okay so the scariest environment imaginable…thanks…that’s all you gotta say

Unclear but, based on recent reports, very possible. If you can come up with another idea re: how the “intimidating Cohen has become even more intimidating” in the wake of MartomaGate, we’re all ears. Read more »

Remember Garrett Bauer? For those who need a refresher, GB was a trader (who “mostly worked from home”) who was charged last year for running a decades-long insider trading scam with an M&A attorney, Matthew Kluger, that involved stealing information from several law firms. (In April 2011, 20 FBI agents knocked on Bauer’s door to arrest him which, while terrifying, didn’t come as much of a shock– the duo had recently become suspicious that the authorities were onto them and, naturally, went about destroying evidence, a process Bauer recounted to a cooperating witness in a conversation he didn’t realize was being recorded, telling the CC: “My heart was beating ten thousand miles an hour. I went right up to my apartment and I broke the phone in half and went to McDonald’s and put it in two different garabage cans. And someone was watching me. I thought it was an FBI agent. And I asked him, ‘Do you know me? You look familiar.’ And, like, I was so panicked. I literally didn’t sleep that entire night…I can’t sleep. I am waiting for the FBI to ride into my apartment. I am on edge all night thinking they are coming in.”)

Anyway, Bauer ultimately pleaded guilty and is set to be sentenced today. Though he could receive up to 11 years in the big house, a judge will be taking into consideration letters “expressing support or urging leniency” sent on Bauer’s behalf, some of which were written by fans he’s gained working the college lecture circuit the past few months, explaining to undergrads why they don’t want to follow in his footsteps (hint: it involves bunk-beds). Read more »

  • 20 May 2011 at 4:00 PM

Jamie Dimon: Debt Default Would “Dwarf Lehman”

It would be a “moral disaster” if the United States were to default on its debts and become unable to pay its obligations, Jamie Dimon said at an appearance in Colorado Thursday evening. The U.S. is the financial linchpin of the world, and the economic effects of the U.S. defaulting could be “potentially catastrophic,” he said at a dinner for the University of Colorado Denver Business School. “It will dwarf Lehman,” Dimon said. [HP]

  • 14 Apr 2011 at 5:03 PM

Jamie Dimon On Not Raising The Debt Ceiling

Every single company with treasuries, every insurance fund, every — every requirement that — it will start snowballing. Automatic, you don’t pay your debt, there will be default by ratings agencies. All short-term financing will disappear. I would have hundreds of work streams working around the world protecting our company for that kind of event. [PBS via BI]