oh no they di’int

  • News

    Goldman Sachs Recommends JP Morgan Find A Good Chop Shop

    JPMorgan Chase & Co.’s parts are probably worth more to investors than the whole after regulators proposed tougher rules penalizing firms for size and complexity, according to Goldman Sachs Group Inc. JPMorgan could unlock value by splitting its four main businesses or dividing into consumer and institutional companies, Goldman Sachs analysts led by Richard Ramsden […]

    / Jan 5, 2015 at 5:12 PM
  • "How DARE you"

    News

    Pimco: Jim From Accounting’s Departure Would Cause $10 Billion In Outflows

    According to the Wall Street Journal Pimco investors have pulled $10 billion since Friday, when it was announced that founder Bill Gross was taking his bonds and leaving. Is this development cause for concern over in Newport Beach? No, says Pimco management, and for three reasons: 1. Most people aren’t going to follow ole whatshisface […]

    / Sep 29, 2014 at 1:26 PM
  • shrunken bull on offending b-card

    BusinessCardGate

    BofA Employees Respond To Merrill Lynch Business Card Complaints With Graphic Images Of Flag-On-Bull

    Earlier this week, we learned that Bank of America has a number of very unhappy ex-Merrill Lynch brokers on it hands. Their beef? New business cards that feature a slightly smaller bull than in times past, an obvious affront, as they see it, to the Merrill brand. While no formal demands have been made, it’s […]

    / Jun 20, 2014 at 8:30 AM
  • lloyd-blankfein-and-gary-cohn

    News

    Goldman Sachs Suggests NYTimes Sleep With One Eye Open

    On Tuesday afternoon, an article appeared over at the Times that referred to Lloyd Blankfein as the “former” CEO of Goldman Sachs. As Blankfein is very much the current chief executive, a correction was issued. …teeing the bank up for the deployment of some corporate Twitter account sass.

    / Apr 16, 2014 at 1:49 PM
  • Herbalife

    News

    Pershing Square: Herbalife Silenced Us

    Earlier today it was noted that, to the surprise of many, Bill Ackman and Carl Icahn had refrained from asking questions or dialing in and making sudden outbursts during this morning’s conference call to discuss Herbalife’s fourth quarter earnings.  Obviously this came as a shock on account of Ackman and Icahn taking many opportunities in the past to share their feelings re: the company and each other. And while it’s true both men personally held their tongue’s today, according to Pershing Square, one of its analysts had planned to ask questions on Bill’s and the hedge fund’s behalf but was shot down.

    / Feb 20, 2013 at 5:07 PM
  • News

    Let’s Get One Thing Straight: Ken Griffin Only Accuses People Of Attempting to Gain A Competitive Advantage By Gaining Access To Proprietary Trading Strategies– He Does Not Get Accused!

    Back in October, a former Citadel employee, Yihao “Ben” Pu, was arrested and charged with “stealing trade secrets” from Ken Griffin (by “copying company data onto a removable storage device,” and then attempting to sell it to Teza Technologies AKA the firm a bunch of ex-Citadel guys tried to join in 2009 before being sued for doing so by Griffin, as well as the the shop a former Goldman programmer, Sergey Aleynikov, went to jail for after giving it proprietary GS code). Now, because apparently people just can’t help themselves, KG has been forced to levy another allegation of theft against some former employees who he believes took a piece of his property when they left for high-frequency trading firm Jump Trading. Does Griffin have actual evidence that they swindled him? No, not exactly. But he’s got a hunch, and that hunch is based on the fact that since 2005, when people from Citadel’s “tactical trading group” started leaving for Jump, “some of the strategies” employed by the TTG “have become less profitable” and are “behaving in a way consistent with their having been copied by rivals.”

