other ideas include smashing their faces with an iron

Hedge funds investments in the PPIP will be levered, but the equity downside is still 100%. Apparently, though, that’s not enough for Rep. Kenny Marchant, who believes the private side doesn’t “have enough skin in the game.” He wants them taking this shit seriously, and in order to get them to do so, we’ve got to up the stakes. So, suggestions? Off the top of our heads we’re thinking 300% downside for the hedge funds that get involved. You know, a real Dantesque financial plan. We also like the idea of them getting burned but like, REALLY burned, as in third degree burned, via dipping managers in a life-sized deep fryer, with gigantic tongs.