By early June the market had given back all of its first quarter gains, and the crisis yet again came to a head. The European leaders took a cue from Groundhog Day and did as they always do: they announced yet another ‘Summit to Fix Everything’…The whole thing is such a mess – who can blame them for heading for vacation? Besides, this allows the politicians to position themselves to give the appearance of personal sacrifice, should they need to interrupt their Olympics cheering to make emergency phone calls…Landon Lee, our Research Associate in Dallas, has decided to pursue an MBA at Columbia Business School. As Cheryl Einhorn is an Adjunct Professor there, one can’t help but feel that Landon is choosing Cheryl over David. And who wouldn’t? To discourage further poaching, David has taped a “Do Not Solicit Greenlight Employees” notice to the home fridge. [Greenlight 2012Q2 Letter To Investors]
oh no she di’int
Greenlight Capital Is Sick Of Ineffective European Leadership, Rival Organizations Poaching Its TalentBy Bess Levin
Angela Merkel Suggests Euro Bond Enthusiasts Go Back To The Kiddie Table– The Adults Are Talking HereBy Bess Levin
The euro area has to resolve “that the time of living above our means is over once and for all” and pursue debt reduction that will stretch over “many years,” Merkel said in a speech to members of her Christian Democratic Union late yesterday in Magdeburg, eastern Germany. While stepping up her rejection of a Greek default, she said that issuance of shared debt by euro countries isn’t the solution to the problem spilling from Greece, even though some may long for the “big bang” to end the debt crisis. “Whoever believes that has no clue about the economy,” she said. [Bloomberg, earlier, earlier re: kid tables]
If Miss FDIC thought the Rochdale analyst had her back she was sorely mistaken. Read more »
“You know George [Soros] is someone we all have aspired to match his brilliance but I have to tell you, you have to remember something there, the richest people on the planet become socialist. Socialism is a great thing for George. I want to bring George down. I want George’s reputation. George is now embracing socialism. What is socialism? Socialism is when you build a moat around the castle. I’m spending all of my time trying to decide where I’m going to live because of taxes are so high in the country and less of my time trying to figure out how to surpass Soros and his reputation.” [Bloomberg]
Since the Debrahlee “Too Hot For Citi” Lorenzana story has come out– which has included soft-core porn spreads, morning show appearances, and allegations that DL was canned because her presence distracted her male colleagues, who supposedly couldn’t work in her presence because their “penises were standing up”– Citi has had to keep its thoughts on the matter relatively brief. They still have to go to arbitration with this lady and Jamie Dimon and his firm are the only ones allowed to tell a woman to “zip it, Toots” without taking any heat. So while we’ve heard lots of “this case is without merit,” and so on an so forth, we’ve yet to have Citi tell us how they really feel, re: the girl who dreamed of being “Tits on a Stick.” Today that ends, with a spokeswoman for the bank offering that in her opinion, this chick is not that hot.
Citibank rep Natalie Riper [noted], “Just because she’s saying she was too hot doesn’t mean it’s so.”
Tomorrow, Vikram Pandit’s “brutal truth” on the bazonkas in question. Not to be missed.
DealBook reports that Patricia Cohen, the ex-wife of Steve, has dropped her lawsuit against the big guy, after filing it less than a month ago. SAC spokesman Jonathan Gasthalter said in a statement: “As we have said from the outset, these decades old allegations by Mr. Cohen’s former spouse were patently false and entirely without merit. We are not surprised that, when faced with our motion for sanctions, they withdrew the complaint.” Also, Zambonis never lose.
Notice of Voluntary Dismissal [PDF]
UPDATE: Uh, so Patricia has this to say: “I did not authorize Paul to withdraw the case. My attorney, Gaytri Kachroo, will take the necessary actions in response to this.” So we’re back on!
This may be something you don’t want to hear but needs to be said: god bless Eliot Spitzer. Yes, the disgraced former governor has no power of any kind anymore, or the ability to persecute Wall Streets wrongdoers (the thing he used to get off most on, even more so than illicit tail). That much is obvious. He’s got every reason to hide under the covers or, on good days, make it to the couch and tuck in for a full day of trashy programming and yelling at whoever’s appearing on Maury. And nobody would begrudge him for feeling bad for himself, because wouldn’t you, if you’d fallen so far? And yet. He will not give you the satisfaction of seeing his tears, or how much this is killing him. That’s right– the noted hooker fucker is not only putting on his black socks, but his brave face too. Because who needs the governorship, or a bid for the presidency, when you’ve got not only a gig with Slate, but sassy quips as well?
THE making of New Year’s resolutions is, at once, the most optimistic and cynical of acts. The vow to change posits a continuing faith in human improvement (“I’ll lose 30 pounds this year”), but the format, a checkable mental list, is so tyrannical and skeptical of success that it often leads to failure (“Yeah, well, maybe 20.”) [...] So we asked some prominent New Yorkers to muse aloud not on their own ambitions for the year ahead but on our collective objectives. What might knit New York together in 2010? What should be its goals, its boundaries, its promises to improve, and change, and grow?
