Pershing Square
December performance. Continue reading »
Sure, Bill could let himself get upset about how things are panning out this year but he’s not. And if anyone should be freaking out about the way things are going, you’d better believe it’s him. He’s got mucho personal dinero tied up in this thing and if it goes down big time, it’s gonna be good-bye weekly Target shopping sprees, hello can I fill out a job JCPenney job application. And yet here he is, no freak outs, no panicking, no how am I going to get myself out of this. Everything is fine, there is nothing to worry about. If you were invested with a manager like, for instance, John Paulson, then you could worry. Then it’d be totally understandable to consider yourself fucked- big time. Luckily for you, though, you’re with Pershing and at Pershing, we focus on the big picture. Rome wasn’t built in a day and places like Family Dollar aren’t going to become premier shopping destinations without a little patience. So: Do. Not. Worry. About. Your. Money. All is good. Take a deep breath, calm down, and dry those eyes. We’re all in this together and if Bill’s not crying, you shouldn’t be either. Continue reading »
No, not really, the new moneymaker is buying calls on the Hong Kong dollar, betting on Hong Kong abandoning its peg to USD. Regular recipients of Ackman’s unsolicited advice (e.g. anyone he’s set up with a personal trainer or wife), and those who read the comments here, may have already known that.
Hedge Fund Investor Ackman Making Big Bet on HK Dollar [CNBC]
In his most recent letter to Pershing Square investors, hedge fund manager Bill Ackman dropped a bomb. The fund has added a new star to its portfolio and a big one at that. “In the past, we have made asymmetric investments which are not for hedging purposes, but which also offer large payoffs on relatively modest commitments of capital where we similarly believe that the market has mispriced the probability of a positive outcome,” Bill wrote excitedly. “We recently identified an investment that broadly falls into that category.” What, praytell, would that investment be? Continue reading »
How Would You Like To See The Oval Office Entirely Redecorated With The Home Furnishing Offerings From Target?
By Bess Levin
He’s already thrown his hat in the ring for a gig running Treasury Secretary but the people would like Bill Ackman to dream bigger. Washington Post readers polled yesterday said they want the Pershing Square founder to run as a third party candidate for President (his qualifications being the bank plan he wrote up in 2009 and the fact that he was once invited to the White House to speak with Larry Summers). Continue reading »
Tired Of Fickle Capital And Passionless Investor-Gnats, Bill Ackman Mulls $3 Billion Fund IPO
By Bess Levin
As you know, hedge fund manager Bill Ackman loves himself a good activist investment, particularly if it’s in a place where he can get his lawn mowers, towels, flat screen TVs, and pretzel kegs all for an extremely reasonable price. Unfortunately, while many of his investors support him in this pursuit, some don’t seem to understand how Bill operates. Take Target, for example. The first time he laid eyes on it…I don’t want to say there were tears, but it got emotional. The prices? The layout? That adorable fucking dog? He had to have it- ALL OF IT. Sure, Pershing Square did get involved but it could’ve been faster, bigger, soon. I don’t want to say you blew it for him but…you blew it for him. That’s why Bill’s been thinking and what he’s come up with is that the next time he’s doing one of Sunday morning walkabouts** in a suburban strip mall and stumbles upon his next great love, there can be no hesitation. Which is why Pershing Square proses this. Continue reading »
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