First off, this is not some absurd idea we came up with on our own. At an event in London this afternoon, Fiona Laffan, Goldman Sach’s head of media relations in Europe said that the bank is tossing around the idea of 1) advertising on TV and 2) Blankfein appearing on Oprah’s couch. Read more »
Goldman Sachs is set to report bonus numbers next week, after postponing the good news by several days. This has made a lot of people very upset! Some, because they think it’s a vast conspiracy, rather than a logistical move (LB needs to have the golden scrots rotated before he can make it rain ka-ching! on his employees’ faces), others because they just wanna know so bad! Who can eat, sleep or get on with his/her life until we know what Goldman Sachs employees are making??? GS Bonus Day is the most exciting event of the year and you put it off any longer and it’s likely some people might actually burst. And it’s not just deeply disturbed navel gazers who need to know now it’s everyone! It’s journalists! It’s financial services hacks at other banks! It’s Dick Bové coping by chain smoking and biting her nails down to nothing! It’s Gary Busey! It’s John Mack, who can barely keep his legs crossed! It’s the Goldman Sachs Value Stock Tips Guy (remember him? Tear)! It’s Ping Jiang, death-gripping his favorite whiteboard marker! It’s Larry Summers, losing* his shit! It’s Jeff Gundlach, watching Bone Us Day Volume 19 on loop! It’s Goldman employees, as captured by the Guardian! Such as this kid, running to the Falafel truck!