    So what KG would like a court to do is force Jump to turn over “personnel documents, strategy and trading records, and source code,” which will prove him right and the Citadel defectors to be the plunderers he knows they are.  Evidence in hand, Griffin will then sue Jump and everyone named Ken Griffin will go home happy. The only issue that needs to be worked out is Jump Trading’s cooperation, which so far is proving difficult to obtain. In fact, the firm is being downright unhelpful and not only that? Its legal team has accused Griffy-boy of being the thief, or at least trying to be. That’s right: the way JT sees it, Citadel’s new profitable algorithm development system is a two-step process that goes something like this:

    Step 1: Steal successful algorithms from rival firm.

    Step 2: Use them.

    In its response filing, Jump said that Citadel had no evidence that the algorithms had become less profitable because of any of Jump’s actions. It said that any of the hundreds of other algorithmic trading firms could be at fault. “The petition is nothing more than a transparent attempt by Citadel to obtain a competitive advantage by gaining access to Jump’s proprietary and confidential trading strategies,” Jump’s motion said.

    Your move, KG.

    Citadel Accuses Jump Employees Of Stealing Secrets [Reuters]

    / Jun 5, 2012 at 1:31 PM
  • News

    So Things Hit A Rough Patch And Facebook Is Ready To Throw In The Towel?

    Is that how it is?

    NYSE Euronext and Facebook have exchanged phone calls and e-mails about the possibility of the company switching its listing from Nasdaq OMX Group, according to a person familiar with the matter. Facebook, which listed on the Nasdaq Stock Market on May 18 after completing the world’s biggest initial public offering by a technology company, is listening to the New York Stock Exchange, said the person, who asked not to be named because the discussions are private.

    Facebook Said To Have Talked With NYSE About Exchange Switch [Bloomberg]

    / May 23, 2012 at 5:19 PM
  • News

    The Securities And Exchange Commission Requests A Little Credit Where Credit Is Due, Please!

    Yesterday, the Wall Street Journal ran a front page story reporting that the Securities and Exchange Commission had “blown” the cover of whistleblower Peter C. Earle. The article claimed that Earle, a former employee of Pipeline Trading Systems turned government informant, had his identity “inadvertently” revealed through a “gaffe” on the part of an SEC lawyer, who showed a Pipeline exec “a notebook from the whistleblower filled with jottings about trades, calls and meetings.” The executive was said to have recognized Earle’s handwriting and told his colleagues, who had previously suspected but did not know for sure that “Pete’s the whistleblower.” The story was easy to believe because if you’ve been keeping up with the SEC over the last number of years, you know that this sound exactly like something they’d accidentally do. Except that whereas the regulator fully copped to, for example, missing Madoff while trying to access ladyboyjuice.com 385 times/day, it says that this accusation? Is bull shit. It did not “inadvertently” “blow” anyone.

    Here’s its strongly worded letter to the Journal saying as much:

    The Securities and Exchange Commission in no way exposed Peter Earle as a whistleblower, and our use of his notebooks in an investigative deposition was neither “inadvertent” nor a “breach” or “gaffe” (“Source’s Cover Blown by SEC,” Page One, April 25). It was a deliberate decision, which SEC lawyer Daniel Walfish discussed in advance with his supervisor, who was present for the deposition in which the notebooks were exhibited. Nor did the fully authorized use of the notebooks in any way compromise Mr. Earle or the integrity of the SEC’s investigation of the Pipeline Trading Systems matter.

    Although it was widely known among executives of Pipeline and Milstream Strategy Group that Mr. Earle had approached the SEC after he was terminated from Milstream—a fact volunteered by several witnesses and acknowledged by Mr. Earle long before any use of his notebooks—the SEC declined to confirm his identity and still treated his status as a cooperating witness as confidential. The SEC made sure to obtain all of the notes of the approximately six Milstream traders, and in the SEC’s deposition of Gordon Henderson (the supervisor of Mr. Earle and the other traders), the SEC used other traders’ notes along with those of Mr. Earle. The use of these traders’ notes—highly relevant evidence prepared in the ordinary course of their work at Milstream—in no way revealed whether Mr. Earle or any other trader was or was not cooperating with the SEC.

