I told her that it was intended to be a compliment à la you’re the Money Honey but powerful and in leather and carrying a whip but I don’t think it helped much. MDubs did concede, however, that “it could be worse” and that her mother “loves” the moniker which really? Is all we’re after here: the mom endorsement. Unfortunately Vikram Pandit was not present at the party last night for Andrew Ross Sorkin’s new book, Too Big To Fail, as a demo on the spreader and truss bar would’ve been nice but maybe next time. John Mack was there, though not offering himself up for an impromptu primer. JM held court in the back room for most of the evening, where he told us that contrary to popular belief he is “not retiring” but merely shedding the CEO title. Being Chairman of Morgan Stanley is a full-time job, and he will be in the office everyday come January, for those of you thinking he’d be taking it easy in North Carolina. No Lloyd Blankfein, which stung, but his loss, right? We don’t need that guy and his blood sucking ways. Jamie Dimon did his part repping for the “hot piece of ass” CEO contingent and fresh off an afternoon set at the Laugh Factory was Bill Ackman, on a roll with the prison warden jokes. Also working the room:
parties
Even if you claim to have no interest in quitting your job before you eventually get fired and continuing to live the sweet Murray Hill lifestyle you’ve grown accustomed to by being made the kept boy of a rich older woman, surely you can admit that there’s some entertainment value in watching others go down that path. Which is why we suggest looking out for “Cougars: NYC,” a reality show now in development that will give us an insider look at life as the hunter and the hunted. God knows when it’ll air– presumably after the tears dry– but the producers held an open casting call last week at Libation, so you know it’s going to be good. According to pussy (cat) Dawn Ellison, who maintains a blog about banging younger men, the series aims to “shatter stereotypes that surround cougars and cubs.”
Not content to sit this one out but unsure where to turn? We suggest RSVP’ing to UBS’s September 9th Hedge Fund Client reception at L’Escale. It’s been internally dubbed a “cougar hunt” and Andrew Cuomo is said to be attending so the upper limit should be almost unfairly high. Consider it good practice.
Related: The Saddest Story Ever Told
Meat and Eat [NYP]
Invite [UBS]
But not in the British sense of the word (oh yeah, bit of a linguist here). At left, we’ve got Alexandre Graham, one of the organizers of last Saturday’s “Circle Line Party,” a soiree held to commemorate the final hours of legal drinking on the Tube before London Mayor Boris Johnson’s alcohol ban on public transportation went into effect. Sadly, we were not in attendance, but judging by the photos of people swinging from poles, passed out under benches, knocking each other unconscious, and puking on one another, it seems like Graham did an exceptional job, and may have a future in the party planning businesses. That talent will serve him well, in the event that his employers at the Royal Bank of Scotland fire him, which the Daily Mail reports the higher ups are considering. Absolute BS, we know.
As it happens, we received an email from someone interested in retaining Graham’s services this morning, wondering if we knew of any interest in “some sort of [similar] day drinking event for every single unemployed financial services employee in New York.” The ad people in this asylum want you to say no, of course I’m not interested because I’m gainfully employeed and pulling down 9 figures. Don’t let them silence you. It would be a great way to kick off your Summer o’ Severance. Plus, the whole NYC vs. London thing, which is always fun to debate. Which one can get the most bankers arrested in a single evening? Now that both cities blow equally re: not being allowed to drink on the subway, it’ll be an even match. At least think about it. If not, we can always float the rumor that Metro North is considering a similar ban on booze. It’s not going to happen but who among us wouldn’t love to see (/take part in) Westchester and CT’s middle-aged commuters losing their shit and erupting into a drunken violent party protest over not being able to drink gigantic Coors out of paper bags on the way home to the wife and kids? The answer is no one.
Need some inspiration? Here’s a clip of Saturday’s festivities, set to Abba, so you know it’s good (bad).
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