OH NO YOU DI’INT

  • 15 Feb 2013 at 2:02 PM

CNBC Is Nobody’s Sloppy Seconds!

*DJ CNBC Tells Wall Street Execs To Go Back To Their Ready Made Whores At FBN, Bloomberg TV

*DJ CNBC ‘If You Go On Bloomberg We’ll Fucking Cut You’

*DJ CNBC ‘Brian Moynihan Knows What He Did’

*DJ CNBC ‘Will Tell Everyone That Walks In This Building That in 2R, Cohn, You’re Nothing But A Whore’

*DJ CNBC Suggests It Won’t Hesitate To Throw A Drink In The Face Of Anyone Seen Running Around Town With Another Network

*DJ No, CNBC Doesn’t Think It’s Overreacting

*DJ CNBC Will Show You Crazy Read more »

  • 21 Oct 2011 at 10:45 AM

Laughed THROUGH THE TEARS, That Is

On Thursday night Stephen Schwarzman delivered the keynote speech at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, an annual Catholic charity fund-raiser named in honor of the former governor of New York. By tradition, the keynote speaker of the 66-year-old event is supposed to deliver a mostly humorous speech, and Mr. Schwarzman’s roughly 15-minute peroration was laced with humor…[Such as] the line that brought the house down: “Brian Moynihan is here tonight. He’s the C.E.O. of Bank of America. As many of you know, Brian’s brother Patrick runs a Catholic boarding school in Haiti. Their parents must be so proud to see two of their boys running an underfunded, nonprofit organization. Even Mr. Moynihan, who was in the audience, laughed.” [Dealbook]

Earlier this morning, Squawk on the Street had a little interview with Blackstone chief Stephen Schwarzman, live from Waldorf Astoria, where the Yale CEO Summit is taking place. The chat was conducted by Tyler Mathisen, with his colleagues patched in from the mothership in Englewood Cliffs. Everyone was very excited to have Steve-o on and things started off friendly enough. David Faber had a question about Dynegy. Erin Burnett wanted to know about investing opportunities abroad. And Mathisen and Schwarzman, whose firm owns the Waldorf, had a cute little repartee going about Steve delivering towels to Tyler’s room and leaving a mint on his pillow (given how game Schwarzman was to play along, and the diversity of the The ‘Stone’s companies, now might be a good time to nominate a certain someone as the next guest on Undercover Boss).

Then Mark Haines had something to say. Read more »

I’m kidding, of course. As you may have heard, Carlyle is considering buying a stake in a hedge fund manager and is in talks with multiple firms, in addition to looking to raise “two new debt funds and a $1 billion pool to buy small companies.” The units would be overseen by Mitch Petrick, who joined the firm in March from Morgan Stanley. Presumably, there are at least a few people who are amped about Petrick’s potential stewardship, while others are, how to put this, less than thrilled. Read more »

Hey boss! How ya been?

If you’re Paolo Pellegrini,* tipping off the SEC to your former employer’s role in today’s Goldman case, according to CNBC’s Steve Liesman.

Earlier: Who needs John Paulson? Not Paolo Pellegrini.

*Whose attitude resulted in being more encouraged to leave the hedge fund (as opposed to leaving on his own terms) than has been suggested in various stories quoting P-squared (which, BTW, is what he calls himself).

UPDATE: A spokesperson for P-Squared has released the following statement:

In 2008, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission approached Paulson & Co., among a number of financial institutions, as part of a publicly disclosed inquiry into collateralized debt obligations. At that time, Paolo Pellegrini was a portfolio manager for Paulson & Co. and was familiar with the CDO market. Paulson & Co. provided the SEC with the names of employees, including Mr. Pellegrini, who might be interviewed as part of the SEC’s inquiry. Mr. Pellegrini cooperated fully with the SEC ‘s inquiry as did a number of his colleagues at Paulson & Co.

Mr. Pellegrini left Paulson & Co. at the end of 2008 to form his own investment firm. Mr. Pellegrini maintains an amicable relationship with Mr. Paulson and remains grateful for the professional opportunities extended to him by Mr. Paulson, for whom he has the highest regard.

I don’t think I have to tell you that the SEC has been stepping up its game like crazy these last few months. They had a stern talking to with one of their employees about cutting back on his tranny porn surfing time on the job, they busted that “psychic” money manager , and now they’ve reaffirmed their commitment to protecting the capital markets by barring a trader from the industry for accepting car service from a broker he traded with without disclosing the conflict of interest. That’s “bribery” and it ain’t happening on Mary Schapiro’s watch.

They also nailed his buddy to the wall for accepting rent and travel costs for himself, his relatives, and his pet. Read more »