    George S. Canellos

    Director

    New York Regional Office

    U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission

    New York

    SEC Did Not Blow Source’s Cover [WSJ]
    Earlier: SEC Burns Whistleblower In The Most SEC Way Possible

    / Apr 26, 2012 at 1:25 PM
  • News

    Moody’s Treads Where No Other Rating Agency Dare

    “Moody’s Investors Service downgraded six European nations and became the first ratings firm to warn the U.K.’s rating could be at risk, citing the area’s weakening ability to implement measures aimed at reducing debt…Where Moody’s did deviate from recent actions by other ratings firms was in changing the outlook for the U.K. There had been […]

    / Feb 13, 2012 at 8:03 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’12: Deutsche Bankers Cannot Believe This Is Happening To Them

    Some employees are preemptively miffed and, frankly, insulted. “Deutsche bonus structure for Associates-Directors was revealed today: *Up to eur50, all cash. *Eur50-100, 70% deferred. Yes… *Eur100+, 85% deferred.”

    / Feb 3, 2012 at 6:02 PM
  • News

    Bridgewater Associates Lays Some Truth On One Dartmouth Student’s Ass

    Earlier this week, a Dartmouth College undergraduate wrote an opinion piece for the student newspaper in which he recounted “vomiting in my mouth” after hearing an anecdote about Bridgewater Associates supposedly paying a girl $100 to write an essay about why she chose not to participate in their summer recruitment session. That the hedge fund […]

    / Aug 5, 2011 at 11:37 AM
  • News

    1 Guy, 2 Cups: Extreme Rationing Backfiring At Goldman Sachs

    In these uncertain times, when banks are beating expectations by reporting $9 billion losses, and everyone is girding their loins for layoffs, certain sacrifices must be made. Morgan Stanley is tracking BlackBerry usage, encouraging employees to keep it to a minimum. Employees at one unnamed firm are giving up expensed lunches and taking the subway. […]

    / Jul 19, 2011 at 10:46 AM
  • News

    Has Bank Of America-Merrill Lynch Been Disrespecting Sallie Krawcheck?

    John Carney says yes, by running around with Dan Sontag, her sworn enemy.

    / Apr 25, 2011 at 1:14 PM
  • News

    Fund Of Funds Guys Are Worried About What Will Happen To SAC Capital If Steve Cohen Buys The Mets

    As you may have heard, Steve Cohen recently put in a bid for a minority stake with the Mets. Should he be successful, the SAC Capital founder’s partial ownership will please a great many people- the organization, which needs the money, the players, who need the discipline, the SAC employees, who will have the honor […]

    / Apr 21, 2011 at 11:24 AM
  • MBAs, News

    CFA Loses Candidates’ Exams

    / Jan 20, 2011 at 10:45 AM
  • News

    Hank Paulson Apparently Still Somewhat Defensive About Criticism Over Taking Ski Vacation While Wall Street Burned To The Ground

    As you may know, in December 2008, when things were getting really fun on Wall Street and Ken Lewis was calling him in a fit of drunk tears to ask if it was too late to pull out of the whole BAC-MER thing, Hank Paulson was in Aspen was hitting the slopes. No big deal […]

    / Jul 15, 2010 at 1:10 PM
  • News

    Citi Has Something It Wants To Say To Debrahlee “They Fired Me Because Of THESE” Lorenzana

    It’s been relatively quiet on the Debrahlee Lorezana front the past week but for some reason– I don’t know, maybe something happened over the weekend that just made Vickles snap and decide he’d had it with this chick– the bank has just put out the following statement re: T’s on an S:

    / Jun 28, 2010 at 12:26 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’10: There Are Some Very Unhappy Germans Downtown

    From the mailbag: Zee Germans at Deutsche are delaying IB analyst comp a month, with payouts coming Aug. 13.

    / Jun 23, 2010 at 3:36 PM
  • News

    UBS Conspiring To Keep Employees From Quitting?

    Know this, Swiss: they’re on to you. UBS’s bonus numbers are due out the end of February, but for the second year in a row, this has been because they’ve delayed both bonus communication and payouts. The idea is that many recently opened positions at other banks will have been filed by the time the […]

    / Jan 11, 2010 at 10:00 AM

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