Thus far in the Nomos Capital case, we’ve heard IR girl Jordana Wimmer’s allegations against her boss, Mark Lowe (that he tried to kill her (several times), he hired hookers to work in the office, he forced Wimmer to be present while he received lap dances, he has an Asian fetish, he made dumb blonde jokes, and he told an intern he “face-fucks” enemies), and Lowe’s defense (Wimmer has a “vivid imagination, those hookers were “highly qualified,” lap dances are a spectator sport, everyone loves an Asian, he didn’t make up those jokes he only forwarded them, and he said “screw,” not “face-fuck”).
Now the fund’s representatives have been given the opportunity to bring their own evidence to the table and they’re pretty sure once you hear the dirt they’ve got on this girl there’ll be no doubt that Jordana Wimmer is a lying, deceitful tramp whose claims are not to be bought. Did the defense reveal emails from Jordana Wimmer to fellow colleagues making her own sexist dumb blonde jokes? Did they bring forward footage of Wimmer S’ing D for money? Did she hire someone to kill Mark Lowe? Not just threaten but actually face-fuck an enemy? Was it Wimmer who forced Lowe, against his will, to get the lap dance, which she insisted on standing by to watch? None of the above. Something so much worse, and way more incriminating.
Citing what Nick Headly, a director of the company, claimed was another example of non-payment, he recalled the taxi journey. He said: “There had been one occasion when I loaned Jordan £10 for a taxi fare back to her flat.
Why does General Motors take it up the tailpipe? You could probably come up with at least handful of reasons, but at a breakfast hosted by Fortune this morning, Steve Rattner wanted to highlight one in particular. Over bagels and lox, the retired Car Czar, who last month was finally able to get it off his chest that automaker’s PowerPoint presentations were for shit, said that the higher-ups took no responsibility for their action and spent most of their time smack talking the “competition.”
On Rattner’s conversation with former GM CEO Rick Wagoner when he told him he was fired: “The most curious part of it was that after three to four minutes of chit chat he asked ‘Well are you going to fire Ron Gettelfinger too?’…And I said, ‘Look I’m not in charge of firing Ron Gettelfinger’… One of the problems with GM is that they blame everyone but themselves for their problems…But the fact is, Ford is doing OK and there is no reason why GM had to be in this position.”
Also, don’t talk to him about socialism.
There’s a lengthy article in Boston Magazine about how Harvard has been hemmoraging money (the endowment has lost $11 billion, bringing it down to 2005′s mere $25 bill, due in no small part to Harvard Management Company, which one alum privy to the details of the school’s balance sheet told the author, “took the university right to the edge of the abyss…Meaning, you’re out of cash. That…is the definition of insolvency.”) Very few insiders would speak on or off the record, as Harvard is attempting to downplay the perception that its people are soiling themselves in fear, but one brave
fool soul did offer this absolutely harrowing take:
While the failed presidency of Lawrence Summers generated more headlines, this quiet crisis is actually a greater threat to Harvard. The university has been so rich for so long that most of its denizens can’t remember a time when money was a concern. While Harvard officials are doing their public-face best to downplay the problem, the numbers don’t lie, and this economic crunch will leave the school a profoundly changed place. Harvard will have to become smaller and academically more modest, and as it does it will chafe at having grand plans without the resources to fund them. For the first time in decades, it will worry about merely paying its bills. The university will have to decide: If it is no longer so rich that it doesn’t have to make choices, what does it really value? What are its priorities? It won’t be a comfortable debate.
“We are in trouble,” says one Crimson professor. In the aftermath of deep and damaging cuts, “there is a real chance that Harvard will no longer be considered the best there is.”
This is also good:
Further squeezing Harvard was a transaction Summers had pushed it into in 2004, when he successfully argued that the university should engage in a multibillion-dollar interest rate swap with Goldman Sachs and other large banks. Under the terms of the deal, Harvard would pay Goldman a long-term fixed rate while Goldman paid Harvard the Federal Reserve rate. The main goal was to lock in a low rate for future debt, and if the Fed had raised rates, Harvard would have made hundreds of millions. But when the Fed slashed rates to historic lows to try to goose stalled credit markets, the deal turned equally sour for Harvard: By last November, the value of the swaps had fallen to negative $570 million.
Drew Gilpin Faust and the Incredible Shrinking Harvard [Boston Magazine via The Atlantic]
So, as you may be aware, the Big 3 (Shitty) car makers have been trying to convince Washington to give them a briefcase full of money, OR ELSE. The consequences, they say, will be unimaginably catastrophic, so just give it to us already god damn it, okay? But the smack addicts have been begging dealer Nancy for a hit for quite some time now and she hasn’t yet indicated she’ll kowtow to their pleas. So, aware that the old girl is playing hard ball, and desperate to stop the persistent itching, GM CEO Rick Wagoner brought out the big guns. In an interview with CNBC, Rick (short for Richard, long for Dick, short for Dick Fuld), regarding the matter of just letting the damn things die already, told Phil LeBeau, “Letting GM go is a terrible idea. Look at the effect of Lehman Brothers.”
That’s right, Washington– you’ll shut up and put the money in a bag or you’ll have one dead dog on your hands.
Related: More Collateral Damage From The Fall Of Lehman