed the debt. He’s therefore paying more than $10 million each year, including his $431,042 in annual property taxes. Between the divorce settlement and his recent mortgage, Tiger has faced recent debts to the tune of at least $160 million, though it’s unknown how much of this he has now paid down. His endorsement earnings will not come close to this in 2011, and he’s no longer adding much to his pot with golf winnings. Nike’s decisive slash to his contract has not helped matters. [Fortune, earlier]

As you know, it’s never too early to start thinking about bonus season. Those of you who took our bonus negotiation tips to heart and have been practicing them faithfully in the men’s room bathroom with your wing-man have nothing to worry about. Others should be soiling yourselves in fear. But take heart. Even if it didn’t penetrate when I said to open with a line such as “Listen up you motherfuckers, let me just cut right to the chase. This not my first rodeo. I have signed a hundred other bonus agreements that have been way bigger than this shit, okay? So nobody is going to be fucking bamboozling anyone with this lingo-jingo-fucking mingo” and even if you do work for a shop taking it up the tailpipe this year, you can still do pretty okay with yourself, thanks to a certain philandering sports star with a taste for skanks and an aversion to turkey. Read more »

  • 01 Jul 2010 at 2:20 PM

America Hates Three Things

Man-whore prima-donnas who refuse to eat turkey unless its on a club sandwich, carriers who get in the way of them and their new iPhones, and minions of God, who can’t help the fact that they kick ass at making it rain ka-ching! on your face. These dislikes translated to Nike (which stood by Tiger even after the sandwich incident), AT&T, and Goldman Sachs apparently being the most hated companies of the year. [CNN Money]

Goldman Sachs Mortgage Co., the lender to the owners of Florida’s Sawgrass Marriott Resort, failed to win bankruptcy court permission to take over and sell the company’s assets. U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Paul M. Glenn in Jacksonville, Florida, today denied Goldman’s request to lift the automatic stay, a part of the bankruptcy code that shields a company from creditors’ efforts to collect on its assets. Tiger Woods made his Feb. 19 apology for his marital infidelity at the TPC Sawgrass golf club.


There’s nothing going on today but even if that weren’t the case, I’d still be asking you to gather ’round so we can have some Real Talk about Tiger’s supposedly scandalous texts to one of his 845 pieces on the side. Joslyn James (pictured) has released a bunch of messages Woods sent to her last year. A lot of people have their panties in a serious bunch over the supposed shock value found within. Here’s a sampling:

* “Where do you want to be bitten”

* “How about a quickie before i go:)”

* “Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls”

* “Let me know when your about 20 out i will order dinner. And what would you like to eat” Read more »