oh okay

Back in November, it was reported that last summer, Morgan Stanley financial adviser Martin Joel Erzinger, pictured, had driven over a doctor who was on his bike and then kept going, “until he reached a Pizza Hut parking lot, where he stopped and called Mercedes auto assistance to report the damage to his vehicle.” Dr. Steven Milo suffered damage to his knees and scapula, spinal cord injuries, bleeding to the brain, in addition to ‘disabling’ headaches and the possibility of multiple surgeries. The part of the story that was somewhat more shocking was that rather than be slapped with serious to quite serious charges, a court decided that for his crime, MJE would be hit with two misdemeanour traffic violations and restitution to the victim. People were somewhat outraged, to say the least. But! That was prior to hearing all of Marty’s side of the story. Read more »

  • 17 Sep 2010 at 3:50 PM

Emma Lasry Explains “Closet Bitch”

“It wasn’t meant to be like, one of these songs that showcases your voice,” she told Daily Intel of her debut track, the video for which she’s removed from YouTube. Also: “Everyone assumes I don’t do anything and I just spend my father’s money. My dad does investing for a living, so he’s like, ‘You’re my investment. If you make it big, you’ll be able to pay me back.'” [DI]

Yesterday a fellow named Sean Michael Carey started a Facebook group called “Punch Jamie Dimon (CEO of JPMorgan Chase) in the Balls,” the stated purpose being exactly that. He didn’t say why he wanted someone to inflict harm on JD’s (glorious, possibly cup-protected) sack, only that after doing so, you should add “Sean Michael Carey sends his regards, fucker.” Today Daily Intel found out the source of SMCs beef toward James: after bouncing a few checks, Chase froze his account and said they were investigated him for check fraud. And then: Read more »

A lot of people are of the mind that many of the decisions made by Stan O’Neal were responsible for the fall of Merrill Lynch. Decisions such as the ones to fire very senior, long-time employees once he was named CEO, take on a massive amount of risk, perhaps more than was, let’s just call it “prudent,” in the name of profit, etc, etc, etc. The fact that he increased ML’s investments in CDOs from around $1 billion to around $40 billion (-ish) in about 18 months or so, which caused the bank to writedown $8 billion (give or take a few mill) in October 2007, and book its largest quarterly loss ever ($2.24 billion) are things such people cite when they make this argument. But here’s another theory, which is being tested out this morning. Tell me what you think of it: None of this was Stan O’Neal’s fault.

Now, before you jump down my throat, hear me out. This lesser known interpretation of facts comes from someone extremely familiar with the firm, and events that transpired during the O’Neal era. Someone who could tell us, definitively, if we’ve been wrong all along about the former CEO. Obviously, I’m talking about Stan O’Neal. Read more »

It’s just that its size helped prime your lady to get off. Read more »

  • 03 Mar 2010 at 5:25 PM

Hank Paulson Explains His Disfigurement

Hank Paulson has a mangled pinky finger. The thing is terrifying, and a huge distraction to anyone who happens to lay eyes on it, either in person or while it’s on display on TV during a Congressional hearing. I don’t say this to be mean, it’s just a fact. And it’s not like it doesn’t have its uses, too, like for freaking out drunk people (Ken Lewis) and for fun party tricks. Anyway, we’d always figured it got that way during some sort of bird watching expedition (those hawks don’t fuck around) or that it was caught in a meat slicer, or whatever. I’d never asked, though, because the way I was raised, it’s just something you don’t do. Luckily Jake Tapper has no such qualms about bringing up people’s glass eyes or bum legs or thing of that nature. Read more »