Patricia Cohen

Shhh, he didn't mean it.

Shhh, he didn’t mean it.

As those of you who keep up with the Life And Times of Steven A. Cohen know, there are few things on this earth that the hedge fund manager despises more than his first bride, Patricia Cohen. So despite the fact that she has been suing him nearly five years; is, in the words of his lawyer Martin Klotz, “harass[ing] and embarrass[ing] Steven,”; and, at this point, wants what represents approximately 1/900000th of his personal wealth, the SAC Capital founder continues to refuse to settle this thing privately and throw her a dime. While merely casual observers of the Big Guy assumed that Patty’s recent victory, wherein she “won permission as part of a 25-year-old divorce battle to question him about any lies he may have told related to wrongdoing at the hedge fund” would’ve gotten him to budge, SAC Scholars know better.

“It’s a bit of a head-scratcher,” said Anthony Sabino, a business law professor at St. John’s University in New York, who has followed the case. “He’s been pilloried in the press. You’d have to think he is sick and tired of that and would like to get out of the spotlight. It’s baffling why he just doesn’t say, ‘Here’s the money, why not leave us alone?’”

For the record, here are a list of things Steve Cohen would rather do than give his ex-wife satisfaction, monetary or otherwise: Read more »

stevecohen (1)Also about how he had “no idea” who might’ve been responsible for sideswiping Tim in accounting’s driver side mirror, despite the fact that he was seen peeling out of the parking lot at the time of the incident. This upcoming bout truthiness brought to you by Cohen’s ex-bride, Patricia C. Read more »

stevecohensaccapitalThis December will mark five years since Patricia Cohen, Steve’s first wife, came back into his life with the fury of a thousand Preet Bhararas. To celebrate, he’s going to smother her with a pillow. Just kidding, that’s for year six. For five, he’s going with this: Read more »

Patricia Cohen, previously known as one half of Mr. and Mrs. Steven A. Cohen, has new representation in her quest to nail her ex-husband to the wall. And while some might assume that the fact that she’s on her fifth attorney as meaning this case is dead in the water, others like the ex-Mrs. SAC’s chances. Read more »

  • 27 Jan 2014 at 4:22 PM

Steve Cohen’s Ex-Wife Isn’t Going Anywhere

A judge may have thrown out her RICO claims, but she’s still got breach of fiduciary duty, and if she has to go through 20 more lawyers to make her case, so help that’s what she’s gonna do. Read more »

  • 23 Sep 2013 at 2:01 PM

Steve Cohen Not The Only One Sick Of His Ex-Wife

Those of you who’ve kept a detailed spreadsheet of Things That Are Pains In Steve Cohen’s Ass know that a particularly hide-chapping outstanding item is that of his ex-wife, Patricia. Her existence in general, sure, but specifically the lawsuit she filed against him nearly four years ago. Over the years, the case has been dismissed and the case has been reinstated; Patty has replaced one lawyer, and another, and settled on a third; and the former Mrs. Cohen has gone from asking for $300 million to half of SAC to a measly $8.25 million. The one thing that hasn’t changed? Her desire to nail her ex-husband to the wall. And while she seems to have vowed to never, ever give up in her quest to do so, one member of the bench has decreed she’s got one final shot at settling this the legal way and then must resign herself to getting back at her ex by sticking pins in her Stevie doll. Read more »

  • 14 May 2013 at 6:02 PM

Patricia Cohen Has New Representation

Following yesterday’s resignation of PC’s most recent lawyer, Howard Foster, in her case against Steve Cohen, who she claims hid millions from her during their divorce 20+ years ago, the ex-wife that could has hired herself a third attorney. Read more »

Do you want to take on a man who would rather shave off his eyebrows than pay his ex-wife a dime? Do you relish the opportunity to oppose an army of highly-paid corporate lawyers with tens of thousands times the resources at their disposal? Are you not spooked by the prospect of serving as the third in a series of lawyers on a case? Then give Patricia Cohen a call. Read more »